View Poll Results: reasons for quitting
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 78. You may not vote on this poll
new to this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 13
new to this
My bf of 15 yrs, best friend,father to my kids,is addicted to h....im by his side through this,im worried,scared...he was snorting it, now smoking it. Whats next. How do i help him. Can i help him? I love him. Dear god please help us. Hear my prayers. What do i do?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi bluetangerine 
does your bf want to quit?
Unfortunately until he wants to quit, I believe there's not a lot anyone else can do.
There is a lot you can do to find support for your self tho - you'll find a lot of understanding encouragement and support here, and in our Family and Friends forums too
welcome
D
does your bf want to quit?
Unfortunately until he wants to quit, I believe there's not a lot anyone else can do.
There is a lot you can do to find support for your self tho - you'll find a lot of understanding encouragement and support here, and in our Family and Friends forums too
welcome
D
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
bluetangerine, I'm sorry that you're going through this. He has to want this in order for it to work. Try talking with him about it and telling him how you feel. I wish you the best of luck and hope that he listens.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome Bluetangerine. Sadly, unless he wants to quit he will continue to use, no matter what you do or do not do. That's the sad thing about having an addicted loved one. My son is lost in his addiction and for years and years I tried to save/scare/manipulate/beg/help him and in the end it only made me as sick as he was. If love could save an addict, not one of us would be here.
What helped me was learning about addiction and codependency (which was my side of the disease) and to find meetings that helped me regain my balance and learn to live my life in a healthy way...no matter how my son chose to live his.
I post on the Family and Friends forums and there are many others there who have been where you are and who would love to welcome you too. Maybe take a read down there and say hello.
I am glad you found us and hope you find some comfort and hope here...hope for yourself as well as your loved one.
Hugs
What helped me was learning about addiction and codependency (which was my side of the disease) and to find meetings that helped me regain my balance and learn to live my life in a healthy way...no matter how my son chose to live his.
I post on the Family and Friends forums and there are many others there who have been where you are and who would love to welcome you too. Maybe take a read down there and say hello.
I am glad you found us and hope you find some comfort and hope here...hope for yourself as well as your loved one.
Hugs
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
You might want to post your questions in our friends and family forum for more insight from others in your position. Give it a look.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You might want to post your questions in our friends and family forum for more insight from others in your position. Give it a look.Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
Its sad news but it is all over the news right now. Famous guy.
The addiction monster takes alot of people.
Unless they seek help. They need to take that first step.
They need to ask.
You cant do it for them.
The addiction monster takes alot of people.
Unless they seek help. They need to take that first step.
They need to ask.
You cant do it for them.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Are you able to support yourself and your kids? How old are they? Are they aware of what their dad is doing?
I'm not passing moral judgement but, any drug activity done in your house and having it found out by the law could lead to your children being taken away. That is a remote possibility . This isn't a healthy environment for kids to be exposed to.
I'm not passing moral judgement but, any drug activity done in your house and having it found out by the law could lead to your children being taken away. That is a remote possibility . This isn't a healthy environment for kids to be exposed to.
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Welcome to SR bluetangerine. As others have said, your bf needs to want to stop for himself. All you can do in the meantime is look after yourself as best you can. Have you considered going to Nar-Anon meetings to get support for yourself?
Last edited by Louise82; 02-05-2014 at 01:12 AM. Reason: made a mistake
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Poll Options
reasons for quitting
yourself
soulmate
kids
family
couldn't vote because too many ((good options)) were left out
such as
all of the above ------------------- this would have been a great one
God
job
health
in trouble with the law
Mountainman
reasons for quitting
yourself
soulmate
kids
family
couldn't vote because too many ((good options)) were left out
such as
all of the above ------------------- this would have been a great one
God
job
health
in trouble with the law
Mountainman
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 13
So i thought by him going to the methadone clinic,he was attempting to quit h. But i keep seeing straws,his nodding off,and uppity next minute,and leaving on misc errands,gone till past midnight,now in garage at 4 somrthing in mornng peeking out through garage door window standing on chair swearing he heard someone,,,,,,..is this sign of recovery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 13
His uncles ...are coming from different states...for funeral servicrs this saturday....tospread his fathets ash...a very nice ceremony planned......am i wrong to not say a word to his family about his h binge. ...or would i be bad person to him to tell his family.....they probably will just turn the other way?... or i dont know....anyone got exposed before??.. i maybe shouldnt because we r living together w two babies,dont want to cause friction....do i let him be an addict.....or expose him..because im concerned for his life.....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
As others have suggested I highly encourage you to check out the friends and family forum and consider finding support for you.
My ex-husband was a sex addict so I understand completely the crazy-making that comes with trying to control and/or figure out the addict and his every move. There is help out there for you and your children regardless of what your husband is or isn't doing. Please consider finding it - if not for you then for your babies.
My ex-husband was a sex addict so I understand completely the crazy-making that comes with trying to control and/or figure out the addict and his every move. There is help out there for you and your children regardless of what your husband is or isn't doing. Please consider finding it - if not for you then for your babies.
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