Hurtinginchicag

She stopped going to the doctor, hasn't been taking her medications, she is a diabetic, she vomits all over her house, and soils herself leaving poop on the floor. Her home is filthy, she is not eating, all she does is drink all day. Now she cannot even drive, but she manages to walk to the grocer and buy liquor. She is going to die, and there is nothing I can do to stop her.

least

Welcome to the family.

It's painful to watch someone destroy themselves and be powerless to stop it. Can you find an AlAnon meeting to go to for support for yourself? We have a forum here for friends and family of alcoholics. There are many people at SR who are in similar situations and they can share their insight.

Dee74

I'm really sorry to read that Hurting.
I think leasts suggestion is a good one - you can at least do something for yourself.

Please do also check out our Family and Friends forums too
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

rove27

That must be very hard for you to deal with, you might want to look into AlAnon for support with others who are going through a similar situation.

Skye2

Is there any way you could talk to her Doctor or even social services? Sounds like she's becoming a danger to herself, sadly
My heart really goes out to you.

justinJustQuit

I'm with Skye2. Everyone has a starting point no matter how bad it may look. It can only go up from the bottom.

SilentCinemaFan

Too bad there isn't any way to legally commit her to some help like mental evaluation or jail time. I feel for you so much, I wish I could think of a solution for you.

Sulu1

Really sorry to hear about your sister hurting. As others have said make sure you look after yourself first.

She sounds like she's in a very bad way. I hope she manages to see a way out of this.

Hurtinginchicag

I've tried having her committed via the Marshall Act. She went to crisis to be evaluated, they found her to be very anemic, and admitted her to the hospital, she got several blood transfusions, after a few day I was told she was not demented, didn't display any signs of delirium tremors, and could not be baker acted. She was discharged with medications for her diabetes, anemia, and blood pressure, and was supposed to see the doctor again in a month which she never did. Now she ran out of medications, her arms and legs are bruised from falling so many times, her gastritis is making her vomit frequently, she is 5' 5'' and weights 72 lbs, and she is 44 years old but looks like 80. She does not bathes, or grooms herself anymore, and doesn't even changes clothes. It hurts me deeply to see her slowly killing herself, she is at the bottom of a rope, where only the end seeing to be waiting for her. I am so sad

Mountainmanbob

it may be time
to ask a Pastor or Priest to come with you and pay her a visit
maybe a goodbye to the world prayer would snap her back
if not
she needs to prepare herself for what's coming
an alcoholic death

we are all going to meet our maker someday
some sooner than others
I would not wish to show up drunk for that meeting

Mountainman

Threshold

I am so sorry, what a terribly painful and heart breaking situation.

You can find support here on the friends and family section. I wish I had some advice on how to help her, but as adults we truly have to be willing to accept help and do all we can for ourselves as well.

Attending Al-anon meetings yourself might provide some needed face to face support for you with people who are or have been in situations like your own.

My thoughts are with you and your sister.

EndGameNYC

There are civil commitment laws that vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction that enable family members to have loved ones brought into psychiatric care. Most deal with people who are a threat to themselves or others, but they often take into account the cumulative weight of psychiatric crises.

This is not something to be done alone or without good counsel, so I strongly recommend that you find a social worker or other mental health/medical professional to assist and guide you should you decide to pursue this course of action, of course, after your own due diligence.

EverySngleNight

EndGame- that's really good information. Do you know of any links that may be a good starting point for someone in Hurting's position?

F50Lurker

My brother died in a similar manner, unbeknownst to any of our family that he was in that condition. It's really hard to understand when people give up on life like that. I tried to see life through his eyes, and it looked hopeless. Not sure I'd have the will to live if I only saw hopelessness, either. His friends told me he knew he was dying and he just didn't care. They offered help to him many times and he would have none of it.

Really sad. So sorry.

EndGameNYC

I would start by looking at state/county/local departments of mental health. Either that or search for an attorney and/or a social worker who specializes in such things.

Imabuleva

This is the part of the disease that I can't stomach. I slid about half-way down that rope and climbed my back up to five, soon to be six days of sobriety. I really don't want to look down.

Wilson202

Sorry to hear thats very tough wish you and family the best thru the this tough time, but im sorry to ask but if shes like this physically how is she managing to gain access to cash to purchase liquor? The enabling wont help if thats the case. Might want to call some professional help though for her if it's that bad. Prayers for you and your family

Marcher13

Hurtinginchicag, have you looked into what support services might be available to you? Al-Anon would certainly be a good start.

Hurtinginchicag

Thank you. This is a great suggestion, i called AA to have someone go over to my sister and talk with her, but I was told, it is my sister that needs to call. She says she is not an alcoholic and doesn't need AA. I am going to start going to a CoDA meeting next week.

Hurtinginchicag

Thank you for such a tender story of you and your brother. I am sure you miss him so. I spoke with a friend that was a heavy drinker years ago, he says most people start drinking to drown feelings of inadequacy. My sister is a very shy woman, she never had a real relationship. Maybe this is why she drinks. We all grew very shy, I have my own things to deal with, but I never took on drinking. I guess I am the lucky one.