mydruggie

hello fellow addicts. my name is adrian.

i love to smoke weed above all else. give me weed and i am content. the days all feel the same.
i have no job. diagnosed with schizophrenia 2 years ago, however, i am high functioning and someone you would never think had a mental illness. my physical appearance is my biggest advantage and sometimes disadvantage.

ive been smoking for about 3 years now, and have had stretches of 5-3-1 month clean, but never more. it feels like an endless cycle and sometimes i have the will power to restrain and other times i don't. my first few hrs without the drug and i already can't sleep.

i know the pros and cons, what the drug does to me, which ultimately makes things worse, but its something about sobriety that bothers me... :/


really need the higher power to remove my defects of character.


thanks guys.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR mydruggie

Are you on any medication for your schizophrenia or receiving any other therapy? It would be a good idea to have an honest chat with your doctor about what you're doing to see what support is available to you.

I think something about sobtiety bothered all of us, at first anyway. It can be tough for a while but it is so worth it. Glad you are here x

mydruggie

thanks for the reply.

i visit my psych doctor at least bi-weekly. however, i do not take medication, because i hate what the anti psychotics do to me. and of course they don't mix with the weed very well.

so i've got a dual diagnosis. schiz and serious addict. its just my personality.

Dee74

Hi Adrian

welcome to SR

I smoked for 30 years, mostly daily. It wasn't pleasant to give up, but not too onerous.

The biggest problem was staying off it - I had to make some pretty big changes to my life, but it was worth it, I think.

I know you'll find support here.

D

SunnySideUp13

Welcome mydruggie, glad you are here!

least

Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support here.

lisatrying

Welcome, I have just joined up also

I don't like seeing you say you want your character defects removed. You wouldn't be human if you were perfect, no one else is perfect.

My friend has the same diagnosis and I know the medications are pretty awful, but can you talk to your doctor and try to get as low a dose as possible to minimize the side effects?

We are both doing a good thing by posting here. Good luck

mydruggie

hi lisatrying, its the NA way. i don't want to be perfect. i just don't want to smoke weed anymore.

and low doses do nothing for me. almost anything in my own mind i can handle.