Splash29

Maybe I shouldn't be as angry as I am right now, but I feel super abandoned by the people in AA. I haven't been to my homegroup since the first week of december and no one has sent even a text message asking about me. Maybe its super selfish, but im like what the **** is the point of AA if no one cares about me anyways. I've been to two meetings this whole month. The only people that want to hang out with my are my drinking friends I constantly turn down. WTF is the point? I was super pissed off yesterday.

I just don't have any connection to AA I feel like. Like I could take it or leave.

Splash29

And I am NOT doing okay btw. I had a melt down at my chirpractor yesterday about america collapsing and then my pshyciatrsit put me on stronger drugs that basically knock me out. So now I am 7 months sober and still ******* lost and confused as ever.

ScottFromWI

It's pretty common for people to not show up at AA meetings, and it's really about your effort to get sober for yourself and seek help when you need it. I'd suggest getting back to the meetings on your own rather than waiting for someone else to drag you back in.

Garen

Hi Sulfuric,

I am sorry to read that you are having trouble right now. I wish I was able to get 7 months clean, that's an amazing achievement in my mind. Hopefully I will get there, though.

As for your AA group, I am not sure having only been to a couple meetings total so far in my life. Did you try to call one of them?

I do care, though. I wouldn't wish alcoholism on my worst enemy. If you would like to chat or whatever send me a message. I'd enjoy hearing from you quite a bit, actually. I have to leave back to work but I will be on again at 5PM. I am early in sobriety so I am going to try to stay close by.

But seriously, 7 months sober...

Anna

I think that you need motivation, no matter how you decide to get and stay sober. Do you have any ph numbers of people you met in AA? If so, why not give someone a call and let them know how you're doing.

I hope you talk to your psych dr and let him know that you feel the medication is too strong for you.

least

Go back to the meetings. You can't blame them for not reaching out to you, you've got to do some reaching out yourself. Go back and tell them how you're feeling. They can't read your mind, tell them how you feel.

aasharon90

I hear you. Isn't that all we want people
in recovery to say to us? Yes, I read your
share and even tho it's cyber recovery, I
did hear you thru what you wrote.

I went to many meetings just slipping in
quietly, by passing many, trying to be
invisible to grab my coffee and sit in the
back of the room unnoticed.

All I wanted to do was hear what I needed
to hear in that one hour to take home with
me for the rest of the day and not drink or
go crazy with family and lifes problems.

Whenever I met up with my sponsor, she
always made an effort to include me in
conversations and introduced me to the
many friends she had in recovery, so that
when I went to my meetings alone, there
were people, I recognized and they of me,
enough to smile, shake a hand , sit by
and say hello.

Because I wanted what my sponsor had
in recovery, I followed her in her footsteps
by her actions which in my book was a
shining example of who I wanted to be.

My sponsor loved to bake and so many
knew her not only for that gift, but for
her generosity, caring, giving gift of service
work. In doing so, I learned from her and
mimicked her actions which open the door
for strangers in meetings to know me,
accept me, and make me feel apart of.

I never stayed long at my meetings because
I always had my little family to get home to,
but in just that hour each day, every other day,
once or twice a week, to many different meetings,
people in recovery knew who I was and who
my sponsor was.

In time, someone will remember seeing you,
seeing your smile, remember your handshake,
remember some kind words of encouragement
you share with them. I have to remember myself,
that in order to receive, I have to give.

Recovery belongs to me, just like yours
belongs to you. I went out to get what
I needed to survive at each meetings and
here online to help me build a strong foundation
in recovery and learn to live life on lifes
terms and be healthy, happy and honest.

You will too.

TigerLili

If you like your home group, keep going and don't be 'that guy who doesn't call people' when you notice they aren't around for a few weeks.

sugarbear1

Do you call anyone on a regular basis? Have a sponsor? Reach out to others? Work those steps?

Some people believe we must travel our own paths. If someone isn't reaching out.....they gotta go through what they go through to realize it's up to them to create their sober life....

just a thought

hugs. you aren't alone today

FreeOwl

I wonder; what have you done to foster the connection you're seeking?

Is not your sobriety and the support you feel you need, first and foremost YOUR responsibility?

Did you pick up the phone and call or text anyone?

Could this be a clever ploy by your alcoholic voice to convince you 'nobody cares', you don't need AA, and you may as well just drink???

Poor me... poor me.... POUR me a drink......

Be careful.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but maybe what it's telling you is get back to your meetings.

Splash29

Thats a really intersting perspective. My alcoholic mind maybe twisting this my perception of what is really happening turning me against aa.

I have not called anyone. I haven't called my sponsor in like a month. I have gone though bad anxiety recently and I have no idea how I haven't picked up a drink. Just the memory of lying on the floor drunk not knowing how I got home alone was enough to keep me sober.

I just been so angry at AA recently. And I have no reason to. I guess you get out what you put in. I need to just get to a meeting and stop letting anxiety be an excuse.

But I went facebook stalking and saw that they had a christmas party at one of their houses (not at a meeting) and I became real upset over not being invited. But again its not like I've made the effort to be in touch. Not like I would have even gone had I been invited. I wish it was easier for me to make connections with people. Doesn't matter whether its in AA, work or the super market. I can't ever talk to people.

Wastinglife

Sounds like you're having a moment with internal negative thinking. I do it all the time. I ruminate about perceived slights that go back years even though it's all made up in my head. I'm sure if you went to your meeting people would be glad to see you. I certainly don't think you should be sitting at home and getting upset why no one has made the effort to call you. You know where there are everyday at a certain time, right?

FreeOwl

"you get what you put in"....

true enough.

I've also found in aa "you get what you ask for"....

Sometimes we have to let people know what we want. They can't read our minds.

I went to a meeting yesterday where there were a bunch of photos from a barbecue the local group had had back in the fall. I suddenly felt a little left out. But where was I in the fall?

I was practicing some 'controlled drinking' after figuring I didn't need aa.

Well, I was wrong about that. But that's where I wound up after gradually spending a year and a half letting my alcoholic voice do the driving and not really making an effort.

You might consider going to a meeting and just laying it out there. Share what's going on for you. Call your sponsor. Tell your sponsor what's going on. The whole point of fellowship is support but as the program says, our approach is attraction, not marketing. You need to own your piece of this.

Give it another shot and tell "slick" to shut up for a while.

Ruby2

I did this. Not calling. No reaching out. Stopped going to meetings. Never called my sponsor. No one called me either but then I wasn't calling them either. Goes both ways. I relapsed. My husband, also an alcoholic and addict, went through what you are describing. Got super angry with people in his home group. Stopped going to meetings. IF he did go he would come home ranting about people. Stopped calling his sponsor. He relapsed. Big time. I had seen him do this at least twice before during recovery - got angry with people in AA, stopped calling his sponsor or sponsor shopped, stopped going to meetings. This always preceded a giant leap "out there" which always got worse and worse each time he did it.

I think the earlier post that your AV might be doing this is a very valuable and insightful suggestion.

ScottFromWI

If you can't talk, just start by listening. There is no requirement to share at meetings, but eventually you might want to as it can be very helpful.

I'd highly recommend staying clear of facebook for anything other than entertainment as well, your recovery plan should be based on what you need and where you are rather than what someone chooses to post on what amounts to a vanity blog.