Why do I think my life is boring?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
Why do I think my life is boring?
I have been sober almost 17 months and like most my life is better. The day I went into rehab I was just hoping to keep my family together, keep my job, my house, yadda yadda. By some miracle I have done that. Shouldn't that just be enough for me. The last couple of weeks have just been a grind and part of me is just looking for some excitement. Something crazy. I am sure it is my alcoholic brain and I kind of hate myself for not being "content" with all I have. Maybe it has nothing to do with alcohol. Maybe I just need to get out of my rut. Not sure. It seems like I am having a bit of a pity party. I am!! Any words of wisdom would be great.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
Good question. It seems like I need something to look forward to. Can't wait until I get to do ______?? Not really sure. Maybe part of being an alcoholic is that I loved the crazyness and that was part of the problem. Maybe it is just a bad few days and I will get over it and move on.
PS: Do you know someone at the Playboy Mansion:-)!
PS: Do you know someone at the Playboy Mansion:-)!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
What about switching up your routine? Taking up the gym, or some sort of hobby that you have always wanted? I do hear ya, and I think with a little amount of rearranging, or implementing, you can get back to feeling inspired.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,637
Hiya FamilyMan, my life with booze, in my head was, every days a holiday, and I always had a drink to celebrate with.
I, too have got a lot more boring life with no hangovers, no more regrets, no more embarrassments, no more booze.
I know what you mean, I feel a bit restless and want to jump out of a plane or something.
I'm talking nonsense, sorry. But, I wouldn't swap this life for what I had and I'm sure you wouldn't either with nearly 17 months under your belt, congratulations by the way.
The world is your oyster
I, too have got a lot more boring life with no hangovers, no more regrets, no more embarrassments, no more booze.
I know what you mean, I feel a bit restless and want to jump out of a plane or something.
I'm talking nonsense, sorry. But, I wouldn't swap this life for what I had and I'm sure you wouldn't either with nearly 17 months under your belt, congratulations by the way.
The world is your oyster
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by FamilyMan2153 
I have been sober almost 17 months and like most my life is better. The day I went into rehab I was just hoping to keep my family together, keep my job, my house, yadda yadda. By some miracle I have done that. Shouldn't that just be enough for me. The last couple of weeks have just been a grind and part of me is just looking for some excitement. Something crazy. I am sure it is my alcoholic brain and I kind of hate myself for not being "content" with all I have. Maybe it has nothing to do with alcohol. Maybe I just need to get out of my rut. Not sure. It seems like I am having a bit of a pity party. I am!! Any words of wisdom would be great.
Many people would agree that you've already tackled the hard part.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Well, you said all you were saving during recovery. Think of the other side of the coin. Living with no home, no family and no job would not be very exciting. Maybe you should work on finding a hobby you really enjoy (no substances or alcohol involved) so you can focus on that.
For today, be happy you gained sobriety. Also be happy your family is intact and your family members are not suffering, as well as yourself.
For today, be happy you gained sobriety. Also be happy your family is intact and your family members are not suffering, as well as yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
If you have the expendable income and the time something that worked for me in the past was to travel to a place that is very different in culture then where you live now and a lot of poverty. go for at least a month. the longer the better.. stay in low budget places that cater to locals not tourists..do as the Romans do. enjoy yourself
some people might think this is crazy but believe me it will open up your eyes
some people might think this is crazy but believe me it will open up your eyes
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
I was just going to say it could be the time of year too. When I was living in Northern Virginia, I would get so down and uninspired this time of year. The darkness and cold just killed me. Living in Scottsdale, I never feel that way this time of year. If you can figure out what you really, really enjoy and then plan something around it may get you out of your funk.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
I'm sure this will pass. Look, life can be boring at times. And that us ok. Read, run, learn to Salasa dance, make love with your wife... often, play with your kids, tie flies, play the guitar, take pictures, give some hope to the newcomers that show up here desperate and burnt by alcohol.
You are sober. Now get on with life.
You are sober. Now get on with life.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by FamilyMan2153
Good question. It seems like I need something to look forward to.
Originally Posted by Dr. Seuss
Think left and think right and think low and think high.
Oh, the Thinks you can think up if only you try.
Oh, the Thinks you can think up if only you try.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
Difficulty negotiating the ups and downs of life probably contributed to the reasons we drank.
I read somewhere that if something bad/uncomfortable happens and our coping skills are inadequate, we are likely to turn to substances to make the bad/uncomfortable feeling go away. That's certainly true for me. I am learning to sit with the uncomfortable feeling and not freak out or try to medicate it in some way.
I agree with the others who say to get busy doing stuff, but I'd also try to 'sit' with the bored feeling and see if you can just be ok with it. The more I try and push stuff away, the harder it pushes back. If I can just sit gently with the discomfort, it generally dissolves on it's own. It's ok to be bored or unhappy sometimes. Human emotions are varied and complex and we're not going to be happy all the time. It's normal to feel a range of emotions at different ends of the spectrum.
The expressions 'irritable, restless and discontent' is an AA phrase that describes the un-recovered alcoholic. I completely relate to this too. When I start to experience one of those states, I take a look at my recovery and see what's going on. The suggestion to reach out to newcomers is a good one, I think.
I read somewhere that if something bad/uncomfortable happens and our coping skills are inadequate, we are likely to turn to substances to make the bad/uncomfortable feeling go away. That's certainly true for me. I am learning to sit with the uncomfortable feeling and not freak out or try to medicate it in some way.
I agree with the others who say to get busy doing stuff, but I'd also try to 'sit' with the bored feeling and see if you can just be ok with it. The more I try and push stuff away, the harder it pushes back. If I can just sit gently with the discomfort, it generally dissolves on it's own. It's ok to be bored or unhappy sometimes. Human emotions are varied and complex and we're not going to be happy all the time. It's normal to feel a range of emotions at different ends of the spectrum.
The expressions 'irritable, restless and discontent' is an AA phrase that describes the un-recovered alcoholic. I completely relate to this too. When I start to experience one of those states, I take a look at my recovery and see what's going on. The suggestion to reach out to newcomers is a good one, I think.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
All good stuff. Thank you very much. One thing I used to do a lot more of was meditate. Used to love it when I first got sober and I think that is something I will do again. TigerLili got me thinking that I may need to be ok with some of these feelings. I live in Wisconsin and it has been a terrible winter with much more to go. Long, dark, cold days but it is part of life. If I was laughing, smiling and happy all the time people would think I was nuts!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
I'm glad you're posting about this. I really understand about the winter weather. I live in Eastern Canada and it's been a cold, brutal winter. I am someone who loves walking so it's tough.
A Gratitude list is always a good idea. Have you made other changes in your life besides stopping drinking - taken up new activities, met new people?
A Gratitude list is always a good idea. Have you made other changes in your life besides stopping drinking - taken up new activities, met new people?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by FamilyMan2153
One thing I used to do a lot more of was meditate.
I am lucky I live where it's sunshine year round. I don't know how I would cope with long, dark days for months at a time.
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