Can feel the explosion coming
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: gold coast
Posts: 101
Can feel the explosion coming
So ah hasnt had a drink for 5 days and it has been stressful due to other reasons. I know hes going to explode tommorrow. Will probably drink as it is payday too. Can smell the anger brewing either way. Just venting
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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Originally Posted by Seren 
Hello dessy,
So what plans do YOU have for tomorrow? Can you make it to the library or your favorite coffee shop? Remember, you don't have to be around when the implosion happens!
So what plans do YOU have for tomorrow? Can you make it to the library or your favorite coffee shop? Remember, you don't have to be around when the implosion happens!
So what are you going to do for you?
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: gold coast
Posts: 101
It wont implode till night time so the day is full of appointments and kids at school. No where to go at night but hide in the kids playroom snd play games with the 5 yr old.so tonight it is my fault the eldest who is 24 wont txt him and i should be able to make her. Yep i can control her.she wont txt him cause he was rude to her though she does give him alot of verbal abuse herself as she is so angry with him. I cant blame her for not wanting to talk too him
Last edited by dessy; 01-30-2014 at 04:10 AM. Reason: Spelling
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Dessy, I am sorry. What you can do for you is to put a plan in place. Set small goals to work towards independence from him. If he gets dangerous have him removed from your home. Put a plan in place of how you can get him out of your home when he acts this way.
It won't happen over night but if you get help and work baby steps it can happen.
Hugs.
It won't happen over night but if you get help and work baby steps it can happen.
Hugs.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
We certainly both know you have zero control or influence over your adult daughter's relationship with her father. Sounds to me, like some of his life choices are beginning to catch up with him.
Your husband's unrealistic expectation, that you , can somehow micromanage their troubled relationship is nuts. You didn't cause this, he did. I would simply avoid that topic of conversation with him.
I hope you can find the strength to detach from his nonsense.
I can remember, being all comfy, reading my book, XA is on repeat with his blah, blah, blah, and I just kept on reading my book, until he wore himself out and passed out in the chair.
And of course it was the same story in the morning, "I only had two beers last night" umm , bullsh*t, you LIAR. BUT it was empowering to know, I did not HAVE to engage.
Choice is a very powerful tool, use it to your advantage, my friend.
Your husband's unrealistic expectation, that you , can somehow micromanage their troubled relationship is nuts. You didn't cause this, he did. I would simply avoid that topic of conversation with him.
I hope you can find the strength to detach from his nonsense.
I can remember, being all comfy, reading my book, XA is on repeat with his blah, blah, blah, and I just kept on reading my book, until he wore himself out and passed out in the chair.
And of course it was the same story in the morning, "I only had two beers last night" umm , bullsh*t, you LIAR. BUT it was empowering to know, I did not HAVE to engage.
Choice is a very powerful tool, use it to your advantage, my friend.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
So what do we do when we feel their rage building?
First a poker face. Don't let him see that he gets to you.
Honestly it would be better to say it outright--I see your rage building, let's talk, but if you know he's a brick wall and there's no pounding your through it, or he's going to blow just from bringing it up, then you have to stay silent.
If anybody has a way to break through the brick wall please share...
Next how can we not have such a strong reaction to their rage building?
I think it might help you to remember just who's turf that house is most of the time. You run that house, take care of the little one, see that those basic needs are met for everybody like clean clothes or a meal.
So walk around like it's your turf...with confidence...because it is your turf.
You're the woman of your house. You run it in many ways. Don't forget that.
You don't have to go as far as inviting a stand off of who has more power, but you sure can confidently stand there like you belong there because you do! And you don't have to quiver with fear over his current mood.
Show just a little confidence in who you are. You have a right to be there, and to feel good in your home.
First a poker face. Don't let him see that he gets to you.
Honestly it would be better to say it outright--I see your rage building, let's talk, but if you know he's a brick wall and there's no pounding your through it, or he's going to blow just from bringing it up, then you have to stay silent.
If anybody has a way to break through the brick wall please share...
Next how can we not have such a strong reaction to their rage building?
I think it might help you to remember just who's turf that house is most of the time. You run that house, take care of the little one, see that those basic needs are met for everybody like clean clothes or a meal.
So walk around like it's your turf...with confidence...because it is your turf.
You're the woman of your house. You run it in many ways. Don't forget that.
You don't have to go as far as inviting a stand off of who has more power, but you sure can confidently stand there like you belong there because you do! And you don't have to quiver with fear over his current mood.
Show just a little confidence in who you are. You have a right to be there, and to feel good in your home.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: gold coast
Posts: 101
Originally Posted by changeneeded
dessy,
I would love to "talk to you" if possible, about your 24 year old. I have a 18 stb 19 that is in the same shoes as yours. They both really bring out the "co" in me. Could I pm you?
I would love to "talk to you" if possible, about your 24 year old. I have a 18 stb 19 that is in the same shoes as yours. They both really bring out the "co" in me. Could I pm you?
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