bird13

I have not posted on here in a long time.. maybe 2 months.. I just wanted to share what has helped me. Maybe it will help others. I started to spend most if not all of my free time with friends who are not alcoholics, and who are not friends of my boyfriend's/ Because they are precisely not MY friends and remind me of all the mental ruts I am stuck in with him and them from the past years.

It has helped me so much to remember why people like me, without him around, and to be treated with such respect and love by others. It is touching and has healed a lot of the overall unhappiness in my life. Despite his drinking. Times without him are quiet but that is nice, and I look forward to the company of others now especially one person who has been such a pleasure to be around and who deeply cares about me. And this person is balanced and fun and loving, but never intrusive, judging, or asking questions about my relationship. Just a wonderful person and friend. The best part is my feelings are changing on their own and lately I have had thoughts of just wanting to take some time off and break up. Maybe really do this and let him go. None of those thoughts coming from an angry place. Please if you have normal people to hangout with go spend time with them, and don't talk about your A partner. use that time for you. I have really loved the last few months and found a great and cool friend who has made a difference in my life. Sure there will be hard times ahead still! alcoholism sucks but I am not as hooked, i am happier, and peaceful. missed that for so long.

I know this is not possible for married couples, and certain situations where they live with you but if you can find any time at ALL with normal people and use it for you it is such a recharge to your battery. At least for me.

peaceofpi

Thanks for posting. I found that hanging out with non-drinkers helped a lot. When I started detaching from my A, I'd take my young child out of the house to parks and a pool to get away from craziness at our house. I met another mom with young child, and we've become the best of friends. It's been great for my child to spend time with a normal, non-drinking family with a mom and dad who treat each other with respect.

wolfpackfan45

So very true. Most of my time is spent with folks who rarely drink or don't imbibe at all. It's so much more enjoyable for me to be around sober people who are able to carry on a real conversation. Parties and get togethers without people in an alcohol induced haze are so much fun. I find that I get bored around people who are drinking heavily, and I also find it to be a painful experience. I have no problem with someone having a beer, but it hurts me to watch folks get drunk when I know the damage it caused my alcoholic son. It's healing to be around sober, happy people.