justinJustQuit

So how long was it until you could be around alcohol without dying to have a drink? I'm 13 days sober and loving every second of that.

But I know from past experiences that the only reason I'm sober is because I have kept myself out of all alcohol situations. Period. No exceptions. The sobriety in this guy is more important than any one function. And I don't care who it's with. I learned this through sr by the way.

MythOfSisyphus

It really didn't bother me being around alcohol, even at the beginning. I was warned not to put myself in the situation where everyone was drinking but honestly once my Big Plan was made it was like a switch was flipped in my head.

LadyinBC

I personally think you are smart to keep yourself out of those situations. I still do and I am sober a year and a half.

Dee74

I kept myself out of all those kinds of situations until I knew for sure I was strong enough to handle anything and anyone.

I wanted to be sober and I preferred it that way.

It was over a year before I stepped back into a bar (for a gig).

D

DanicaB

I'm 2 weeks sober and my husband is talking about hosting get-togethers and having friends come over on weekends. I'm not even sure how to be social without alcohol. I'm worried I'll just completely forget why I'm doing this and give in to peer pressure or something. Of course I can try to remember all the times I embarrassed myself in front of others. But then sometimes I just wait for everyone to leave to really start drinking. Ughhh, it's just going to be no fun without alcohol. Or maybe that's that little voice talking again. I wonder if I should give it a try or not.

Dee74

I think it takes time to build a new life Danica - it'll take time to discover who sober you is too.

2 weeks is just not long enough for any of that - and it would have been too soon for me to throw myself back into socialising.

I needed some 'sobriety muscles' - like any kind of muscles, that takes time, commitment and effort.

D

jdooner

Sorry but this all sounds like recipes for disaster. I tried to be the non conformist bc I am unique and different - special. So yes, I tried going to a club with bottle service about a month into sobriety. I learned in about 5 minutes I could either choose sobriety or to stay in the club. I left with a hefty bill that I chalked up to a learning experience. Its all in my post history.

There is biology that occurs that make it nearly impossible for those in early recovery to stay sober in these situations. Rational thought goes out the window and your ability to make good decisions is impaired - even sober. Yes willpower can get you through like it did me and Myth but it is not advised and results is relapse more often than not.

Notmyrealname

I haven't had much of a problem staying quit, once I quit. My problem was always the quitting while I was in drinking mode. Once I quit and get past detox I'm in decent shape. Sure, there were some tough moments when I was relearning how to live without being a drunk all the time, mainly because those old habits die hard, so you can feel that "gravitational pull", that little nudge from out of nowhere towards having a drink, but they're just habits, you know?

Once you make the decision that you don't do that @#$% anymore and commit to that goal, when habits strike you evaluate the feeling and make a decision that's in line with your new values, and you don't drink. And you probably do something else, hopefully don't just sit there moping and lamenting your loss, that's pretty counterproductive and a sad way to spend your evening..

That all said, mostly I don't go to bars with people and don't often hang out with people who are drinking to get drunk. Sobriety's going well, but no need to rock the rowboat.

IOAA2

The thing I did was getting away with it several times and congratulating myself. Then around the 5th time I was not in a good place thinking wise and someone said something that my super sensitive self disliked and ordered a drink and fortunately caught myself after paying for it and left.
After many years sober I don't put myself into drinking situations unless there is a need to be there like a wedding or death and so on. I'm grateful that it's been many years since I've wanted a drink.

BE WELL

Mountainmanbob

when it comes to being a supporter of your sobriety
your husband may not realize it
but
he's not thinking about your best wishes here

Mountainman

Anna

It was close to a year before I felt comfortable being around alcohol. And, even now, years later, I am seldom in situations where alcohol is involved. My life has moved on into different directions.

TheMiddlePath

Timely post for me. I wish I would have heeded this advice last night.

I think the best rule is to stay away from these alcohol related events for, gulp, several months at least.

Knowledge is power.

Pondlady

I wasn't comfortable until about a year. When I've in situations where people are drinking, now I am relieved I leave clear headed, return home and get on with my life

Mags1

I like the analogy by Dee

I needed some 'sobriety muscles' - like any kind of muscles, that takes time, commitment and effort.

I couldn't agree more, I know I won't drink but if I just let it in slightly it would consume me. My 'sobriety muscles' aren't fully developed, I realise, so gently does it, for me.

tobiano22

I'm almost 9 months in, and still alcohol "talks" to me when i'm in the room with it. Not as loudly as earlier in my sobriety was, when i would imagine it jumping off the table and pouring itself down my throat.. So it does get easier with time, when you learn to trust yourself, and remember your Higher Power will keep you safe if you ask him. I would suggest staying out of alcohol related events at this point in your sobriety, and ask that your husband respect that you are this early in sobriety. if he does not, he may have a preoccupation of his own that he needs to acknowledge. Your Sobriety is paramount and you have to protect it anyway you can. Keep yourself safe, listen to your gut instince, and have an escape route planned. Keep the number of a fellow Alcoholic in your phone, so you can call if you feel antsy. This is what keeps us sober. Good luck

hypochondriac

I kept hanging around drinking situations for a while early on and it was tough. I thought for a long time that with time it would get easier, and it did, but there was a moment not too long back where I really thought I would slip if I put myself in a drinking situation so I didn't go. I suppose the best thing is to be vigilant and honest with yourself x

Hope4Life

In my case, I had removed myself from the bar scene about 5 1/2 years before I got sober. Once I made my mind up to stop drinking for good, it didn't seem to be a problem for me to be with a friend who was having a drink with lunch or dinner. When someone brought alcohol to my house, however, that was a little harder to dismiss.

I also continued going to concerts, where EVERYONE is drinking. Surprisingly enough, that wasn't hard at all. I was the DD and not drinking meant enjoying the show w/o any distractions and being sure that the drive home would not be a problem.

I agree that staying away from any function with alcohol until your 'sober muscles' are built up is a good idea. Sobriety has to #1.... no matter what.