autan

I have been Sober for 26 days and I no longer crave alcohol, my AV hasnt given me trouble in days and physically feel great.

My problems seem to mental ones.

I have lost my drive, my motivation or desperation to get things done. Its like walking through treacle.

I have lost my confidence, I am second guessing myself all the time and making poor choices.

I am easily distracted and have lost that killer instinct.

Is this normal ? If I carry on like I have been doing this past month, I will be broke by April.

I really need some advice from those who have come out the other end.

I cant cope !!!

Dee74

I think this is all pretty normal, Autan - my priorities certainly changed, as did my lifestyle, and I was unsure about who sober me was.

Things distilled for me around 90 days.

this paws link might ring a few bells too - if it does it has some suggestions.

PAWS | Digital Dharma

I hope you'll hear from other business types and what they did too.

D

wpainterw

Autan: You are going through a period of adjustment both in your body and in your mind. It's not easy but it comes with the territory. Hang in there and things will gradually sort themselves out. The drive, the energy, etc. will come back vigorously in due time. Indeed, you may start to feel so much better than you could have when you were drinking. But beware of false confidence and entering into a stage sometimes called the "pink cloud". That's when your AV says, "You're O.K. now. Just had a little too much to drink. Now that you're better it won't harm to have just one." Don't fall for that! Beware of that camel getting its nose back into the tent. I've been that route many times and it always ends in disaster. You take a drink and then when nothing happens you think you can take two. Nothing happens and then three, four, five, etc. Some times it takes a week or a month of more to fall down the cliff but the end is always the same.It sounds like you were using drink to jazz yourself up and it gave you a false feeling of confidence. This is dangerous indeed since drinking actually makes you less aware, less efficient. The drink is gone, and the false confidence. In time the real confidence will appear.
So stick with it and you'll feel better, more confident, better than you felt when you were drinking. More capable. More successful. All the good stuff. It looks flat, boring, monotonous now but if you hang in there you're in for a wonderful recovery.

W.

hypochondriac

I really understand how you feel Autan. It does get better but it may take some time. You have to give your body and mind time to recover and learn how to function all over again sober. Try not to be too hard on yourself x

Hevyn

I definitely felt very odd those first few months. I had been numbing myself for so long - I felt very fragile and disoriented as I emerged from lala land. It all settled down and finally those strange feelings went away. Autan be patient with yourself - you are going through a huge transition. We are so proud of your accomplishment.

ReadyAndAble

Been sober 26 days? That's a huge achievement—so it sounds to me like you've got plenty of drive and motivation, and have been channeling that energy into exactly the right place! In my opinion, the first weeks and months of recovery require a singular focus. It's only natural that other things will slip; one only has so much attention and energy to go around.

These are still the early days for you, and you're doing great. Walk tall... and cut yourself some slack. You're kicking butt in one of the biggest challenges life has to offer.

autan

In an ideal world, I would take 12 months off and get myself right, but in reality I need to find a way to jump start my system besides drinking. Any suggestions, I have tried more coffee, I have tried exercise.

I need the old Autan back, I need the wit, the drive and enthusiasm. I need me to be me.

This is probably making no sense at all.

Aellyce

Autan, I'm not sure but here is what I think.
Perhaps what you are going through is PAWS... perhaps you are just waking up to some *very* normal human emotions, and fluctuating emotional states, that have been repressed by drinking alcohol for a long time so that you might not even remember, or perhaps if you started drinking very early, maybe never even got to know yourself in those depths because they felt scary from start...?

I may be totally wrong with this but here is what I suggest: try to focus ALL your energy on not drinking TODAY. Don't attempt too much from yourself tonight and try to have a rest, go to sleep as early as possible, if you can.
Then re-evaluate tomorrow.

I think what you are experiencing is TOTALLY NORMAL.
Hang on in

sugarbear1

those 12 steps saved my life.

I understand what you are going through.

2muchpain

Autan,

It sounds after 26 days, your mind is settling down and now you are dealing with issues you haven't been capable of before. Maybe making a plan for each day and sticking with it no matter how you feel might help. At least, you might feel like you are moving forward instead of feeling stuck. Have you considered getting a therapist? It sounds like you are now ready to deal with problems that might have caused you to drink in the first place.
I hope you find your way through what you are going through. I'm sure you know by now that drinking through this won't make things better, just put off what you need to deal with.
You have been a great inspiration to me, and I'm sure others. My heart goes out to you, and I'm asking my higher power to help you through this. Take care.

Anna

Be patient with yourself and try to hang in there.

Dee74

Be careful of the AV trying to convince you that the only way to get old autan back is by drinking.

Everything you were, you are now - plus, I think, a little more

D

LadyBlue0527

On the contrary, it makes total sense! It's the "ok, so what the heck do I do with myself now?" stage. It's tough but it passes.

Also, you will never have the old Autan back. You will have the BETTER Autan! It might be hard to see that at this very moment but it does happen.

Hang in there, this gets better!

least

Sounds like PAWS to me. I had problems with that in the first few months. Took me several months, four or five, to feel more normal and 'evened out' emotionally. It will pass.

If it doesn't pass, then a visit to your doctor might be a good idea.

Mikie9

It gets better friend, you just have to work through the change. I remember this time myself. In the overall scope of things it doesn't take very long to take that drive you have and focus it somewhere. Although it does sound like the buzz gave you energy since you are trying to replace it with caffeine and exercise. this isn't bad btw I found more sweets and exercise is working for me right now at a few months in. Whatever it takes really. My eye opening moment was when I was on here one night feeling lost, and someone suggested I go exploring in my city, asked what I could do in the morning. I had 3 answers and I got energized again. All humans must have something to look forward too to feel alive, especially us buzz chasers.

colagirl

I totally sympathize! I'm at day 71 today and have been struggling with the same thing. I need to be studying for a massive test next month and simply CANNOT motivate myself to focus for any meaningful period of time. Even the terrifying idea that time is slipping away and I am likely to fail the test if I don't buckle down is not doing the trick. Same thing with my job (just got a promotion, you'd think I'd be gung ho on everything, right?) - can't find a way to get invested at the moment. Still so much better than being hungover every day and rushing through my studying so I have time to get drunk before bed, though.

I'm hoping what people above are saying about it lasting the first few months is correct, that would mean we'll both get there before too long. Hang in there!

PaulinaPolitely

i really appreciate your honesty. i am truly afraid to share reality and what is going on within, and you, apparently, are brave enough. BRAVO!

reflection

Autan, hang in there! I went through similar stuff last week - up, down, all-around, it was like my brain had been taken over by a really emotional alien. This week, I am through it and feel like a better version of me.

Be gentle with yourself and give your body and mind time to heal. You may want to consider moving the herbal tea. Coffee is tasty, but also seems to exacerbate the swirl. You can do this.

Mountainmanbob

learning to adjust and live sober takes us some time
problem is
us alcoholics want everything right now
when I took my 30 day token I was still in a deep fog
things started getting better for me after that
sometimes good results require hard work

Mountainman

SnoozyQ

Autan , hang in there . It gets better .

It took me 4 months before I really started to get rid of my fatigue and my fuzzy mental state ...it WILL get better and when you start noticing that change , you will never want to go back .

It just gets better and better.

I thought I was better at 5 months

But felt even better at 6

And now at 7 ..great

I know I have only good to look forward to instead of looking back at the bullshitt alcohol caused .

This won't last long you are doing great .26 days is awesome xxx

Stand your ground , you know you don't want to go back to THAT place