New to being clean
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 78
New to being clean
Hi everyone,
I recently decided to end my dependence on opiates. Enough was enough. I blew through all my money, couldn't function in school without a buzz on, and was growing increasingly dependent on the artificial high that always seemed to wear off too fast. I really want a more sustainable way of life. I recently kicked and went through withdrawl for about a week, which, needless to say was anything but pleasant. I'm 21 days clean and plan on staying that way for the long haul. I have been looking for any information I can find online about recovery and how to stay quit, and stumbled upon this forum. The posts I've read have made me believe this is a source of advice and support from people with much more experience living sober/clean than I have. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I want to be clean. I guess I could add that I'm having trouble filling this huge void left behind by drugs. I quit and my "friends" left with the meds. Oh well. I guess this is a lot more than just not doing drugs, huh? Anyways, greetings to all, I plan on changing my life.
I recently decided to end my dependence on opiates. Enough was enough. I blew through all my money, couldn't function in school without a buzz on, and was growing increasingly dependent on the artificial high that always seemed to wear off too fast. I really want a more sustainable way of life. I recently kicked and went through withdrawl for about a week, which, needless to say was anything but pleasant. I'm 21 days clean and plan on staying that way for the long haul. I have been looking for any information I can find online about recovery and how to stay quit, and stumbled upon this forum. The posts I've read have made me believe this is a source of advice and support from people with much more experience living sober/clean than I have. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I want to be clean. I guess I could add that I'm having trouble filling this huge void left behind by drugs. I quit and my "friends" left with the meds. Oh well. I guess this is a lot more than just not doing drugs, huh? Anyways, greetings to all, I plan on changing my life.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 848
Welcome to SR Clarity. I had a brief struggle with opiates but alcohol was my undoing.
I'm sure someone will post something more useful soon. But with alcohol, I find that filling the sheer time void of being incognito for hours is a first step. If I don't have time to think about it, I don't.
I'm sure someone will post something more useful soon. But with alcohol, I find that filling the sheer time void of being incognito for hours is a first step. If I don't have time to think about it, I don't.
Hi Clarity, I love your positivity.
My addiction was alcohol but as you observed there are lots of people here who will be able to help you, lots of info to read, you will have seen the stickies at the top.
All the best, you did the right thing. X
My addiction was alcohol but as you observed there are lots of people here who will be able to help you, lots of info to read, you will have seen the stickies at the top.
All the best, you did the right thing. X
welcome. kicking opiates sucks. I kicked cold turkey after doing dope for over a year. It was a while ago though, like mid 90's. Ive been smart enough not to run dope since then. that hurt.
keep up the good work and be careful not to let the addiction try to trick you into thinking just doing a little would be ok.
peace
keep up the good work and be careful not to let the addiction try to trick you into thinking just doing a little would be ok.
peace
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 78
day 46. Life is meh. Things are going really well otherwise, there's just these meh portions of every day with these yay portions mixed in. But the yay portions are getting longer and the meh portions are getting shorter. I hope this makes sense
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 78
I would like to solidify my reasons for staying clean. Maybe others will identify with these things.
I get chills when I actually FEEL something. Like a strong emotion, or a sense of accomplishment, or sadness, makes me feel like I have never felt before whilst on the opes. I think for the fist time in a while I can feel emotions.
I find things funny. Almost to the point of insanity, like laughing uncontrollably when someone says something funny. It's like I forgot how to laugh.
I feel disgust for the person I had become. The people I used to associate with.
I feel like I'm plugging into a higher reality of existence. I see people living in the moment and want to be able to do that. I guess I'm learning.
I want people to see the LIFE beaming out of my eyeballs. I want to be contagiously positive and be an example for my brother. Not to long ago if you looked in my eyes you wouldn't see much going on, but I want to get to the place where I have a presence, something like a mystical life force that spills out and into others around me.
I just noticed these things are kind of spiritual. Huh.
Anyways, I'm starting to live again and I just wanted to share. Thanks for all your love and support.
I get chills when I actually FEEL something. Like a strong emotion, or a sense of accomplishment, or sadness, makes me feel like I have never felt before whilst on the opes. I think for the fist time in a while I can feel emotions.
I find things funny. Almost to the point of insanity, like laughing uncontrollably when someone says something funny. It's like I forgot how to laugh.
I feel disgust for the person I had become. The people I used to associate with.
I feel like I'm plugging into a higher reality of existence. I see people living in the moment and want to be able to do that. I guess I'm learning.
I want people to see the LIFE beaming out of my eyeballs. I want to be contagiously positive and be an example for my brother. Not to long ago if you looked in my eyes you wouldn't see much going on, but I want to get to the place where I have a presence, something like a mystical life force that spills out and into others around me.
I just noticed these things are kind of spiritual. Huh.
Anyways, I'm starting to live again and I just wanted to share. Thanks for all your love and support.
Clarity, I see you haven't posted on any threads, have you checked out any of the substance abuse threads on here? Or even the class of March 2014,( or Jan 2014 as it's when you quit) mostly drinkers but there will be some with substance abuse too,you can read and post with others who ALS have great days and meh days. Let's face it Everyone had great days and meh days ! you are doing so well be proud x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 78
I think I had a slip. I smoked some cannabis for two days straight and drank a bit. No pills though thank god. It sucks 'cause I feel like a fraud. I hope this doesn't mean back to square one. I'm determined to not let this lead to a full relapse, but the self hatred is killing me right now.
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