Courage To Change 01/22/2014
Courage To Change 01/22/2014
I tried so hard to learn detachment. Living with active alcoholism was confusing, and the idea of detachment seemed vague. The alcoholic in my life was a restless sleeper who fell out of bed almost every night. Feeling it my duty, I would always help him back into bed. One night, after attending Al-Anon meetings for a while, I stepped over his body and got into bed, leaving him on the floor. Triumphantly, I went to my next Al-Anon meeting and told them, "I finally learned detachment!" "Well, "they said, "that's not exactly what we meant. We meant detachment with love."
I left that meeting with a new understanding that I put into practice the very next time my loved one fell out of bed. When I found him on the floor, I still didn't help him into bed. But I did put a blanket over him before stepping over his body and going to bed myself. This, to me, was detachment with love.
With my Higher Power's help, I will keep a loving blanket of detachment with me. I will cover my loved ones with it, whether or not they struggle with a disease, keeping in mind that when I am dealing with other human beings, I am dealing with children of God.
I left that meeting with a new understanding that I put into practice the very next time my loved one fell out of bed. When I found him on the floor, I still didn't help him into bed. But I did put a blanket over him before stepping over his body and going to bed myself. This, to me, was detachment with love.
Today's Reminder
With my Higher Power's help, I will keep a loving blanket of detachment with me. I will cover my loved ones with it, whether or not they struggle with a disease, keeping in mind that when I am dealing with other human beings, I am dealing with children of God.
"Detachment is not isolation, nor should it remain focused on not enabling the sick behavior of the past. Detachment is not a wall; it is a bridge across which the Al-Anon may begin a new approach to life and relationships generally."
~Al-Anon: Family Treatment Tool in Alcoholism
When I found him on the floor, I still didn't help him into bed. But I did put a blanket over him before stepping over his body and going to bed myself.
I have found my best friend passed out many times over the years and I always make sure I put a blanket on him before leaving. One time we were both at a 4th of July barbeque in the park and he passed out. I really felt it was not my job to carry him to his house so I just took his wallet and his backpack, left a bus ticket in his pocket so he had a way to go home and would not get robbed then proceeded home myself.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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In my opinion, detachment with love is one of the hardest concepts to understand and implement. It's sometimes so much easier to get angry, build a wall, and declare myself the winner. But I want healthy relationships in my life, so I'm always reminding myself to look at my own behaviour and ask if there was a gentler, and perhaps humane, way I could have done things.
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