Ethos23

I am going to my godson's birthday tomorrow. I am dreading it because it is my first event out where I will not be drinking. Yes, it is an 8 year old's birthday party and I'm worried about drinking. Weird . . . yes, I agree. They always have plenty of beer and wine, as well as a full bar. I am not even tempted to drink. After my last binge, I want nothing to do with alcohol. What is freaking me out is that there will be a bunch of people there that I used to party with. When I say "used to" I mean, like 10 years ago. The problem is, it is all that we have in common, so I stick out like a sore thumb when not drinking.

I will be there with my wife and two little ones, so I will have plenty to keep my mind off drinking. My goal is to tell people when I get the question "Where's your drink?" That I made the decision this year to quit drinking. It will be awkward to say the first time, but then its over. No more future questions. No more worrying about seeing these people in social situations because I have already told them I don't drink.

My question is, how have each of you broken the ice and just told people, "I don't drink"

Gilmer

I may be different from the norm, but I flat out tell them, "I've become an alcoholic." They usually drop the subject.

ScottFromWI

I've never really had to because I've never been asked. I'm guessing no one will ask you either. We falsely assume that people will care if we are drinking or not because we are alcoholics and obsess about those kinds of things...people really don't care or even think about it for the most part.

Sure- your regular "drinking buddies" know, but in general people just don't even think about it. They are there for the event, not to drink or worry about who else is drinking.

doggonecarl

I think it's come up once for me. In three and a half years. And I think I told the person I quit drinking. They didn't say anything. So you may be overthinking this.

If you are asked if you want a drink, say, "No thanks." If you are asked why you aren't drinking, say, "I don't feel like it." You owe no one an explaination beyond what you feel comfortable giving.

FreeOwl

here are a few I've used with my former party-pals;

"You and I both know I've had enough to drink for five lifetimes... *insert charming laughter and winning smile* - no thanks. I'm sticking to *insert non-alcoholic alternative*"

"No thanks, I'm good with this ___water, coffee, tea, whatever____, I've decided to see what my life is like without alcohol for a while"

"After looking honestly at my life over the years, I've decided that life is just all around better for me without booze".

"I'm giving my body a break today, I'll stick with water thanks!"


There are a ton of variations. I find it tough - particularly with active drinkers in my life - to bust right out with the whole big picture or say "I'm an alcoholic and I'm in recovery". And actually, I'm pretty sure that level of openness will be limited for a long while, to those who are close to me and who I trust and feel need to know it. Others don't necessarily need to know my reasons and I don't need to give a lengthy explanation that makes me uncomfortable. Just a quick, honest, maybe funny, maybe factual but simple 'no thanks' and move on.

You'll be fine.

Pipping

You will feel much better once you get your first drinking function out of the way as a sober person. It's a big step and when you achieve it I am sure you will feel less and less worried about attending these things.

KateL

I just say I don't drink anymore because it began to disagree with me xxx

Ethos23

Thanks for all the responses. I am sure that I am obsessing about this a bit, but I know I will be fine. Otherwise, you wouldn't catch me within 100 miles of the event. I have some upcoming social obligations that I am simply not attending because it is too early in my sobriety and nothing is more important than maintaining my sobriety because it affects not only me but the people that mean the most to me.

tomsteve

"My question is, how have each of you broken the ice and just told people, "I don't drink"

why is it necessary to "break the ice" and tell people ya don't drink if not asked?

I learned early on that comin up with replies was a waste of time. im not that important.
when asked by someone that knew my past "wheres your drink" the reply was usually,"right here in my hand." no, it wasn't an alcoholic drink, but it was my drink.

Anna

I haven't told people that I don't drink. I just don't drink.

Try to not stress about it and enjoy the party.