Nikkabean326

Making the decision to not drink anymore has had a.. sobering affect on me. Ha. Ha.

Do you find you view drinkers differently? You go to a party. You have a get together. People are drinking. Some are getting buzzed. Some are just falling over drunk. How do you see them now?

The reason why I ask this is because I was on Facebook a few moments ago and I saw a picture of one of my cousins at a party. They all held up their arms to click shot glasses. The next photo was them downing the drink. My first initial thought was.. "Oh, kids. How silly"

It's amazing how much I never want to feel that buzzed sensation. I have been clear headed and productive. I've been eating healthy and exercising every day. Well, almost every day ;-) I've been cooking like a mad woman. I've been reading books left and right. I just feel.... good. I feel like my relationship has improved in the past three weeks. The other evening I was bummed because I didn't get a food processor delivered like the website had said. My boyfriend brought me home a bouquet of flowers just because..

Wonderful things can happen when you just decide to live a clean life. In all aspects. Not even just alcohol. With food. All of that processed crap that we use to fuel our bodies is killing us. We need to strengthen our minds which is why I'm just devouring books left and right. Leaving behind the drugs and alcohol is just a start to a satisfying and happy life. I think in order to reach unlimited and pure happiness, all of these things need to come in to play.

So.. I leave you with this advice, go open up a book today. Enrich those minds that are just thirsty for knowledge. Take a walk, maybe. Sweat a little bit. Do something good for *you*. You deserve it.

FreeOwl

sometimes it strikes me; 'why? why are all these people needing to down a toxic substance to celebrate or to relate to one another?'.

other times that little voice in my head sends me sort of a nostalgic feeling... almost a longing, but then I sometimes catch it and ask; 'but why on earth would I WANT to do that? And why do they?"

I'm grateful that I can honor my choice of sobriety today and that even though sometimes I may need to confront a feeling of being different or left out or lesser or whatever - that feeling passes and what remains is the wonderful feeling of being awake, aware, conscious and free.

Tang

I think about cultures where no alcohol is consumed yet they get on just fine. This includes both aboriginal peoples and modern parts of the world.

Ethos23

My first inclination is to view drinkers in a negative light, but when my rational brain kicks in I think "to each their own." A lot of people put up with a lot of crap from me when I was drinking, so I can't berate them for their activities.

To be honest, I believe the reason my first reaction is negative is that I am in early sobriety and I am still jealous of people who can drink normally (not to say that everyone else does). Again, my rational brain has come to the conclusion that I cannot drink normally. I never have and never will.

I am certainly more cognizant now of people's relationship with alcohol. They don't even have to be drinking to romanticize the activity. I work with a gentleman that brings up drinking wine or relaxing with a drink at least 2 times per day, if not more. I think that is part of the "high" he gets from drinking - romanticizing it prior to actually drinking.

sugarbear1

My cousin doesn't cook. She lives in bars. For food, but also mostly for drinking.

That's her. Not me. I can't drink. It doesn't really matter what I think about others, I can only control me.

Cathryn2001

Love this post.

I agree about not wanting to feel that buzzed sensation ever again. The idea of feeling a "lack of control" bothers me, and I have no idea how I functioned in that state for so many years. I often drank in the evening (as a reward) while I did work from my job. Now, I'm much more efficient with that work (don't need any rewards because I'm able to get it done, then, move on to good stuff like reading/watching TV/ cooking). My house is cleaner/more organized than ever, too.

Life just seems easier. And happier.

As for my thoughts about drinkers--I'm of the Allen Carr philosophy--I see alcohol as a poison (no nutritional value, health "benefits" can be obtained by other foods, generally an acquired taste, etc.) so I feel like I "get it" and they don't. This is a work in progress, as I still get occasional pangs for the life I feel like I might be missing (wine tastings, tailgating). The "poison" mindset reminds me that I'm not missing anything beneficial.

CAPTAINZING2000

There but for the grace of god go I

ScottFromWI

I try not to judge or make any assumptions about other drinkers as I really have no way of knowing anything about them. They could be alcoholics or casual drinkers. Most people aren't alcoholics so assuming someone is because they are drunk is pretty stereotypical. Additionally, I cannot control other people's consumption of alcohol, we as alcoholics should be acutely aware of that fact.

What we can control is our sobriety, and how we go about it. That's where I choose to focus most of my attention.

Oldselfagain

Well I can remember feeling all good about my sobriety and how great everything was...I think they call that the pink cloud. I can also remember falling off the wagon after that. Sobriety has its ups and downs...the ups are great, the downs are tough. I've learned from the falls and feel better equipped to deal with the downs. I think I got complacent during the pink cloud stage, thus setting up my fall. Be prepared and have a plan.

Dan Dare

Right on, Scott. I don't judge. It was my decision to not drink. I don't hold anything against people that do.
If they were in my face about it I might be put off a bit, yeah?

DoPerdition

I remember that I did not and could not drink like them. I got drunk before I went out, drank as many shots as everyone else and then went home to drink even more. It was hell, even if the socializing was "fun". Some people can have a few shots. I cant. I don't try to brow beat people for this as I think resentment is a step away from relapse. At least for me.

Charlie117926

Thanks Nikkabean

I needed your post today. I was feeling a little weak when I woke up (3 days sober). I felt great just weak in that I'm thinking about it. I believe I will make the family a nice meal tonight and start reading that book I have intended to read for the past three months. Thanks.

least

I find drinkers boring and obnoxious... just like I used to be.

anyistoomuch

Great post! I don't view drinkers differently (still surrounded by them), but I definitely view drinking differently. I am early in sobriety so on some days I think drinking alcohol is the dumbest thing i have ever done, but other days there is still some missing the lightness i used to feel when i drank wine.

but- like you i am so much more productive and so much happier in general. i don't want to ever feel the need to drink again!

Nikkabean326

Great responses here I hope my post didn't come out wrong! I'm not a judgmental person at all. Hell, most of my good friends drink a few at parties. I guess the post was more.. how their actions make you think about your sobriety? Does that make any sense? For example, when I viewed the Facebook photo of my cousins I smiled and just felt relieved and grateful that I've made the choice to put those days behind me.

Mizzuno

I do not think much about others who drink. I am not around it all that often either. When I was younger, I had a lot of fun with friends. I would not change it for the world in all honesty. The experience of clubbing, bars, and hanging out was necessary for me. I had no clue that it would lead to my own demise and then a huge awakening as to what is truthful for me now.

I did have a repulsion to people who drank when I first got sober years ago. I then relapsed, got sober, relapsed, got sober, relapsed, got sober. The conclusion that I have made is that I am the one who has the issue. The ones in the bar, taking shots and having fun with their friends is something that I once did. It does not equate to alcoholism for others, or to the fact that those individuals are not living a healthy life. Your truth, my truth, and another person's truth may not be the same.

So, I do agree that implementing healthy choices, foods, and readings are great in life. We can learn a lot. Being too extreme with any one thing, especially health, can lead a person into the candy store binging on skittles because of the lack of balance. Extremism is par for the course with the alcoholic disposition. I try to walk in the middle and allow myself the freedom to eat a candy bar after my dinner of veggies with barley.

You are doing well. Keep up the good work. Thank you for this post. It really got me thinking.

Garen

Yeah people get annoying when they get drunk. But most people I know never reach that point -- just me. There are a few exceptions and they happen to be related to me. But most people can have a few drinks and then stop. It's something I can't even comprehend, they are wired completely different from me. Their experience with alcohol is probably night and day different from mine.

But you are right about exercising and reading. I have been visiting fitness websites again trying to get reinterested in weight lifting. I think back when I was a gym rat and man, I had fun. I remember the excitement I had being able to add weight and taking a step up beating my old records.

And I read tones, too. You should see my bookself. It feels great going to bed after reading a few chapters in a good book. I like Franz Kafka, George Orwell, most non-fiction and Sci-Fi.

Willdoit

I am only sober 10 days , I saw a pal drunk today and thought what a waste of time money and health , he is an alcoholic but can't see it . In many ways it helped me as I thought why do that , I don't envy drinkers who are in control.

I guess I feel it's a waste of time money and health

ru12

I feel fortunate that I don't have to drink now.

alphaomega

Hate it. Hate the smell, the behavior that ensues as a result, all of it.

I feel gratitude beyond measure to have barely escaped.