Jzt

Hi
I am a partner of an alcoholic, weed and meth user. Alcohol and weed pretty much daily, Meth I don't even know the extent of the addiction it's become hard to tell wen he is on it or not now.
We have 2 children 2 and 4 and he has an older son from previous relationship who is 6.
I believe he has used all 3 since a young age but not continually, he goes through periods. I didn't learn about the meth until I was pregnant with our youngest. we became violent with eachother.
I have probably enabled the weed use (I actually prefer him stoned, pretty sad I know) but the alcohol and meth I cannot tolerate.
I came home from work yesterday wit our kids to find him asleep on the couch, the stove on, element burning red with a glass pipe sitting on it for who knows how long it was sooo hot! (now I know why he desperately needed me to get him a lighter) and a lit tealite candle in the room where he smokes weed that had completely melted.
I tried so so hard not to flip out but I did a little. i threw the pipe in the outside bin which made him angry because apparently "it wasn't his" so I took off with the kids before things could escalate.
I know he needs professional help, I guess im struggling with setting boundaries and being consistent with them. I find it hard to draw the line between helping him and allowing him to disrespect me and the family home. Am I enabling him just by staying with him? I sometimes feel like he will never stop because he knows im there for him and he has a family to come home to. he helps pay the bills and is currently working so I feel like I cant just kick him out...He knows its all wrong and admits he has a problem but he cant seem to take the step to get help. feeling lost and frustrated its hard watching someone you love lose control

marchHazel

post on the alanon forum. a moderated will contact you soon likely

the friend of people suffering thread. they will know how to offer support to you. be well. you are among friends

Jzt

Thank you. Alanon forum? is that on here?

marchHazel

Yes. its another forum, look on the main page. they are very kind

you are going to be alright. things will work out

Jzt

cool , found it thank you

Leana

Something sounds a little off with what he's doing. Are you sure its Meth? Falling asleep after smoking meth is not the typical behavior, in fact usually meth users are up for days. Not quite sure what he's doing but whatever it is keep yourself and kids safe, next time he could burn your house down while you and kids are asleep. This is dangerous. I hope you find some help on here.

marchHazel

they will be of support. hang in.

least

I would not want to be raising kids in that environment. Something bad could happen. Can't you move out with the kids? He seems to know you're not leaving and thinks he has the right to do that stuff. It can't be good for the kids.

marchHazel

just hang in.

people will offer support.

Dee74

Reading that I worry about the kids too JZT, and you.
I would have lost it too, and more than a little.

I'm glad you found the Family and Friends forum - you'll find a lot of support there too.

I hope you can work through this and make the decision that best for your own welfare and that of your kids.

D

Jzt

Yes, it's definitely meth, I believe he was planning to smoke some but fell asleep before he did. And I believe he was trying to use the stove because he didn't have a lighter. He doesn't drink at home, mostly after work. Until now he hasn't done meth at home (that I know of) this has opened my eyes to how bad it has gotten that he's doing it in the home! Not happy. I wouldn't move out, I'm not uprooting my kids, I would make him leave.. And I know that won't go down well. Planning on going to a meeting this Monday night coming.