scintillady

Need to have bloodwork in the next couple days and have been putting it off because I have to abstain from drinking for at least 24 hours. Have not been able to do it, and now worried that this second withdrawal will be hard on me when I do decide to quit cold turkey. Absolutely no luck at all cutting down and moderating and slowly weaning off. It seems to be all or nothing for me.. The other one wasn't bad, but I hear the more times you do it the harder it is. I'm going to try to go for it tonight I had 6 weeks of sobriety back in May, but slipped up and got right back to my old habits. I had 6 days awhile back, but that was a long time ago. The only time I don't feel totally stressed out and panicky is when I have my wine. I know it will be better when I quit, but haven't been able to make myself get back to it. I'll let you know how I do.

least

I'm glad you're trying again. What is your plan for this time?

Dee74

why not approach your DR for help scintillady?

D

Mountainmanbob

that's how it has worked best for me
can't have even just one

Mountainman

zerothehero

I understand the stress and anxiety without wine. That was one of my main reasons for drinking daily. And no doubt the anxiety was a challenge the first week or two of sobriety, but it has tapered off. Today makes a month for me, and I think I'm dealing with relatively normal anxiety at this point. Sleeping well on most nights. It gets better, but the transition is a challenge. I used this forum as my go-to group when I was feeling all wrong. Here's how I see it:

Wine will help me deal with my anxiety for the night.
Sobriety is helping me deal with my anxiety for life.

scintillady

My doctor doesn't know that I'm pretty much back where I started from before I went to detox. Don't really feel a good rapport with him, anyway. I called when I was trying to stay sober after detox and asked him for a prescription for antabuse and was told he doesn't prescribe that medication. I feel like if I was to take all choice out of the equation for awhile, just knowing I absolutely can't drink at all, it would take a lot of the stress of me thinking about it so much all the time, asking myself "will I drink tonight?" Telling myself I won't, and then white knuckling it each time I go by a store on the way home, getting really mad at myself when I cave in to it, losing whole days of my 3 day weekend every week because I have to plan my whole day around when I can drink or if I'm going to drink. After I get the bloodwork and find out if my liver is relatively OK, I need to find a new psychiatrist to help me get back on some effective meds for depression, and then maybe he will prescribe the antabuse. It's all intertwined, I know, the depression, being broke all the time even with a decent job, my boyfriend moving out and leaving me no choice but to move in with a woman I don't know very well, in an apartment that is too small with 2 dogs and a cat. Can't even have a phone because I can't pay the bill, and also am late on car insurance and my car is not inspectable, so will get caught soon, I know. Oh, and I'm 57 so don't have as much time to get my life back in order. Sorry for the pity party, I know it's all a result of my bad decisions.

Dee74

I don;t know your health details but antabuse is not suitable for everybody, so it's possible your Dr was looking out for you?

D

sammy1974

Pretty much sums it up for me

scintillady

I just got a blanket statement from his nurse. "He says he doesn't prescribe that medication".

scintillady

So the first night I tried to go cold turkey after 2-4 bottles of wine a day for a few weeks. Woke up in the middle of the night in a panic and drank one of my roommate's beers. I don't like beer but she had one in the fridge and I thought I needed it. Didn't get back to sleep but it helped with the anxiety over possible withdrawal. Last night I had 2 beers after work (I work until 10) over a 3 hour span of time. Had a good sleep and woke up feeling better. Wine is my drink of choice but I knew if I bought wine I would drink the whole bottle, so I figured beer would be a better choice since I don't like it and it's lower in alcohol. I'll try for only 1 beer tonight and hopefully none Wednesday so I can get my bloodwork done on my day off on Thursday.