autan

Well I have been Sober since the 2nd Jan 2014 and now 28 days later, previous to this I was 2 months Sober , I am looking back over my posts and taking stock.

Thats 3 months in the Sober Zone with a little time out for xmas, which wont be repeated.

The journey hasn't been an easy one and being Sober was not everything I expected it to be.

Saying that I have not had to hide empty bottles, wake up feeling sick or with a pounding headache.

Arguments over the amount I drink, cant drive because I was drunk and generally unfit to be around my own child because of my drunkenness.

3 months later, I am a reformed character. I no longer drink alcohol. Being Sober was supposed to make me feel great all of time, I was supposed to have all my problems in my life, solved simply by not picking up a drink and people would understand and congratulate me on how well I was doing on the street.
Then of course you wake up to the reality that is the only real truth.

You still have the same problems in life being sober or drunk, it is how you deal with them thats different. Now I don't hit the bottle after an argument with my Wife and instead of spending weeks in the dog house, it was just a day and a bit.

I dont find I am craving alcohol at all and therefore just get on with my life, instead of planning my next drink, hiding the empties and managing a hangover.

People don't understand your relationship with alcohol, they are incapable. They say things like, why cant you just stop drinking in the first place. Well we can stop drinking, we have proven that and we have also proven we are not going to drink again.

Being drunk doesn't numb you, anymore than going to sleep for a few hours. The only difference is, when your asleep your not harming yourself or others.

I am done with "trying not to drink", either leave it behind or dont. I am choosing to have nothing more to do with alcohol, it has taken too much from me, time I will never get back. It gave me a false feeling of self confidence, which was built on a self constructed pack of lies.


Maybe I will fail at life, maybe I will be a massive success, but doing it sober, I can claim I did it, not under the influence of drink. It has caused me nothing but trouble.

I think the most important lesson I have learned is, Autan was a human being that spent a lot of his time drinking and recovering from the drink. Then Autan got Sober and wondered what to do with all the free time.

Autan could spent that time "trying not to drink" or could do what normal people do, which is everything else in life.

The term alcoholic meant to me a person who "likes alcoholic", I am no longer an alcoholic, I am a person who chooses not to drink alcohol, because he doesn't like the effect it has on me.

I outright refuse to be labelled or allow people to treat me a certain way because of a label.

I think the assumptions that people attach to alcoholics is always negative and that is not helpful, if you are like me and no longer choose to drink.

After all, I do not go around saying to people, hello my name is Autan and I am an ex-smoker. I am simply a person who no longer chooses to smoke cigarettes.

Hypnotherapy has helped me, by disassociating my personality from addictive behaviour rather than simply trying to prevent me from drinking. This forum has taught me, we are not all the same. We dont all treat alcohol the same and we do not all, follow the same behaviour, but there is one goal and one common aim, which I hold most dear.

We are all committed to no longer drinking alcohol and while that thought is in your mind, you are not an alcoholic you are Sober.

Thank you for letting me get this of my chest. </RANT>

KateL

Great post

Dee74

That approach undeniably works well for many Autan - best wishes to you too
D

Joe Nerv

Not what I was expecting given the title . Good for you.

I'm not big on labels, and can't remember the last time I referred to myself as an alcoholic outside of the rooms of AA, or here. I simply don't drink. If pushed on the subject my answer as to why is usually, "Because I don't want to." Only reason I'm not completely comfortable giving up the label alcoholid is because I know for certain that if I pick up a drink, it's going to lead me down a horrible path from which I probably won't return. Someone who's not an alcoholic, in my definition of the word, is someone who can drink alcohol withoug repurcussions. That's not me. And I don't ever want to think it is.

All that's important is that we don't pick up a drink, and that we hopefully find some peace, contentment, and happiness. Much of the rest, IMO, is just a game of semantics.

PurpleKnight

I really like the smoker analogy, I'm not an ex smoker, I just don't smoke anymore!!

Great post Autan!!

bluncain

Thanks Autan,

The first post I read today, and it has straighten my resolve.

autan

I think you cannot drink without repercussions. For instance, every day people wake up the day after the night of drinking before, jump into their car to work, get stopped by the Police and charged and convicted of Drink Driving (DUI). They could lose their jobs, homes and livelihoods although they are not by definition and alcoholic, they have picked up an drink and it has had a repercussion.

<RETRACTED STATEMENT AS IT WAS INSENSITIVE>

I could go on and on, but my point is the act of drinking alcohol, will have repercussions at best a hangover, but often much worse.

autan

One lesson, I will teach my Son growing up, is alcohol is a very clever thief, he gives you a £50/$50 note and hands you back a £20/$20 note and tells you what a bargain you have just made, he will then invite you back tomorrow so he can do it again.

RevivingOphelia

The rapist caused the rape--not the alcohol.

autan

I agree with that completely. I will retract the statement.

RevivingOphelia

Thank you. Too often the onus to prevent rape is placed on the woman and what she should or shouldn't do to avoid being raped as opposed to the men who should learn not to rape women.

Way to go with your sobriety!

autan

My point was to illustrate that Rapists are Cowards and more likely to take advantage of a person under the influence than not. I did not intend to cause offence.

Stomper

Thanks for posting that this morning Autan!

ClearMind

Great post, dude! I'm glad you're still strong in your resolve.

Joe Nerv

My parents are both 83 and drank their entire lives without any repercussions. They're not alcoholic. They have 1 or 2 drinks, once in a while. Same for my wife. Same for lots and lots of people I know. There is a difference between them and me, and I don't want to think for a second that there isn't. They can drink safely. I can't.

whiskeyman

I must keep one thing in mind. I can be "recovered" from a gunshot wound but that does not make me bulletproof.

LDT

^^^ Exactly!

autan

I am saying that I personally do not accept the label, Alcoholic. I instead say I choose not to drink, because that it is fact.

I cannot control the intake of the alcohol I consume, it has a bad reaction with me, therefore I have chosen never to drink again. What other people do or do not, is for them, its not for me to to judge

TucTee

The label can be unfairly pejorative, good for you for ignoring it.

autan

I am not a ex-gambler, just because I was in the past.
I am not a ex-smoker, just because I was in the past.
I am not a Alcoholic, just because I was in the past.
I am not a gunshot victim, just because I was shot. (Your example)

I am saying, you have the right to be the person you want to be. There is a saying in motorcycle community.

Look in the direction, you want the bike to go in.
That works in life too.