Grrrrr...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Kendal, Cumbria UK
Posts: 129
Grrrrr...
Jeez, it gets worse.
I went out to target shooting for just over two hours...wifey had walked back from town, bringing stepdaughter. As I left, wifey was already having words with her.
Came home and was shown three substantial burns on the kitchen floor, which is engineered board...it cost over £1,000. Wifey slurring and irrational.
I was also shown a fan heater, which had inexplicably gone into meltdown after 5 years' reliable operation, causing said burns.
Fact one: fan heaters don't go into meltdown unless they're covered up in some way.
Fact two: the three burns were by the chair silly stepdaughter uses - and hangs her coat on.
Fact three: I didn't come down with the last raindrop.
So now, I've to buy a new heater, and get the damage to the floor fixed by making an insurance claim. I don't think so.
Result of nearly two bottles at a sitting.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
I went out to target shooting for just over two hours...wifey had walked back from town, bringing stepdaughter. As I left, wifey was already having words with her.
Came home and was shown three substantial burns on the kitchen floor, which is engineered board...it cost over £1,000. Wifey slurring and irrational.
I was also shown a fan heater, which had inexplicably gone into meltdown after 5 years' reliable operation, causing said burns.
Fact one: fan heaters don't go into meltdown unless they're covered up in some way.
Fact two: the three burns were by the chair silly stepdaughter uses - and hangs her coat on.
Fact three: I didn't come down with the last raindrop.
So now, I've to buy a new heater, and get the damage to the floor fixed by making an insurance claim. I don't think so.
Result of nearly two bottles at a sitting.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Ohhhh..ugh... Im so sorry!
My AH scraped the entire passenger side of my van after drinking and then driving it out of a parking garage where he turned the corner too tight and scraped the concrete barrier with the vehicle...4 years later, I still have the scrapes down the side. Of course, it wasn't his fault.
My AH scraped the entire passenger side of my van after drinking and then driving it out of a parking garage where he turned the corner too tight and scraped the concrete barrier with the vehicle...4 years later, I still have the scrapes down the side. Of course, it wasn't his fault.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 106
My AH has hit the side of the garage at our rental place twice. Of course, it had nothing to do with his drinking. After the second one, I had him test and he blew a .12. Even now, he says it was because it was too tight of a turn into the garage. Amazing since in three years of pulling in, he never hit it sober... quack,quack,quack...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
Hi Snood--I'm glad the house didn't burn, but how much of this can you stand?
It really sounds like you are pretty fed up with it at this point. . .
You have my empathy. This isn't a good sign in terms of progression of disease.
My mom nearly killed me a couple of times with kitchen fires from drinking.
I slept upstairs so got all the smoke and chemical fumes while she passed out.
Oh, the bad old days. . . anyway, it isn't going to get better, as you well know.
It really sounds like you are pretty fed up with it at this point. . .
You have my empathy. This isn't a good sign in terms of progression of disease.
My mom nearly killed me a couple of times with kitchen fires from drinking.
I slept upstairs so got all the smoke and chemical fumes while she passed out.
Oh, the bad old days. . . anyway, it isn't going to get better, as you well know.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Kendal, Cumbria UK
Posts: 129
I think we all have one of those moments, when the blindingly obvious hits you right between the eyes. I had one today.
This lunchtime, I mentioned my wife's 'double standards'. I think that stepdaughter sat by the heater, letting her coat cover it. This melted the vent, allowing heat to go straight down. Smelling burning, she kicked it one foot forward, then did the same again, the third and final burn mark being quite black in the centre.
I was referring to these standards. Stepdaughter is schizophrenic, who can do very little, except when she wants to do something. Like go to Florida with her boyfriend. Can't handle a Hoover, though.
The floor is a smart, expensive thing. If I have the temerity to put a wet (not muddy) footprint on it, I get roasted. But stepdaughter can wreck it, while Mum's too drunk to notice - and it's all the heater's fault.
When I hinted at my theory, I got such a vicious response, even I was taken aback. I simply refused to argue the matter. Post booze (at the beginning), I was told I was "talking bollocks", as a result of my "having had BPD". Again, I refused to engage.
What I did realise is that I've spent ages being bullied. When that stupid pricey meal occurred, I was bullied into paying half. If I even come close to mentioning wine, it's "back off"...or worse. The precedent is very strong.
As with all bullies, cowardice is close behind. On the rare occasions I've put my foot down, she's caved.
Thus far, seven-and-a-half bottles in six days/three sessions. That's what happens when one cares.
I believe she's bullied her last. I'm there when she needs support. I am not, however, going to be a scapegoat any more. She can't drink her daughter's behaviour/problem away, and that isn't my doing.
This lunchtime, I mentioned my wife's 'double standards'. I think that stepdaughter sat by the heater, letting her coat cover it. This melted the vent, allowing heat to go straight down. Smelling burning, she kicked it one foot forward, then did the same again, the third and final burn mark being quite black in the centre.
I was referring to these standards. Stepdaughter is schizophrenic, who can do very little, except when she wants to do something. Like go to Florida with her boyfriend. Can't handle a Hoover, though.
The floor is a smart, expensive thing. If I have the temerity to put a wet (not muddy) footprint on it, I get roasted. But stepdaughter can wreck it, while Mum's too drunk to notice - and it's all the heater's fault.
When I hinted at my theory, I got such a vicious response, even I was taken aback. I simply refused to argue the matter. Post booze (at the beginning), I was told I was "talking bollocks", as a result of my "having had BPD". Again, I refused to engage.
What I did realise is that I've spent ages being bullied. When that stupid pricey meal occurred, I was bullied into paying half. If I even come close to mentioning wine, it's "back off"...or worse. The precedent is very strong.
As with all bullies, cowardice is close behind. On the rare occasions I've put my foot down, she's caved.
Thus far, seven-and-a-half bottles in six days/three sessions. That's what happens when one cares.
I believe she's bullied her last. I'm there when she needs support. I am not, however, going to be a scapegoat any more. She can't drink her daughter's behaviour/problem away, and that isn't my doing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
Yes, a bully will crumble when faced with resolve.
You can do it. A relationship isn't a pi$$ing contest.
Things shouldn't be done by bluster, but discussion ideally.
That makes sharing your life with someone actually peaceful and rewarding.
That and no alcoholism, that is. . .
That much booze in three sessions is both expensive and isn't more than her usual amount?
The disease is progressing indeed. Does she black out / pass out yet?
You can do it. A relationship isn't a pi$$ing contest.
Things shouldn't be done by bluster, but discussion ideally.
That makes sharing your life with someone actually peaceful and rewarding.
That and no alcoholism, that is. . .
That much booze in three sessions is both expensive and isn't more than her usual amount?
The disease is progressing indeed. Does she black out / pass out yet?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Kendal, Cumbria UK
Posts: 129
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
Yes, a bully will crumble when faced with resolve.
You can do it. A relationship isn't a pi$$ing contest.
Things shouldn't be done by bluster, but discussion ideally.
That makes sharing your life with someone actually peaceful and rewarding.
That and no alcoholism, that is. . .
That much booze in three sessions is both expensive and isn't more than her usual amount?
The disease is progressing indeed. Does she black out / pass out yet?
You can do it. A relationship isn't a pi$$ing contest.
Things shouldn't be done by bluster, but discussion ideally.
That makes sharing your life with someone actually peaceful and rewarding.
That and no alcoholism, that is. . .
That much booze in three sessions is both expensive and isn't more than her usual amount?
The disease is progressing indeed. Does she black out / pass out yet?
Six days, seven bottles - one can't argue with fact. She got the notion that drinking every other day is 'healthier'. Not if you drink more than ever, it isn't. And yes, it is expensive.
No blackouts as yet. On booze nights she goes to sleep v. early, a hangover can follow next day.
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