Mrrryah1

I cheated on the most amazing man while I was wasted during my last relapse. I love him so much. He has never waivered in his support and love through the horrible lows of my alcoholism. He would never hurt me. How could I have done this and what do I do now? How do I live with myself and my actions. I am so disgusted by myself I just want to die. Has anyone else been in this situation? I would NEVER have done it sober, I was so out of it I barely even remember a thing.... God help me. So depressed.

FeelingGreat

Mrrryah, use your shame to get sober and stay that way. And please have a check up for sexually transmitted disease. Passing on an STD would make a bad situation much much worse.

ScottFromWI

Sobriety cannot heal all wounds, but it would be a step forward in restoring credibility in your life. I hope you can find the strength to do so.

justinJustQuit

I got hit on by a girl one time when I was drunk and she text me that night while i was still drunk.

It was shameful, but it's yet another reason to not drink.

Dee74

many many of us did things we regret myrrrah.

There's been some good advice here - we can't undo the past but we can make a lot out of our today...stay sober, focus on the now, grow a little stronger day by day and put the past behind you.

D

LadyinBC

I never made good decisions when I was drunk. So you are not the only one. Have never posted this here but here goes. I have started things with married men when I was drunk. I have also cheated on boyfriends when I was drunk. At the time I didn't care though cause it was all about me.

You are not the only one who has done this and I would definitely be the last person to judge you. We do crappy things when we are drunk and unfortunately we can't change what happened.

If you haven't told him, then this is something you are going to have to do no matter how hard it is. You cannot keep something like this a secret. It will eat you up and you will never be able to move forward. Honesty is very important in sobriety. And Feelinggreat is right you need to get tested and your boyfriend needs to also.

I know that this isn't easy, but you do have a strength inside you to get thru this. And you will get thru this and you will become a better person because you did get thru this.

Big hugs to you.

seahorse661

Discuss this with your sponsor please.
They may feel it falls in the "injure them or others" category. I am not suggesting you don't disclose, but your sponsor can help you consider the possible consequences.

ReadyAtLast

What's done is done. you can't change it but in time you will forgive yourself.

Perhaps this is a good opportunity to stop drinking to ensure it never happens again. If you keep drinking things will only get worse. If you stop you KNOW this will never happen again.

I'm not saying you should or should not disclose this.That is not for anyone here to tell you but for you to decide as only you know your relationship

In time the pain subsides, memories fade and you will learn to forgive yourself

KateL

Please don't let it eat you up. xxxx

Spinach

Why would hurting someone as much as it might be helpfull?
Using it to secure your sobriety would bring some good out of it but only you know if this kind of honesty is good. Does he need to learn from your mistake ! What would the message be ,love you more or leave you hurt. You do and it sounds like you are. Seahorse has a strong point.
I'd love to say relationships are built on honesty but everyone has skeletons in the cupboard. If I were he I wouldn't want to know, if something good comes from it great but if it all happens again you have to think really honestly about integrity.
John.

jessie65

Use this as your reason to get sober for good, and maybe eventually you will feel like something good came out of it.
I've been there. I know it sucks.

ClearMind

Many of us have done many things we regret while drunk. The important thing to realize is that you can wipe the slate clean by just moving forward. You aren't your drunk self - just move forward!

least

You can't undo the past, all you can do is make today better. Forgive yourself and move forward again.

thecultsection

Face forward and remember that you are better than your mistakes.

FreeOwl

when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.....

face up to what you've done if you love and respect this man.

And have a plan to get sober - if that is truly what you want... which it sounds like to me.

May you find strength, clarity, self-forgiveness and self-love out of this dark place and may you choose and maintain sobriety.

Kris47

Go with your gut instincts. Most importantly, get sober. Only you can do what is right for you. Hopefully, we all get second chances.

Wishing you the best and all the rest.

Gakx

This forum is not large enough enough to list the things I've done minus the black out moments. I tell you this, I have cheated many times, lied, stolen, started fights for no good reason, drove drunk, been arrested, etc. That is NOT who I am. I bet many of these wonderful people here would second those sentiments, we are not bad people. Alcohol messes with our neurons. Forgive yourself but damn the alcohol and banish it.

quitforme79

I have cheated while drinking. It's awful. When we quit drinking and STAY sober we don't rack up more negative consequences. We actually heal. And stop hurting others. The good person in us shines through. I hope you can learn from this experience and take your recovery seriously.