I don't think she'll ever "get it."
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
I don't think she'll ever "get it."
:slap: I guess I have to say, I don’t understand this mess, alcoholism. I was once so deep into it, I couldn’t see anything outside of me. But now that’s what I’m supposed to do. Focus on me, right? So why, the contradictions?
When we’re in it, we only think of ourselves, but to get well, we've got to think of ourselves, and if we’re living with a still drinking alcoholic, we have to think of ourselves... yeah, right.
My AW is out of detox, but there is no change. Still angry, still hateful, still has no concept of what sorry means. Today, I had to guys – yesterday she didn’t say Happy Father’s day, so I waited till midnight, hoping for something. Nothing but a question, did my son call to wish me one… with a snide attitude meaning, “You know I don’t like your son, and don’t feel he respects me…� (when she took me away from him at seven, and it has been hell, anytime I want to spend time with him – he is twenty-five now, and we have a great relationship when we see each other, but I know it hurt him, not having a mother, and the one I selected as a second, is a witch and has been all his memorable like), so I shine it off. Wrote a nice card for her for when she got home – no mention of it till this morning after asked, “I didn’t know how to take that card.� It was full of affirmations and things I thought would help her think about recovery and inspirational quotes that I thought would inspire a new attitude. But…
This morning she asked me to reach something too high for her – she’s a little shorty, but mean. And all I said was, a please would be nice. Why did I say that? Off she goes on, “Why do I have to make everything into an argument. Why is everything she does wrong?�
Hey, courtesy isn’t an argument. You treat me like **** anyway, I think a please is a small consideration for all I do. And you know what that did.
Separation talks… anxiety for me. What am I doing? Why do I even try? I was leaving right? All my stuff is packed. Almost told her so, but I don’t want to get kicked out before I can formulate a secure plan. But hell guys. I’m here telling others to hang on, and I’m drowning myself.
It will never get better. I’m beginning to see that I made the wrong choice years ago. This woman is just plain mean through and through. Drunk or sober! Why didn’t I see that before?
Oh, I was drunk too, then! That must be it! I don’t even believe she went to no meeting this morning. Just another lie… but at least I didn’t smell alcohol this time when she got back.
Plus the little control freak knows I have no gas to get to work, but I wouldn’t ask. You know how I’m feeling about this money mess right, hoping that she would ask if I needed any. No. Pissed about the please thing, she leaves, I’m stuck here another day! Walking. A forty thousand dollar car, sitting in the driveway, out of gas! Ain’t that a blip!
I’m still not giving up. As long as I have to stay, I will try. But the decision’s made. She helped finalize that this morning. I do honestly still love her. Believe me (no, I’m not trying to convince myself), and it’s hurtful to see what’s happening to her. But, you all are probably right… it’s time to get out of this sick relationship, and be happy somewhere else.
She even tried to tell me that you guys were so proud of her. Well that’s fine. Make ME proud. Let me see what a sober woman is like… cause it’s been so long, I forgot.
Enough ranting for now – carry on
When we’re in it, we only think of ourselves, but to get well, we've got to think of ourselves, and if we’re living with a still drinking alcoholic, we have to think of ourselves... yeah, right.
My AW is out of detox, but there is no change. Still angry, still hateful, still has no concept of what sorry means. Today, I had to guys – yesterday she didn’t say Happy Father’s day, so I waited till midnight, hoping for something. Nothing but a question, did my son call to wish me one… with a snide attitude meaning, “You know I don’t like your son, and don’t feel he respects me…� (when she took me away from him at seven, and it has been hell, anytime I want to spend time with him – he is twenty-five now, and we have a great relationship when we see each other, but I know it hurt him, not having a mother, and the one I selected as a second, is a witch and has been all his memorable like), so I shine it off. Wrote a nice card for her for when she got home – no mention of it till this morning after asked, “I didn’t know how to take that card.� It was full of affirmations and things I thought would help her think about recovery and inspirational quotes that I thought would inspire a new attitude. But…
This morning she asked me to reach something too high for her – she’s a little shorty, but mean. And all I said was, a please would be nice. Why did I say that? Off she goes on, “Why do I have to make everything into an argument. Why is everything she does wrong?�
Hey, courtesy isn’t an argument. You treat me like **** anyway, I think a please is a small consideration for all I do. And you know what that did.
Separation talks… anxiety for me. What am I doing? Why do I even try? I was leaving right? All my stuff is packed. Almost told her so, but I don’t want to get kicked out before I can formulate a secure plan. But hell guys. I’m here telling others to hang on, and I’m drowning myself.
It will never get better. I’m beginning to see that I made the wrong choice years ago. This woman is just plain mean through and through. Drunk or sober! Why didn’t I see that before?
Oh, I was drunk too, then! That must be it! I don’t even believe she went to no meeting this morning. Just another lie… but at least I didn’t smell alcohol this time when she got back.
Plus the little control freak knows I have no gas to get to work, but I wouldn’t ask. You know how I’m feeling about this money mess right, hoping that she would ask if I needed any. No. Pissed about the please thing, she leaves, I’m stuck here another day! Walking. A forty thousand dollar car, sitting in the driveway, out of gas! Ain’t that a blip!
I’m still not giving up. As long as I have to stay, I will try. But the decision’s made. She helped finalize that this morning. I do honestly still love her. Believe me (no, I’m not trying to convince myself), and it’s hurtful to see what’s happening to her. But, you all are probably right… it’s time to get out of this sick relationship, and be happy somewhere else.
She even tried to tell me that you guys were so proud of her. Well that’s fine. Make ME proud. Let me see what a sober woman is like… cause it’s been so long, I forgot.
Enough ranting for now – carry on
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Birthplace of Rock & Roll, Home of the Blues
Posts: 233
Sometimes it's easier to see where others are and lend them a kind word or two. There is nothing wrong with that. Connecting to another person is a GOOD THING. You are beginning to build a life that is not centered on the A in your life. You are working on you and beginning to truely realize that she is the only one who can save herself. It is surprising sometimes to find that behavior you thought was purely the booze is actually the sober personality underneath it.
Okay, so you are "stuck" for the day. What are you doing for you? What steps are you taking for your "secure plan"? If you are going for to hunt for a job, have you worked up resume? Have you put it on the boards such as Monster, etc??? Do you need to scan documents or find documents you need?
Please turn this pure Monday day into one with possibilities.
Okay, so you are "stuck" for the day. What are you doing for you? What steps are you taking for your "secure plan"? If you are going for to hunt for a job, have you worked up resume? Have you put it on the boards such as Monster, etc??? Do you need to scan documents or find documents you need?
Please turn this pure Monday day into one with possibilities.
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
River, 
you are my WonderWoman!
Yeah, I've started all that. But right now I can't get to the guy who has the job who want's me to help. Unfortunately, this small job is not a job for pay, just a (formulated) plan to get me and my name back out in the street with my marketing expertise, TO be able to start a new life. If I blow him up, and the word gets out, it's like, "He's back, and working for us (public) again!"
But volunteering does not pay bills nor does it the rent on someplace. I've even thought about since this is a start-up venture with so much potential, maybe I could tell him (some) of my situation and stay at the theater if they have a small room in back, and that way I'd ALWAYS be there to take care of things - security, movie projector and all the grunt work. I didn't see one, but I know there are a lot of unused room in that building. But wow, how would that sound? He's already surprised that someone like me, would want to work for him for free (and I really mean free at first, but if you knew what this was, you'd also know there are possibilites for so much money), since he's on the ground floor of something, that with or without my help, and his determination, is going to be big!
Monster, and others have my resume' plastered all over, and I haven't taken any jobs with them because... well, I thought I had one, remember. It was always nice to see that they wanted my talents. And a few weeks ago, I did start answering them! So River, that IS is the works too. But today?
Yeah I'm stuck. Here working on my scripts, and getting my lessons (that I'm three weeks late on already behind worrying about someone else) all ready to send into the course for evaluation. I even asked them for a job with the writing school. Shoot, I'd love that! Living and working in Santa Monica would be dream. I'd just have to stay away from the women of California. Cause most of them have more problems, than the one I'm leaving.
I always say, if you got a computer, you can do anything and find anything. Ya think?
...and thanks wonderwoman :ilu
you are my WonderWoman!Yeah, I've started all that. But right now I can't get to the guy who has the job who want's me to help. Unfortunately, this small job is not a job for pay, just a (formulated) plan to get me and my name back out in the street with my marketing expertise, TO be able to start a new life. If I blow him up, and the word gets out, it's like, "He's back, and working for us (public) again!"
But volunteering does not pay bills nor does it the rent on someplace. I've even thought about since this is a start-up venture with so much potential, maybe I could tell him (some) of my situation and stay at the theater if they have a small room in back, and that way I'd ALWAYS be there to take care of things - security, movie projector and all the grunt work. I didn't see one, but I know there are a lot of unused room in that building. But wow, how would that sound? He's already surprised that someone like me, would want to work for him for free (and I really mean free at first, but if you knew what this was, you'd also know there are possibilites for so much money), since he's on the ground floor of something, that with or without my help, and his determination, is going to be big!
Monster, and others have my resume' plastered all over, and I haven't taken any jobs with them because... well, I thought I had one, remember. It was always nice to see that they wanted my talents. And a few weeks ago, I did start answering them! So River, that IS is the works too. But today?
Yeah I'm stuck. Here working on my scripts, and getting my lessons (that I'm three weeks late on already behind worrying about someone else) all ready to send into the course for evaluation. I even asked them for a job with the writing school. Shoot, I'd love that! Living and working in Santa Monica would be dream. I'd just have to stay away from the women of California. Cause most of them have more problems, than the one I'm leaving.
I always say, if you got a computer, you can do anything and find anything. Ya think?
...and thanks wonderwoman :ilu
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Hi Lost Dream....
I remembered, someone said, when an AA and an Al-Anon live together , DON'T WORK EACH OTHERS PROGRAM.. You mentioned a card with affirmations, think better to not work her program, or help, or push. (Just my thinking , you have to go with your gut)
If or when possible just say, "You might be right" Only if a possibility that she could be right, from her viewpoint. This seems to stop them for a bit, they have to think about it.
I am curious, did you meet after you were sober??? I think we find another because we are partly addicted to the chaos?? (smile)
We shd all stay away from relatinships till we feel free of needing the chaos.
Just thoughts i don't want to sound preachy or judgemental. We are so confused to point we shd not make decessions, keep bag packed .HUGS Clancy46
I remembered, someone said, when an AA and an Al-Anon live together , DON'T WORK EACH OTHERS PROGRAM.. You mentioned a card with affirmations, think better to not work her program, or help, or push. (Just my thinking , you have to go with your gut)
If or when possible just say, "You might be right" Only if a possibility that she could be right, from her viewpoint. This seems to stop them for a bit, they have to think about it.
I am curious, did you meet after you were sober??? I think we find another because we are partly addicted to the chaos?? (smile)
We shd all stay away from relatinships till we feel free of needing the chaos.
Just thoughts i don't want to sound preachy or judgemental. We are so confused to point we shd not make decessions, keep bag packed .HUGS Clancy46
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
(back home - boy this walking is something! lol Left SB and I'm home again)
Let me clear this one up - at the time I was in Starbucks, and trying to write this before I lost the signal, and yes, we did drink in the beginning, not as drunks though. We weren't drinking buddies. We were functional drunks. beer anywhere, under the desk, thought no-one knew, until one day somone said damn, "your office smells like a brewery." But we were upwardly mobile, on the fast track and didn't see it as a problem, that is, I didn't see it until my drunk friends (even trying to be a businessman, at that time I still hung around with the "wrong crowd") started dying around me from the disease, and how as I got crazier, everyone kept telling me about it.
But I didn't have problem, they did. I knew how to drink. "I'd get drunk, make an ass of myself, fall down or pass out... simple." Next day, same thing. But I didn't have a problem, everyone else that kept messing with me about my drinking had the problem. I just wanted another drink. I still didn't "get it."
Plus, the little meanie wouldn't marry me, till I stopped (get that) and even that didn't do it. It was intervention from somewhere else, that sent me away for five months to a program where I learned how sick I really was. That was six seven years into the relationship. When I got out, I had made up my mind that being sober was what I wanted, and alcohol no longer held a an attraction, or any place in my life...
Boy was I fooling myself. We got married, and she continued to drink. That was eight years ago. And I am still trying to get her sober. But yeah, I guess that's been the problem. You can't get anyone else sober.
Twist of fate though, she wouldn't marry me drunk, and now I don't want to be married to her drunk! That's a trip in istelf.
Let me clear this one up - at the time I was in Starbucks, and trying to write this before I lost the signal, and yes, we did drink in the beginning, not as drunks though. We weren't drinking buddies. We were functional drunks. beer anywhere, under the desk, thought no-one knew, until one day somone said damn, "your office smells like a brewery." But we were upwardly mobile, on the fast track and didn't see it as a problem, that is, I didn't see it until my drunk friends (even trying to be a businessman, at that time I still hung around with the "wrong crowd") started dying around me from the disease, and how as I got crazier, everyone kept telling me about it.
But I didn't have problem, they did. I knew how to drink. "I'd get drunk, make an ass of myself, fall down or pass out... simple." Next day, same thing. But I didn't have a problem, everyone else that kept messing with me about my drinking had the problem. I just wanted another drink. I still didn't "get it."
Plus, the little meanie wouldn't marry me, till I stopped (get that) and even that didn't do it. It was intervention from somewhere else, that sent me away for five months to a program where I learned how sick I really was. That was six seven years into the relationship. When I got out, I had made up my mind that being sober was what I wanted, and alcohol no longer held a an attraction, or any place in my life...
Boy was I fooling myself. We got married, and she continued to drink. That was eight years ago. And I am still trying to get her sober. But yeah, I guess that's been the problem. You can't get anyone else sober.
Twist of fate though, she wouldn't marry me drunk, and now I don't want to be married to her drunk! That's a trip in istelf.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
sometimes people are happier apart. i think its the rare people dealing with addictions that are happier together. do something to find your serenity today. when you feel calmer. life gets calmer around us. kinda like making waves in a pool. if we are still of mind and spirit. we are filled with calm.
if we are splashing around. we get ripples.
good luck
if we are splashing around. we get ripples.
good luck
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
Maybe there is a rainbow...
...after the rain in my life.
At least I feel better today!
Don't know what it is. Maybe knowing that here, we do actually touch each other's lives. That we do matter, and others share similar pains and miseries of personal hells, that they too, have had to endure with their respective alcoholics, and it's helped me deal with mine.
Your responses :mj have helped me emensely, in dealing with all all this mess. And still are. Half the time I don't know what to do, but then I come here and I feel a little better each day. Cause this is ongoing. I know. But sooner or later, I have to make a decision...
I'm telling ya right now, it's just wait and see. But I've been here sooo many times... over and over! treament after treatment. Detox after detox! But you ALWAYS hope, don't you? That this time, maybe this time, they "got it."
Maybe this time... :tounge-in
At least I feel better today!
Don't know what it is. Maybe knowing that here, we do actually touch each other's lives. That we do matter, and others share similar pains and miseries of personal hells, that they too, have had to endure with their respective alcoholics, and it's helped me deal with mine.
Your responses :mj have helped me emensely, in dealing with all all this mess. And still are. Half the time I don't know what to do, but then I come here and I feel a little better each day. Cause this is ongoing. I know. But sooner or later, I have to make a decision...
I'm telling ya right now, it's just wait and see. But I've been here sooo many times... over and over! treament after treatment. Detox after detox! But you ALWAYS hope, don't you? That this time, maybe this time, they "got it."
Maybe this time... :tounge-in
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: la la land
Posts: 196
Lostdream for some reason I keep coming back to your posts, almost drawn to them I don't know why. Maybe cause I am each of you...I am such a B**** to my husband sometimes for no reason cause I have had it with his drinking and I just gave up. I hate the drinking, I hate the person, but I love the person but yet I can't stop being a B***ing mother to him. You think your confused? I used to drink with my AH also. I don't know what happens in a relationship after a while, with or without alcohol it's just plain ol' hard! When things are normal then I can't function. It's like I "have" to function...disfunctional! Just when I am having an ok day all by myself someone or something comes along to remind me how complicated life in general gets on the spur of a moment. I hear the "just take care of yourself" step all the time....blah blah blah...it boils down to'' Just don't lose yourself". I do take care of me and my kids and EVERYTHING else but I have to remind myself to not "lose me". You get so caught up your spouse, or looking for a job, or cleaning, or hearing other peoples problems....that you forget to "just be". I have to stop myself and make myself sit down wherever I am and just be. I just listen and I try not to think and I touch the bench I sit on to reasure me that I am still here....sane. I know I sound nuts but it's true.....sometimes just don't make things complicated.....just be......alone....in the quiet.....with yourself.
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GAW, ya'll caught me on REAL sappy day!
Listen to me, poor misquided fool.
Guess I'm just seeing that light again, and hoping there's not another turn, before the tunnel ends. 
Listen to me, poor misquided fool.
Guess I'm just seeing that light again, and hoping there's not another turn, before the tunnel ends. Member
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
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and yes, I do love these little icons... I think they're neatest things... they say so much without words :scratchch
...even when those words go awry. :footinmou And especially, when you've detatched enough, and can sit back and watch your A's behavior while they're playing out their little dramas, some of these little things speak to it perfectly :spectacle
...even when those words go awry. :footinmou And especially, when you've detatched enough, and can sit back and watch your A's behavior while they're playing out their little dramas, some of these little things speak to it perfectly :spectacle
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Castle Pa
Posts: 67
Lost dream, When I started going to Alonon I DID NOT like the phrase so often used " learning to live with an alcoholic" Heck I dont want to live with one I want him to stop..... And believe you me I have done everything even left to try t make HIM stop.
I know now he will not until he is ready, I still struggle daily with the fact the He chooses drinking over his family.How can a can of beer even match so slightly with sitting in the stands while your son hits the baseball and scores. Or While your 16 year old Daughter says " Dad can we talk" how rare is that. Or if your kids ask you to take them camping.... Just wondering do they really think that these kids will stop growing up while they wait for their Dad to get sober and care?
I do know after the seperation we needed time to get to know eachother again, and I believe the one post work your own program not her's. they do intertwine with eachother and the steps are the same. I have not only worked my program I alonon but they sugested I go to AA meetings as well so I go with my AH 1-2 times a week. ATleast to show support.
MY AH has no willpower and his self confidence is low. I am a very strong person but even strong people get tired!! Good luck and hang in there work on yourself my hopes are when he see's that I am working on myself and moving foward he will either decide to join me or my strength and me will leave him behind, for today I choose to be happy with myself and learn about me.
I know now he will not until he is ready, I still struggle daily with the fact the He chooses drinking over his family.How can a can of beer even match so slightly with sitting in the stands while your son hits the baseball and scores. Or While your 16 year old Daughter says " Dad can we talk" how rare is that. Or if your kids ask you to take them camping.... Just wondering do they really think that these kids will stop growing up while they wait for their Dad to get sober and care?
I do know after the seperation we needed time to get to know eachother again, and I believe the one post work your own program not her's. they do intertwine with eachother and the steps are the same. I have not only worked my program I alonon but they sugested I go to AA meetings as well so I go with my AH 1-2 times a week. ATleast to show support.
MY AH has no willpower and his self confidence is low. I am a very strong person but even strong people get tired!! Good luck and hang in there work on yourself my hopes are when he see's that I am working on myself and moving foward he will either decide to join me or my strength and me will leave him behind, for today I choose to be happy with myself and learn about me.
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Trying
Hoping that maybe this time it will be diffferent. Isn't that what we always do when they either come back, get out of treatment or try other ways to get sober. But little things shake my resolve to believe when irrational reasoning pops up 
and anger rises over nothing, and at any mention about her alcoholism recovery.
I don't want to pry. I'm detaching, and letting her be with what ever program she says she has, but I wish one of you church folk over there, would tell her to just read other people's post too. In all the different threads. Get to know the stories of other alcoholic's successes or failures, and listen to their try again stories.
Yeah, I know what you're saying, but I don't see that as working her program, I just know how much this has helped me, and I'm praying, if she could see the similarities in ours and some of the relationship stories I've read, then something might "click." Something might spark inside her, that we could save this thing! Or at least get a picture of how one can hurt another without even knowing they are. :JT I don't know, I just feel when I read things of people who are going through this, and have made it, against all odds, and then read of others, who so desperately want to save something that's dying, or already dead, I wonder about what you did, how did those that did get your relationships back on track do it, and it gives hope, that it's at least, possible.
Sorry if I get hard on some people, sometime. I just get so tired of my situation, that I hate to see anyone, have to suffer through the same thing. To me, it's like, get out before the craziness starts, or gets really bad. I wish I had had someone tell me this long ago! But once we're in it. We have to either deal with it or get the heck out. And that's the hardest decision to do, when the heart is involved. Alcohol or no. :rambo:
and anger rises over nothing, and at any mention about her alcoholism recovery.I don't want to pry. I'm detaching, and letting her be with what ever program she says she has, but I wish one of you church folk over there, would tell her to just read other people's post too. In all the different threads. Get to know the stories of other alcoholic's successes or failures, and listen to their try again stories.
Yeah, I know what you're saying, but I don't see that as working her program, I just know how much this has helped me, and I'm praying, if she could see the similarities in ours and some of the relationship stories I've read, then something might "click." Something might spark inside her, that we could save this thing! Or at least get a picture of how one can hurt another without even knowing they are. :JT I don't know, I just feel when I read things of people who are going through this, and have made it, against all odds, and then read of others, who so desperately want to save something that's dying, or already dead, I wonder about what you did, how did those that did get your relationships back on track do it, and it gives hope, that it's at least, possible.
Sorry if I get hard on some people, sometime. I just get so tired of my situation, that I hate to see anyone, have to suffer through the same thing. To me, it's like, get out before the craziness starts, or gets really bad. I wish I had had someone tell me this long ago! But once we're in it. We have to either deal with it or get the heck out. And that's the hardest decision to do, when the heart is involved. Alcohol or no. :rambo:
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Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
Same ol' same ol'
Well, it's the same old song and dance again. NO feelings, no understanding, no even trying to understand that something is drastically wrong with "us."
I want to say forget the alcohol, it's deeper than that, and I am beginning to believe what I said more and more! She is just like this, there's too much anger and she's totally oblivious to what's going on around her, other than work, and her friends who are unaware of her well kept secret. I'm a constant reminder that she can't hide it. That she must face it.
Divorce talk again tonight, and I wanted to laugh. So predictible. I knew, cause I've seen the signs of relapse already, and know again, it's just a matter of time... again. But then, she's distanced herself also. She could be off and have found another drunk... like I was, when we met and like then; off having the time of her life,
while I sit and worry about, is there any hope, any sign of a chance, to save this?
I think of the other poster, going through her struggle with their alcoholic, and it just comfirms all I said, it's best to just let it go and get on with your life... cause it just seems like they never get it, until they get it... and, while they're getting it...
...if you sit and wait for them to change... your life just slips away.
I want to say forget the alcohol, it's deeper than that, and I am beginning to believe what I said more and more! She is just like this, there's too much anger and she's totally oblivious to what's going on around her, other than work, and her friends who are unaware of her well kept secret. I'm a constant reminder that she can't hide it. That she must face it.
Divorce talk again tonight, and I wanted to laugh. So predictible. I knew, cause I've seen the signs of relapse already, and know again, it's just a matter of time... again. But then, she's distanced herself also. She could be off and have found another drunk... like I was, when we met and like then; off having the time of her life,
while I sit and worry about, is there any hope, any sign of a chance, to save this?I think of the other poster, going through her struggle with their alcoholic, and it just comfirms all I said, it's best to just let it go and get on with your life... cause it just seems like they never get it, until they get it... and, while they're getting it...
...if you sit and wait for them to change... your life just slips away.
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Titusville, FL
Posts: 82
Lost,
Friends told me the same thing last night. "If you sit and wait for htem to change, your life slips away".
I feel your pain. This is very hard, but today lets worry about US! I'll try if you will.
Alexia
Friends told me the same thing last night. "If you sit and wait for htem to change, your life slips away".
I feel your pain. This is very hard, but today lets worry about US! I'll try if you will.
Alexia
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
Ouch!
Looking over my last posts, I see the times. Damn! It doesn't take long for them to revert back to old behaviors. That was just in three hours yesterday!
No talk this morning. No slamming doors. No good morning... just music upstairs and a walk out the door. Last words last night - divorce...
that should make me happy, right? I've been sitting here trying to figure a way out... here it is, right? Still, where to go? But we've said these things so many times before. I've thought it, she's said it. I've made the effort - even wrote up the papers once... tore 'em up, threw them away. Always hoping. Always praying...
But this time...
I'm all packed and ready.
I've had enough. I said I wanted out, didn't I?
I should be happy, shouldn't I?
If she wants out of it too, then way to go, huh?
So, why do I feel so lost? :sad6:
No talk this morning. No slamming doors. No good morning... just music upstairs and a walk out the door. Last words last night - divorce...
that should make me happy, right? I've been sitting here trying to figure a way out... here it is, right? Still, where to go? But we've said these things so many times before. I've thought it, she's said it. I've made the effort - even wrote up the papers once... tore 'em up, threw them away. Always hoping. Always praying...
But this time...
I'm all packed and ready.
I've had enough. I said I wanted out, didn't I?
I should be happy, shouldn't I?
If she wants out of it too, then way to go, huh?
So, why do I feel so lost? :sad6:
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Birthplace of Rock & Roll, Home of the Blues
Posts: 233
It's hard either way....
Leaving is hard.
Staying is hard.
We all have our own choices to make.
No matter what, there are times that we feel lost, but if we look hard enough we'll see the path we are meant to take. :elephant
No matter what, it's hard. :sigh:
So....
Be kind to yourself! You are a good person and you deserve it.
Staying is hard.
We all have our own choices to make.
No matter what, there are times that we feel lost, but if we look hard enough we'll see the path we are meant to take. :elephant
No matter what, it's hard. :sigh:
So....
Be kind to yourself! You are a good person and you deserve it.
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