90 days and kitten happened somewhere in there
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 304
90 days and kitten happened somewhere in there
I'm at 90 days today.
It's been a rollercoaster, but the most amazing thing I have learned is that I have more strength in me than I thought I did.
I've also learned that I can give the microphone to the voice in my brain that encourages me and supports. I also have control over the mute button when the AV photobombs and swipes the mic back. With practice and a little hard work, you can produce your own show.
I'm still working through the issues that caused me to pick up drinking in the first place, but that clearly is a life journey, not something that is just "fixed". I think I always knew that, but I acknowledge that there was a point in my life where I didn't have the internal resources to face up to the work it takes me to just feel reasonably happy and safe like normal people. So I drank until my alcoholic switch flicked on. And you know what, I forgive myself for that and let it go. And I choose to be grateful that I was able to break the alcoholic cycle before it got too bad.
I have profound respect, compassion, and pray daily for people who are battling addictions, especially alcohol.
Also (speaking of prayer) - for those that cringe at the idea of a higher power, I encourage you to let your guard down a little. Me as an example, I am not religious and there is no face to my higher power, but I am deeply spiritual. I accept that the thoughts, feelings, experiences, and perceptions of human beings - especially my own - are a part of the world, but not the world itself. This means we can give our battered, overburdened egos a break. The sun goes up and down whether we are on the planet or not, or whether or not we have an opinions about it. Spiritually is "less me" and "more we". And that's where prayer comes in. An honest wish for someone to have a better life is a prayer. Compassion is a prayer. Pray more in this way. When I start feeling a little sorry that I cant drink, I remember that there are many others out there than can't, and I have compassion for them. And I am one of them.
And oh yeah, this happened around day 80:
It's been a rollercoaster, but the most amazing thing I have learned is that I have more strength in me than I thought I did.
I've also learned that I can give the microphone to the voice in my brain that encourages me and supports. I also have control over the mute button when the AV photobombs and swipes the mic back. With practice and a little hard work, you can produce your own show.
I'm still working through the issues that caused me to pick up drinking in the first place, but that clearly is a life journey, not something that is just "fixed". I think I always knew that, but I acknowledge that there was a point in my life where I didn't have the internal resources to face up to the work it takes me to just feel reasonably happy and safe like normal people. So I drank until my alcoholic switch flicked on. And you know what, I forgive myself for that and let it go. And I choose to be grateful that I was able to break the alcoholic cycle before it got too bad.
I have profound respect, compassion, and pray daily for people who are battling addictions, especially alcohol.
Also (speaking of prayer) - for those that cringe at the idea of a higher power, I encourage you to let your guard down a little. Me as an example, I am not religious and there is no face to my higher power, but I am deeply spiritual. I accept that the thoughts, feelings, experiences, and perceptions of human beings - especially my own - are a part of the world, but not the world itself. This means we can give our battered, overburdened egos a break. The sun goes up and down whether we are on the planet or not, or whether or not we have an opinions about it. Spiritually is "less me" and "more we". And that's where prayer comes in. An honest wish for someone to have a better life is a prayer. Compassion is a prayer. Pray more in this way. When I start feeling a little sorry that I cant drink, I remember that there are many others out there than can't, and I have compassion for them. And I am one of them.
And oh yeah, this happened around day 80:
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Your kitten is so beautiful. My cats have helped me so much with my recovery.
Like you, I am very spiritual, but not religious. My recovery helped me to be able to let go of control and accept that it's not all about me.
Like you, I am very spiritual, but not religious. My recovery helped me to be able to let go of control and accept that it's not all about me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 304
Thanks everyone! I rescued this little muffin from our local shelter. I named her gris gris (gree gree), which is gray in French, and is also the ****** term for magic charm. Right now she is in full kitten mode and tearing around my house!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Homestead Florida
Posts: 297
Thankfully there are people like you who rescue. A stray here where I live is ready to have kittens yet again. Last time my husband and I drove over an hour to take 2 of her torties to the only nokill around the area. The other black one wasn't accepted so he lives where we store our maintenance shed, when he isn't exploring. Even the guests love him, and get a huge kick out of him when he "plays" shuffleboard. We can't catch his Mother for she is hip to the trap, and the process will be repeated. People drop off animals all the time here, and we do our best to get them neutered and find homes. My two are rescues.
We can't catch his Mother for she is hip to the trap, and the process will be repeated. People drop off animals all the time here, and we do our best to get them neutered and find homes. My two are rescues.
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