frannie

:titanic Whoever came up with the "one day at a time" philosophy must have been in all our places at times. I am sitting at the computer on a beautiful , sunny Saturday afternoon, feeling rather sorry for myself. My daughter is in jail this weekend...part of sentence for a DUI. There were 27 women who are there all the time--plus the 3 weekenders. I hoped that she would call, but I guess with 27 regulars...there certainly is not time for everyone to use the phone...and the regualr prisoners no doubt have earned privileges and the phone is probably one of the ones they value earnig points for the most....Still, i miss my daughter...I haven't heard her voice since Friday afternoon before she reported for the weekend in jail. I keep telling myself that it won't be long before she is home (tomorrow around noon). I have been surprised that i have missed her as much as I have. She was always in and out ..but I knew she was here and could talk to her and call her cell phone. It has always seemed to me that late afternoon and early evening are the loneliest times of day...I don't know why. I am sad and lonely...my gosh, if I feel this bad at a simple event of only a couple of days...then how on earth am i ever going to let her get married. I am going to try to hold on as long as I can...That is a terribly codependent thing to say...but I am learning about separation for the first time. We really haven't been separated that much before...and certainly not in these negative conditions. I really have a lot of work to do on detaching. I have tried to keep busy all day but have come to a standstill now...Have you ever wondered why God lets some of us go through things that are so hard...I have heard the statement "if He took you to it, He will take you through it. " That sounds great, but what is "taking you through it"...it might only mean that he will not let you die over it...you may still be hurt but you will have survived. Sometimes I get really angry with God because he never seems to answer my prayers. I need to work on my relationship with God. Just put that on my list of things to do. Sorry for whining...I can't stand whiners...I am going to get up from this chair and go and find something to do!!!

Ann

Frannie

I'm sorry I missed this earlier because me and my bunny slippers (you will learn about the power of MY bunny slippers, LOL) would have nudged you right outdoors to enjoy the day. The thing is, she will be home tomorrow regardless of whether you worry today or go out and enjoy the sunshine.

It's okay, this is Mama Worry herself talking...but I learned that worry never once changes the outcome and that i can spend my days miserable or I can make myself do something more positive. There is a thread here somewhere called "How To Have Fun When You Really Don't Feel Like It" and it's exactly about days like today. Take a read, I think its been here recently again, and pick something from the list.

God has taken her there for a reason, and time will reveal what that was. Any time in my life that I was handed an obstacle, in hindsight I could see that it was really a gift in disguise...a lesson to be learned that would give me strength to do better next time...a detour that put me on a better road...an experience that led me to something I would never have found otherwise...there are lots of gifts but they are always surprises.

May this weekend give you each wonderful gifts.

Hugs
Ann

keithcancook

I've been following your story frannie and it is obvious that you are trying to work the program. Do not waver. The combined intellegence of all the folks posting on these boards, along with your local groups, is a resource beyond value. It is priceless therapy and it is FREE! Whine away....that is therapy too. Not one person in here will mind from what I have seen. As for God, I don't understand Him enough to get mad. Also, I may have it easier than many of the folks in here as I do not have an active abuser in my home at the moment. When my son returns, if he returns, then you will hear Keith doing some moaning.....