Starting to Worry
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: vinton, la
Posts: 38
Starting to Worry
This week I go to bankrupcy court. I'm worried to death. I hate that we live their consequences. My A is doing everything he is suppose to be doing right now for his recovery. We even talked this weekend about how we can work it out so that I can go to Alanon and my kids can go to Alateen (we only have one car). He even wants to go to some Alanon meetings with me and would like us to go to some AA meetings with him. I am just worried about our future. I know worrying wont help but cant seem to help it. I heard that bankrupcy wasnt so bad but I figure with the way things happen for my family it will be bad for us. Our trustee sent a horrible letter wanting a detailed account of everything we own so they can determine if the creditors should take it. After last year when he took so much of our stuff to pawn to get drug money...I'm a little bit bitter about other people taking what I have worked so hard to rebuild. I don't know what my kids are going to think if this happens. I know I dont know any of this for a fact...maybe old habits die hard. I have always thought the worst so that if anything happened good I would be suprised and happy and if something bad happened I was prepared. Has anyone else filed bankrupcy b/c of the Consequences the A created and had a good outcome?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hi Heartbroke.
I never filed bankruptcy. I had to get a credit counselor though. They were enormously helpful and I found that nobody really wanted to grind me into the ground and take the last morsel of food from my mouth. They wanted their money and wanted to feel secure about how and when they were going to get it. I know it's hard not to worry, but you will live through this and you will come out okay on the other side.
Hugs,
Smoke
I never filed bankruptcy. I had to get a credit counselor though. They were enormously helpful and I found that nobody really wanted to grind me into the ground and take the last morsel of food from my mouth. They wanted their money and wanted to feel secure about how and when they were going to get it. I know it's hard not to worry, but you will live through this and you will come out okay on the other side.
Hugs,
Smoke
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
It's not so bad. It just sounds like it. And they will try to make you feel bad about it to drain as much money from you as they can. We fortunately haven't had to, but don't worry, this is one of the things we assist with in our office - getting people out of situations such as yours, and it always sound worse than it is. 
You will have to list all your assets, which IS hard and where your money went and is going, which is a headache. But they won't take eveything if you have good counsel.
You will have time to rebuild your life (7-10 years) and even during that time you will be able to make money and fix your credit. Which is it? Chap 11 or 13? With one you're better off as it won't wipe you out and allow you to reestablish your credit while you rebuild your lives.
Make sure you have a good attorney who knows bankruptcy. It could save you lots of money, and your ass! :35:
You will have to list all your assets, which IS hard and where your money went and is going, which is a headache. But they won't take eveything if you have good counsel.
You will have time to rebuild your life (7-10 years) and even during that time you will be able to make money and fix your credit. Which is it? Chap 11 or 13? With one you're better off as it won't wipe you out and allow you to reestablish your credit while you rebuild your lives.
Make sure you have a good attorney who knows bankruptcy. It could save you lots of money, and your ass! :35:
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Titusville, FL
Posts: 82
Heartbroke,
I had to file Chapter 13 over three years ago because of this disease and what's it's done to my family. Of course I was the ultimate enabler so I contributed to my situation as well. It's very emarassing for me because I make very good money, college degree, etc. and should know better. But it is what it is. I pay my monthly trustee payment and will someday get my credit back.
But my AH is not sober, we are separated and I am miserable with or without him. At least you have something to be thankful for, yours is making an effort. Keep those good thoughts with you. Bankruptcy will not end life for you. You still eat, still have a roof over your head.
My best wishes to you and your family,
Lex
I had to file Chapter 13 over three years ago because of this disease and what's it's done to my family. Of course I was the ultimate enabler so I contributed to my situation as well. It's very emarassing for me because I make very good money, college degree, etc. and should know better. But it is what it is. I pay my monthly trustee payment and will someday get my credit back.
But my AH is not sober, we are separated and I am miserable with or without him. At least you have something to be thankful for, yours is making an effort. Keep those good thoughts with you. Bankruptcy will not end life for you. You still eat, still have a roof over your head.
My best wishes to you and your family,
Lex
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: vinton, la
Posts: 38
Filed Chapter 7
I filed chapter 7. I just called my lawyer. They told me the letter was standard and it always scares the people who get it. I feel a little better. Thank you for all your posts. I also have a college degree and a good job. It is very humilitating to have to file bankrupcy. I feel like such a failure. I wanted so much more for my children. Thank you for all your replys.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
Baby, every millionaire in the world, has filed bankruptcy... at least twice.
Don't sweat it. You'll recover. It just seem bad because it is embarassing right now. But life will continue. And praise the Lord, if they're not drinking anymore!
Don't sweat it. You'll recover. It just seem bad because it is embarassing right now. But life will continue. And praise the Lord, if they're not drinking anymore!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ayer's Cliff, Quebec
Posts: 803
Hi,
I had to file bankruptcy because of my own consequences from my drinking. I t wasn't that bad, more of a pain in the butt than anything. But I had to do it otherwise I would have lost my house.
Ngaire
I had to file bankruptcy because of my own consequences from my drinking. I t wasn't that bad, more of a pain in the butt than anything. But I had to do it otherwise I would have lost my house.
Ngaire
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