mnrn

Hello everyone!

I have lurked around here on & off for 7 years!! I am finally ready to be a part of this wonderful group of people and actively look for support and friendship among people who are struggling like I am.

I am a productive, usually happy, and reasonably intelligent person (i think). I am absolutely baffled by how I can not reason myself out of the trap I find myself in. If I am not drinking I am looking forward to the time when I can drink. If I am drinking I am disappointed with myself & know I will be sorry in the morning. Every morning I swear I will not drink later but I always do. I obviously have a drinking problem and would like to see it disappear forever. How can a substance that is basically poisoning me be so tempting & hard to quit using??

Anyway - hardly an original position to find myself in. I know many of you have far worse circumstances and challenges than I do and I am in awe of the courage and strength I read about here daily.

I have never drank during the day. It is always the end of the day that is my trigger time. My goal is to post here everyday around suppertime. Maybe this will help me stay alcohol free and get through the evening. Welcome to all who would like to join me!

Anna

Ah yes, trigger time. For me, it was a bit later than that, just as I finished dinner. It was really tough. I started heading out the door at that time and walking, a lot. It helped in so many ways on so many levels. I think changing your routine is the way to beat trigger time.

TigerLili

Ah yes, Trigger O'Clock.

I started getting up earlier and going to bed earlier. It helped to not have a long, tired evening to fill in.

HeartsAfire

How funny. Was just coming on to post something similar.

Got the after-work trigger going this evening too. Had to fight off my AV the whole way home from work. I'm cooking pasta tonight & she had the best idea - a bottle (or 2) of my favorite wine to go with it! She has the worst ideas by the way & I told her as much.

I made it home (sans wine) and made myself a sparkling Arnold Palmer instead. Headed on over to the 24 hr thread to order up a round of sobriety.

We can fight this battle and win, mnrn! Glad to be here fighting with you!

Jill23

Your story is mine too, mnrn! I know other people are in worse places than I, but alcoholism is alcoholism whether you drink at 8am or 5pm. I can't control my drinking once I start. Thank you to every one on here for sharing their stories

tootsl1

Mnrn, yup, it's five o'clock somewhere! Been there, done that, finally gave away to he teeshirt. You will get plenty of support here and if you want things to change, you can make it happen. I did.

Joshua14

This sounds like good advice, a change in routine...

Bilr44

I found that after having ate a hearty meal I had no cravings at all. It does take time and a lot of willpower early on but you can do it. Just break the cycle and take care of yourself. Someone said, go to bed earlier if you need to. Our bodies, after putting it through that torture, definitely need the extra rest.

silentrun

I used to get that one too. 7pm time to drink. Just make it past the liquor store safely home. Is the mn for Minnesota? If so the cravings will probably end by 10pm, the time the liquor store closes.

mnrn

Sparkling Arnold Palmer?? What is that exactly? Please share.

I wish I could go for a walk after dinner right now. I live in MN & long cold dark nights are a perfect magnet for drinking in my opinion. In the spring/summer/fall I love being outside & walking/gardening/whatever! I am just too big of a wimp to walk outside in the ice & cold (10 degrees right now) after dinner.

I know I need to change my routine somehow but haven't figured that out yet. Has anyone read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg? It is an interesting book that describes how a habit is formed and how to change a destructive one. Basically, it is deceptively very simple. A habit basically consists of a "cue - routine - reward". If you want to change a habit you just change one of those variables. Sounds simple but as I have found is not so easy. For instance, the end of the workday is my cue (which I can't change), my desired reward is relaxation (which I don't want to change), my routine is drinking wine for the desired reward. So, according to this author's theory if I change the routine my dependence on alcohol will disappear! The problem is I haven't found anything to rival the wonderful feeling of relaxation and frankly numbness that alcohol brings. I know meditation/exercise/yoga will probably approximate that feeling but I am an inpatient/lazy person and having a drink seems so much easier than any of those options.

I am looking forward to getting to know people who understand what I am talking about. I am married to a man who doesn't have any addictive tendencies - he actually turned down pot & drugs in the 70's as a teenager!! Drank a bit but then quit when he was 19 (!) because it made him impulsive and he was tired of getting in fistfights. Really? What kind of person does that at 19?? Anyway - very fortunate to be married to a supportive, sober man. Siblings do not have the addictive gene I was born with. Friends have no problems that I know of. I desperately need screwed up addictive friends!!

mnrn

HeartsAfire -

"She knew this transition was not about becoming someone better, but about finally allowing herself to become who she'd always been."

Love it!!

mnrn

silentrun -

Yes - I unfortunately live in MN! Your comment made me chuckle - cravings end at 10 pm and every Sunday! :-))

silentrun

My husband also is totally addictive free. He did all the drugs, drinking and party as a teenager and then just outgrew it. I was the goodie 2 shoes. It helps not having it in the house or having a partner that might encourage you.

habsfan18

Very good idea!! I think I might do the same thing for friday nights. I used to start drinking around 9pm on most friday nights until I pass out... Writing on here every friday nights might help! Thanks for the idea mnrn!

HeartsAfire

An Arnold Palmer is part iced tea & part lemonade. Arizona Tea makes it but I prefer mixing my own concoction. I use Lipton diet green citrus tea & add a little crystal light lemonade mix, a little crystal light peach tea mix & a splash or 2 of sparkling water. It hits the spot, lemme tell you! It's rich, refreshing & bubbly all at the same time.

Oceanlady

Hit 5months last week..I can truthfully say the 4pm craving seems to have subsided..I only drank from 4 to 6 pm,,,before dinner..but the clock and 4 have been very difficult to overcome..my drink of choice right now is light cranberry lemonade on the rocks..I am enjoying filling a glass full and having another if I like...also I can drink it as fast as I want!

mnrn

Well - got through another dinner hour without drinking. So far. Actually, once I have eaten the urge seems to pass because I know drinking on a full stomach won't give me the buzz I am looking for like drinking on an empty one. :-)

I so much miss being able to be outside right now. It was 3 degrees on the way home from work & I don't even want to stop at the grocery store on the way home because then I have to get out & in the car & be cold again. All I want to do is get home & hunker in for the night. I actually went to a greenhouse yesterday just to be in the humidity and around green, growing things. Walked out poorer but with some beautiful green houseplants.

Anyone else here live in a miserably cold winter climate? I love spring/summer/fall here and all my family/friends/history are here in MN but winter is sure way too long! I am looking forward to being a snowbird when I retire which is still at least 10 years away.

I know I drink more in the winter because I am cooped up & get bored. I also know millions of people are in the same boat as I am & don't drink at all to cope with the weather so that is not a good excuse at all!

mnrn

Heartsafire - the Arnold Palmer drink sounds good - I will try it & thanks for sharing!

Oceanlady

10 inches of snow today! Yes, I live in New England ! I feel a little guilty to say I like winter,but March 2rd I become a snowbird for 6 weeks! I don't mind jan-feb at all, but hate march..still some winter then mud, dreary ,dull and boring

Jill23

I made it thru also. I feel really accomplished! I have not made it 3 days in over a year. Although my sweet tooth is nearly unbearable