jessie65

Bad territory to be in, right?

I'm 43 days sober today and I guess I'm just thinking back to those early days (about 10 years ago) when I started drinking. I'll. never forget how much I loved it. The euphoria was like WOW! This is great! All of a sudden it was like I discovered a way to cope, to socialize, to have fun in a crowd, to relax. It was like the inner me came out, because all my life I was painfully shy. I had few friends, and basically no social life.
Sad thing is, alcoholism is in my family. I knew I was heading down a destructive path with that first drink. I still remember saying to my husband as I held up a drink (clear as day, I actually said this that night) 'The path to hell!'
And it was. There are moments, days, weeks, in my life now that I don't Want to remember.

I wish that it didn't get out of hand, I still wish I could enjoy those couple drinks occasionally. I hate being an alcoholic.
No thoughts of drinking, just feel sad when I think back...

MrBen

All addictions have high points, otherwise nobody would do it. But the bad far outweighs the good, so you sacrifice those times for a better life overall.

Nonsensical

You're thinking back too far.

Think back to 44 days ago.

IOAA2

Hi. Fairly early on It was suggested to not romanticize my past drinking as it leads to a very slippery slope. I needed to remember that alcohol is cunning, baffling and very powerful. As an example take a look at all the relapses posted here daily. I needed to concentrate on how my life was going near the end of my drinking and it never improved on a day to day basis but always got worse. It's my remember when.

BE WELL

jessie65

Thank-you all. I do remember the end very clearly also, my whole reason for getting & staying sober.
I just wish I felt better mentally & physically. I guess I was expecting a miracle. I eat healthy, exercise, and I'm even sleeping good, but I feel 20 years older than I am some days. I guess alcohol was an instant pick-me-up on rough days. Ugh...
I won't drink.

CAPTAINZING2000

At first, drinking was fun. Later on, drinking was fun with trouble. At the very last of my drinking it was no longer fun and it was mostly trouble.
Make no mistake about it, drinking continues to get worse and never better.
Every time out at the end of our drinking, we continue to think it will be fun again with limited success .

Dee74

Hi Jessie

yeah I had to accept that however good some of the early times were, I drank way those - 2 decades past.

You can't go back to something that doesn't exist anymore...

D

ppl

Stop reminiscing.

doggonecarl

Dwelling on the past is a futile waste of time...especially for the alcoholic, as our "dwelling" is so selective.

Forty three days is awesome. Focus on tommorrow and day 44; it's more productive.