Thank you previous posters
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 94
Thank you previous posters
Folks
I'd like to thank you all - whatever your experience or story on here - for helping in so many ways to firstly understand that my DH was a high functioning alcoholic - with most of the typical behaviours you folks have noted in your posts. I had been putting up with verbal abuse and unpredictable behaviour for 6 years at least, with intermittent violence - smashing property, being cruel to the dogs, secretive, deceitful, silent, remorseless,denigrating ..... Every second week there was a blow-up. Not as much as some of you folks experience but never a word spoken, discussion, apology, regret. .... Just complete silence. I hadn't put 2 + 2 together until I found this site and read your posts. I have been doing other reading and slowly opening up to friends in the past three moths after years of covering up and pretending our home life is good. The courage you anonymous folks have given me to do this has made all the difference to me being able to come to a decision about what to do. So I walked out one week ago today exactly. Left at 6.00am in the morning with the 2 dogs as if I was going to work, a few bin bags full of clothes and little else. I am lucky, I am financially independent, and can do that. But it is the courage and insight of you all out there that have made this possible. So thank you, wherever you are, I am now one week in to an unfurnished rented house, DH has no address and I have had the first really good nights' sleep in months.
Thanks to you all wherever you are, and all the best
I'd like to thank you all - whatever your experience or story on here - for helping in so many ways to firstly understand that my DH was a high functioning alcoholic - with most of the typical behaviours you folks have noted in your posts. I had been putting up with verbal abuse and unpredictable behaviour for 6 years at least, with intermittent violence - smashing property, being cruel to the dogs, secretive, deceitful, silent, remorseless,denigrating ..... Every second week there was a blow-up. Not as much as some of you folks experience but never a word spoken, discussion, apology, regret. .... Just complete silence. I hadn't put 2 + 2 together until I found this site and read your posts. I have been doing other reading and slowly opening up to friends in the past three moths after years of covering up and pretending our home life is good. The courage you anonymous folks have given me to do this has made all the difference to me being able to come to a decision about what to do. So I walked out one week ago today exactly. Left at 6.00am in the morning with the 2 dogs as if I was going to work, a few bin bags full of clothes and little else. I am lucky, I am financially independent, and can do that. But it is the courage and insight of you all out there that have made this possible. So thank you, wherever you are, I am now one week in to an unfurnished rented house, DH has no address and I have had the first really good nights' sleep in months.
Thanks to you all wherever you are, and all the best
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 94
Update 3 weeks on .....
I was reading a couple of new threads from folks just left/ended relationships, and about the pain/anxiety and uncertain way of handling contact and the inevitable drunken texts, etc. So 3 weeks on, here's my break-up story. No contact for 2 days, then threatening 4am text 'goodbye honey, going to sleep for the very last time..', jumped in car when I got it at 7am and straight to the police station. They went to the house, and there he is, wakens when they break in and remembers nothing. They gave him a warning, and nothing again till last night, texts to say he's going away and not coming back - implying again some deeper unsaid threat - so this time I texted we had some practical stuff to discuss and we could meet over a coffee at the weekend. I also said I wasn't coming back. Text this morning to say he's at the local hospital with the in-patient rehab programme so I hope I'll hear later today that they will keep him in there and that he will get help with his problems. So, yes, there have been some anxious and stressful moments (the police advised me to block his number) - and I'm pleased I was straight about not coming back if it has contributed in small way to him having to face up to seeking help - but nowhere nearly as many stresses as there would have been had I stayed, and I am on my way, I hope with a deal of compassion ... mixed with a strong sense of self-protection, contentment and hope for the future. Not out of the woods yet .... I hope you guys find it too.
I hope you guys find it too.
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