patricia68

I started drinking again a little before the Holidays. I've been drinking rum, wine, beer non stop for 6 weeks...
I am not going to go into details, we all know how it goes...
I am exhausted, constantly ill, ashamed, and broke...
For the past week I've been cutting down, mostly because I am scared of seizures and stuff if I quit drinking cold turkey.
I even managed to stay sober for 24 hours, twice.
But I can't seem to stop completely.
I miss being sober, and at the same time I am terrified of never having another drink. Or maybe I am terrified of failing again?
Please pray, send me good vibes, whatever might help. I need it.
Thank you!

Oldselfagain

We're glad you're back Patricia

least

I suggest you ask your doctor for help in getting safely thru w/d. Do you have any support in real life? A trusted friend or family member? Support is so crucial to recovery.

patricia68

No support at all. Nobody knows I have a drinking problem. SR is my only support

Dee74

I'm glad you're back too Patricia
I was terrified of both things but I knew that the way to go was forward...I already knew where drinking led me.

maybe. I was scared of that too....but I realised all I ever had to do was to stay sober today - that seemed achievable to me...and it was

you can do this Patricia

D

StayStrong33

Praying for you Patricia! I'm new here and early in sobriety so I don't know much. Keep your head up!

Olive1

Hi Patricia,

I had to take the 'never drink again' off the table. It upset me too much to think that I could never, ever drink again. Never seemed a long time.

Once I stopped worrying about the never again, I just committed to today. Just today. I will not drink today.

After a couple of years, I still thought perhaps I would have a drink on my
80th birthday....just for grins.

Now that I have a few more years I don't even think about the never.
I don't drink. That is who I am now.

Baby steps and deep breaths.
You can do it.

milly4me

I'm new here...but I sure get the impression no one around here will shame you if you falter on your soberity journey. So take that fear out of your mind. Some times having a support system that will catch you if you fall makes all the difference. It makes you not afraid the fly. Kwim?

KateL

Stick around then Patricia. You can do this xxxx

Willowgrace326

Welcome back Patricia! I too started back drinking at the holidays (after 3 months) and that progressively led back to drinking everyday...but I'm now on day 6 and refuse to look back...

You can do it. I can do it. I believe in us both! I will keep you in my prayers...Hang in there!

patricia68

Thank you guys...what would I do without this forum?!
I feel much better right now.
I didn't open that second beer, I came here instead. I am so glad I did.
It's the small victories that matter right?
Just for today. Just for tonight. I think I can do this

Shamrocks

The small victories CERTAINLY matter. You can do this!

neferkamichael

Patricia68, back, glad you are here. My biggest weapon against cravings is to read post here on SR with "intention", that is to say I pay attention to what's in them. This is what you said Patricia,

I felt exactly the way you do, however, 3 years 6 months sober, all the terror, fear, anxiety, and junk has gone away with time. I honestly believe if you just suffer through it all for some period of time, ever how long that is, all the problems concerning drinking will go away. Rootin for ya.