ginger5377

I haven't been to this site since July, but I'm quickly spiraling downward one bottle at a time. I didn't go to work today because my latest binge was so bad that I couldn't even fake it. My face is swollen, red skit, puffy eyes, nausea, and I could keep going. My husband is slowly falling out of love with me and we have only been married for 1.5 years. I am 26 and feel so depressed because I know that I am ruining my life. I have so much to be thankful for and I'm creating a mess for everyone around me. I need help. The good news is that I poured everything out in the house and haven't had a sip today. That is very out of character. Normally, I would have binged all day. I am tempted to do an outpatient program, but I can't not work. We need my income. Any suggestions? Please help!

MemphisBlues

I know you are only 26, but perhaps you can find some inspiration in our stories, those who were unable to quit for a couple decades past your age, who will tell you that now is the best time. Ever.

Of course, for me the powerlessness factor comes into play: I couldn't quit.

I had to reach a bottom comparable to others here, one that I pray you can try to avoid. For me, I had to surrender to that powerlessness, to allow alcohol to win, to place alcohol as a higher power of sorts, one that I could not compete with.

And I found freedom in giving in. Surrendering. Admitting alcohol had won.

So I just placed alcohol over there, not out of reach, but just something I couldn't handle, and in that I had what victory I could achieve. Admitting alcohol was stronger than me allowed me to seek a power I could safely bow to, one that I could offer myself to. It's not some hooky man-in-the-sky thing, it's just not booze. Looking at the stars or the moon at night helps.

To demystify alcohol's power over me, I had to seek help. If you can't to inpatient, there's other programs out there. Seek one out.

And a final thought" Maybe you can surrender if you realize one thing -- this can get much, much worse.

doggonecarl

You should at least check with your doctor, be honest about how much you've been drinking and your desire to quit. It's wise to withdraw under medical supervision.

I understand the need to work. Look at it this way, do you want your income impacted by your recovery? Or your drinking? Because as some point your job will be affected and that means your income.

Sobriety is the best thing to ensure you have a steady income.

But there are options. Are you open to face-to-face support in the form of AA?

KateL

Good for you for pouring the drink away, That shows strength. But it might be an idea to check in with your doctor xxx

ErikT

A lot of times, employers will help employees who have addictions provided the employee comes to them with complete honesty. I lost a job of 4 years in 2003 due my drinking. My boss told me the company would have helped me had I come to them before my drinking ruined my employment. Maybe this could be an option for you? Because even outpatient would be during the week days for atleast half the day. You would still have to explain to your employer why you would need this time off. Most intensive outpatient (IOP) takes place mornings Monday thru Friday. Something like that. Someone seeking help in early recovery, in my opinion, needs more than a once a week thing. Or maybe a 28 day inpatient rehab is what you need. Its only a month out of your life and you would be right back to earning $. You obviously would have to be honest with your employer about this too. If it means your life...and your marriage...im sure your husband would suck it up financially for 28 days. Recovery isn't easy. Sacrifices have to be made. I wish it were different. Its almost impossible to get sober without a wrinkle....nobody knowing....and without missing a beat.

ErikT

doggonecarl is right....sooner or later, your income is going to be impacted. There maybe a way...if you take action now....that this impact could only be temporary. Without seeking help....the impact could be long-term or permanent.

freethinking

If you can't do an outpatient program (most of them in the U.S. are pretty intensive and go for a few hours a day), what about going to an AA meeting? It's free and one hour out of your day. Even if you don't buy what they're selling, it is REALLY comforting to be around other people with drinking problems.

Dee74

Welcome back Ginger. Sorry to hear things are so rough.

Seeing your Dr is a good idea I think, especially if you're really ill.

Outside of that, if rehab is not an option, what about outpatient rehab or counselling, or a recovery group like AA or one of the many non 12 step alternatives?

Checking in here regularly can really help too - why not join our Class of February support thread?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-6.html
D

ErikT

Is there anyone of authority at your job you can trust with inquiring about whether or not your company offers help to employees with addictions?

ErikT

If not with funding....maybe atleast giving you the time off you need....?

Anna

I'm glad you posted and I hope that you find a way to work on your recovery.

least

Welcome back! I hope you can find your way to sobriety. Living sober really rocks.

koko

My employers have been extremely supportive in my recovery..Im truly grateful for them
!

MamaGoat

Go to AA. Read the Big Book. Surround yourself with people in recovery. Call your doctor and make an appointment. (((hugs)))