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Things Are Getting Better...

Old 01-18-2014, 08:17 PM
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Things Are Getting Better...

So, as of yesterday, I had decided to do my recovery locally--versus the 90 day rehab. The reasons were all financial--I didn't want to lose my apartment, my car, etc. It had nothing to do with not wanting to recover. But if I went there to the rehab and short-term disability was rejected, I would love everything. and if it was accepted, the loss of income (it is only 65% of what I earn) was such that I still could lose both my apartment and my car. I just foresaw myself living on the streets. As it is my finances are such that I am half a step away from it. BUT I am not there yet.

That all said, I feel like I made the right decision. I went to my first AA meeting today. I was approached by a woman who would like to be my sponsor. I have names and numbers. This will be the first day in I don't know how long (yes, even after posting on this site), that I will have remained sober. It has been hard. But not too hard. I don't feel sick. I don't feel like I am going to die. My mind does wander to the thoughts of drinking here and there. But I feel good about this. Like once this 24 hour period is over, I can believe in myself again that I can remain sober for a day. and just go from there.

I think if I keep busy--walking the dog--going to the gym--cleaning--reading--calling a friend. anything. posting here (I love SR btw), I will be ok. and if I can make it 21 days, it becomes a habit, right? then the hard work of remaining sober will still be hard work but it will be routine hard work....and I will probably not even notice, right?

All the stories in the meeting today of peoples lives when they were drinking --and reading stories on SR--and my own life--it just baffles my mind that the universe would put drugs and alcohol here. I mean, it is "just" a beverage or what have you-- but it quite literally destroys lives. ends friendships. makes people do things they would never in a million years do if they were sober. severs family ties. creates poverty. alcohol (and other substances, but this one I know more of), is literally the worst thing I can think of. I guess any addiction (gambling, food, sex, etc) can destroy lives. but this kind of creeps up and you look up and everything you had is all upended and wrong. nothing makes sense. and it takes time to even realize what happened.

ugh.


I'm done ranting. but really, alcohol is terrible stuff. seriously bad. (I know I am not telling anyone here anything they don't know, but I;ve just been thinking this all day and I had to get it out there!)

Thanks everyone.

here's to the next 3 or 4 hours...and I am all set for today. >)
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Old 01-18-2014, 08:22 PM
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This is a really good first step Nicole
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Old 01-18-2014, 09:02 PM
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Hang in there, Nicole. This is my first long sober period ever (20 days) an I feel fantastic! You can do it!
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Old 01-18-2014, 09:06 PM
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Brilliant news nicole, you seem to have your head around everything. X
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Old 01-18-2014, 09:20 PM
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A lot of people never go to rehab and just get sober with AA Ive seen. Ive been to 7 rehabs but the only time ive been able to stop was when I just said enough and stopped and eventually got some help. Whatever works but I really think the most important thing is a person has to really want it. Im just stopped myself and trying to stop drinking and using and Im trying to do it on my own. Know Ill probably have to seek something more out than just here SR cause Im just worried its get too hard but whatever. I am grateful to finally be seeing I have to change and just can't keep drinking and using narcotics.

take care
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Old 01-18-2014, 09:23 PM
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Good for you. Sounds like you're on the right track by going to meetings and staying connected.

I agree, alcohol is nasty stuff. It causes more damage than one could ever imagine. I've seen it destroy lives, families, and relationships. No longer!!!
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Old 01-19-2014, 01:06 AM
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There are so many ways to get and stay sober. I'm doing it with the help of my counselor and daily visits to SR.

Keep doing whatever works for you.
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Old 01-19-2014, 04:48 AM
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Glad you are doing so well xxxx
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Old 01-19-2014, 05:08 AM
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Congratulations on your state of mind. Soon after an unsteady beginning and the alcohol was removed from my system permanent recovery was needed and the work path was much more enjoyable. I went to meetings where recovery was the topic and how to achieve it. The rewards are so refreshing and long lasting however a lot of work was required at times.
The whole process starts with NOT picking up the first drink, even if we want to.

BE WELL
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Old 01-19-2014, 05:15 AM
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congratulations.... and I'm glad for you, to see such positives in your words and your mindset. That will benefit you greatly. Make no mistake; it won't always feel 'easy' nor will it always feel like Things Are Getting Better....

but if you remember to be 100% honest with yourself about how far you've come and the Way Things Used To Be... and you keep on doing the work, taking action, working your sobriety - it WILL be better.

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Old 01-19-2014, 05:22 AM
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I just want to thank everyone at SR soooo much for all your help and love and support these past few weeks--particularly the past week.

I am happy to report that I made it a full 24 hours without drinking. I did it. I was beginning to think it was impossible. I feel better. A lot better.

Just wanted to start today by thanking the people that helped me wake up feeling good for the first time in a long time today.
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Old 01-19-2014, 05:24 AM
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Originally Posted by nicole100 View Post
I just want to thank everyone at SR soooo much for all your help and love and support these past few weeks--particularly the past week.

I am happy to report that I made it a full 24 hours without drinking. I did it. I was beginning to think it was impossible. I feel better. A lot better.

Just wanted to start today by thanking the people that helped me wake up feeling good for the first time in a long time today.
RIGHT ON!!!

24 down, and beauty ahead!!!!

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Old 01-19-2014, 08:39 AM
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Great post Nicole!!
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