Woodman123

***Vent alert**** Riding the horse to crazy town... my AW has won an all-expense-paid vacation back to detox #6! wow, she's so lucky... and if she plays her cards right, she may again earn deluxe accommodations at her favorite rehab facility... good food, old friends and lots of quacking. Why am I so jealous? well, i spent the last few days working my a$$ off making treatment arrangements, buying her buzz-sustaining bottles day after day, making dinner, working, tending to the dogs and my son- all while she spent 72 hrs straight in bed, getting up only to go the bathroom or drink. And then, I had the audacity to beg, plead and demand that she take this 'free' luxury vacation. How could she possibly not want to go back I ask you? I guess because it means another separation from her true love, Mr. Kamchatka.

I know how this will play out- she won;t go to rehab, because she's not ready to quit. Which means that my only escape from this requires me to hit the dusty trail and find another camp... leaving behind everything I earned.

Silly me for wandering on her side of the rodeo fence to keep her from killing herself. Silly me for giving a sh*t.

BlueSkies1

Leaving behind everything you earned? Are you saying that this deposit on the rehab is non-refundable? Or hitting the trail permanently?

You're not silly. You just want sanity. Me too, I understand.

Impurrfect

Woodman - Vent on, I totally get it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Woodman123

Unfortunately, and sadly, perhaps the latter. Not that money is everything- it's not- but in the last 4 months, I've spent $25,000 on her recovery- from detox, related medical expenses and several residential inpatient rehabs... none of which brought my wife back. Truly flushed the money (which would have gone into college savings). AWFUL disease- truly awful.

iwanthappiness

I can relate 100%!! My AH only chooses the finest rehab facilities at the tune of $25,000 four different times! Only to relapse again and again. This disease is so frustrating! Our savings has depleted, however, I'm the one who likes to spend money (according to him). I'm becoming just as bitter as you appear to be. Its difficult at times to remain supportive and sympathetic when you are the only responsible one in the household time and time again. I feel your pain, and I do think you are funny!

hopeful4

Hmmm...maybe it is time for a different (cheaper) facility? Just a thought.

I am so sorry.

Katiekate

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Truly sorry.

So tell me, how can we help you at this point. Your sanity is important.

Maybe time to set some boundries. Why do you have to leave ???

You are probably not wanting to read this right now. We are friends and family too love.

Katie xo

AnvilheadII

we can't love them sober and we can buy them sobriety. cancel the rehab, put it back in the college fund. be done. hit the trail, get them doggies rollin'...........and please, quit buying her booze.

Dugie

I have/am going through a similar situation and I'm very sorry it's extremely painfull and sad. To put it bluntly you seem to be enabling this behavior. I know it's difficult with somone you love and want to get back but you problem without knowing and out of love is lour making her life great she can drink all she wants and your running the show taking all the responsibility and begging her to go to rehab and paying for it. We'll my friend put your self in her shoes there is no reason for her to think her drinking is really destroying her life and go and take the difficult step of drying herself out. I would stop all the helping make her life difficult let her see the problems her drinking are causing. God bless you

Recovering2

You're the one making the arrangements, paying for rehab. You're beg, pleading, demanding. She doesn't seem interested.

There is nothing you can do to get her sober. You're setting expectations that won't be met, therefore you get frustrated. Time to let go. Keep the focus where you DO have control, on your own life.

Woodman123

Thanks for the comments everyone. Just a point of clarity- my original post was a tongue-in-cheek attempt at humor (needed to do that for my own sanity!). By no means is my wife staying at posh rehab facilities- I know it has been difficult for her in these settings as she's never been one to reveal inner feelings much. Nevertheless, there still remains a significant investment outside of insurance, as many of you know all too well. And, my codie efforts to provide her drink was simply a bridge until she could get into the detox unit, nothing more. But I have finally reached the point of throwing the towel in, in terms of trying to control her or save her from herself. She has already stated that she plans to come home after detox- no rehab- and "go to alot of AA meetings and sponsor crap" (her words)... therefore, I think it is a foregone conclusion that she will return home and within a short period of time be back to dating Mr. Kamchatka again... at which point the real Mr. Husband will be "gettin those doggies rollin"!

HopefulinFLA

Woodman123, you're not silly for wanting to save your wife. We all want to save our someone. It's just so damn hard to accept that we can't do it. I feel for you, I really do. There was a time when I would have done absolutely anything to get my now RAH to stop drinking.

You do what you need to do to take care of and protect yourself because we all know an active A is only interested in protecting one thing, and it isn't us.

Please vent all you'd like!

Hugs!