Coolidgeeh

I just registered for this site and am a spouse of an alcoholic. My wife has had a drinking problem for a while now and it has been worsening over time. She has been verbally abusive to me and our children and recently physically harmed me when I tried to remove our children from her presence while intoxicated. She has recently asked for a separation and for me to move out. I do not feel comfortable leaving her with the kids because of her drinking and when I ask her about her terms for separation she cannot come up with any. She has given up on our marriage and will not admit there is an alcohol problem. Just today I found an empty beer bottle and wine glass hidden under the sink in the bathroom. How should I act in this situation? Nagging and yelling has gotten me nowhere. I want our marriage to work and her drinking to be helped. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions.

Skye2

to SR. Have you found the 'friends and family' section? You might find more help there, but please keep posting here too.

I can understand your worries - I've been on both sides of things - please think of your children - they are the innocents in all of this. Sadly, until your wife realises she has a problem and actually WANTS to do something about it - well you can't stop her

You sound like a lovely caring person - I guess you've tried talking to her when she's sober? Calmly I mean?

Stay with us - and if you have problems finding the 'friends and family' - someone will post link to guide you there

Skye2

Here's the link to 'friends and family' - there is also Al Anon offline

The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

hopeful4

I am sorry to say, until she wants that help for herself she won't get it. Sounds like she has made the decision. You are correct, don't leave your kids w/her, their safety has to be #1.

I second going over to the Friends and Family forum...great help and support there. There are stickies at the top of those pages to read, they will give you lots of info.

Take care of you and your children!

least

Welcome to the family. I agree. Don't leave the kids with your wife. If anyone should move out, it should be her. I'd see a lawyer to be sure of what you're doing.

You'll find lots of support here, and also in the friends and family forum.

Coolidgeeh

Thanks for the responses. I have spoken with a lawyer who has gone over my options. I am not ready to take the kids and leave yet, but I fear that's what it will take to get her to realize there is a problem. I am going to try alanon next week. Should I get rid of the alcohol in my house? Should I still socialize with her and our friends if she is drinking? I don't know what I should be doing.

least

You can get rid of the alcohol, but she may find a way to get more. Alcoholics do not like being told what to do. If socializing with her puts you in a stressful spot, then don't do it and tell her why you're not. It's good you're seeing a lawyer. AlAnon should be a big help also.

Skye2

THIS is exactly what I wanted to say but didn't feel able - thanks Least!! Xx

Skye2

I really don't feel qualified to advise on this but please keep posting and something will 'ring true' at some point and you'll know what to do.
PLEASE protect your children - they are depending on you Xx