Crimki

Hey everyone. Today marks day 13 of stone sobriety. The other day I went out to a bar with friends where I have never been without usually,leaving plastered. A cpl people i went with kept pressuring me "you've done so well... I'm proud of you ... Ones not going to do anything..." So being friends with the bartender I got him to pour me a ginger ale and essentially I tricked the people I was with so they'd get off my back. Now to the question i love red wine, however what do you guys think about na red wine to drink when out with friends or at dinner parties etc. just to take some of the pressure off..

Carlotta

If you put people pleasing ahead of your sobriety you are on a very slippery road.
Aside from going to bars, tricking your friends by ordering ginger ale instead of booze and looking up non alcoholic wine what are you doing for your recovery?

jdooner

Good job on staying sober. If you try and do the same things you did while drinking sober you are going to relapse. You have to change your life...sorry if this seems a bit much. I am just trying to save you a bunch of time and mental anguish.

Rule of thumb is stay out of bars. They are not meant for sober people, particularly in early sobriety. I know this is probably not the response you wanted.

Good luck.

Dee74

I found that NA anything just made me want the real thing. I was drinking something that reminded me of my drink of choice, following all the little rituals I had when drinking it....and then I'd start thinking about the real thing.

That effect would be magnified in a bar.

I know it's hard to make life changes, but everytime I hung around my drinking crew I had two choices - 1. stay miserable or 2. join the gang and go back to drinking.

Most often I picked door 2.

There is a door 3 tho - make changes to your life and what you do in it.

Zeepa

If they think "only one" is no big deal, then they should also think that none is no big deal either.

Dan Dare

...and there was misery behind door 2 as well?

CAPTAINZING2000

We had a priest many years back when, I was the lector at a Catholic church that was a member of AA and he served NA wine for communion. I'm not even aware of the properties in NA wine are there trace amounts of alcohol in it? I have a thimble full of wine weekly at communion and don't give it any thought. My purpose is different for this then to be hanging around bars etc.

Any time someone poses questions such as these, I say no to them due to the fact, if you're having to ask, you're not in your solution you're still in your disease.
Non-alcoholic beverage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

PurpleKnight

It baffles me how people say "one won't hurt", the lack of understanding of addiction, that is the problem why some are alcoholics and others can drink moderately. The ONE opens the door and it can't be shut until after a week long binge. These people if they don't respect your decision and keep putting pressure on you, are dangerous to be around.

Personally I've never tried any non alcoholic beer/wine, but I'd say that the people that you are going to be around a lot while Sober, will only get the message by stating the case that your not drinking anymore, my mates now don't mention anything, as they now just accept, but I had to have the talk, those that didn't accept it, I no longer want to be in their company.

It ruins my day dealing with clueless, non understanding people pushing their own opinions on the situation, when all I want is a Cranberry Juice!!

Dee74

Yep door no.2 always led me back to the same point of 'geez... I have to stop this...' then I'd pick door 2 again.

One heckuva loop.

D

bigsombrero

Harsh, but I can't argue with that quote. OP, if you are hanging out in bars already and hanging out with friends who are trying to get you to drink...and now you are looking at N/A wine? I'm sorry, but I think you need to make a better recovery plan here.

I can totally identify with your situation. Right after I got out of rehab....I went to a PUB for lunch. Yep, I walked right out of the treatment center and directly into the bar a couple days later! Even though I didn't drink at the meal, I was absolutely clueless as to how to lead a sober life. It wasn't until I started to change the way I lived my life that I finally got on the right track.

Please, don't research N/A wines tonight. Instead, research AA. Or read up on recovery tips or methods or other programs. Seek advice. Try and find out how those early in recovery find their way. That would be a much more productive use of your time!

awuh1

na wine... isn't that what they call juice?

Ruby2

Google whether there is alcohol in NA wines or beers. Most say there are trace amounts. I would say not to play with fire either by going to bars or drinking a look alike. Especially on early recovery.

On another note, I have had NA beer. Yuck.

least

I never drank wine for the taste. I drank it to get drunk. So fake wine wouldn't do anything for me but make me want the real thing. :

Notimetoloose

Here in Sydney there is a shock jock/ journalist, a critic of Australia's criminal justice system.
He is an alcoholic and has had a liver transplant.

In interviews he has said that he really didn't believe that he could give up the booze and even with the docs telling him the alternative was certain death.

He loves the taste of red wine. His compromise was drinking good quality non alcoholic red wine with dinner and when relaxing and at social occasions, daily.

He claims to have been sober since 2006.

Crimki, there's nothing stranger than folk. Everyone's different. You are early into your sobriety. Protect yourself.

I feel your friends at the bar mean well but they really don't appear to have a lot of insight into alcoholism.

Pissy people can really put the pressure on and to shut them up I have done similar in the past.

The NA wine could be a trigger for you. I love red wine as well, however, I am not sure if would I love it as much alcohol free....

apophylite

I buy na wine occasionally and it works for me. I don't crave the buzz or the real thing I just enjoy holding my wine glass and the taste. I will be at 90 days soon and have had this a few times. I don't pretend it's the real thing all my family and friends know in not drinking. I just enjoy it for what it is. I am fully committed to my sobriety and do not feel guilty for having it

Renarde

I don't even want to hold a wineglass in my hand. Just the thought of doing that makes me uneasy. Earlier in recovery I was interested in it, but now I know I need to stay far away from anything that seems to involve drinking rituals and behaviors.

NoJimmy

Hanging out in bars 13-days sober with friends trying to get you to drink sounds like a bad recipe to me. Your call, your decision, but I'd set the friends straight if it were me. If they continue to undermine your efforts, may be best to not be with them in that environment, or at all.
I'm not a fan of NA drinks, there's better tasting stuff to drink, and I don't need to feel like I'm participating in drinking w/o getting drunk.

LadyinBC

I don't drink the stuff, just reminds me of what I can't have.

The friends I have left don't put me in situations where I need to take some of the pressure off because I'm not drinking. I also don't put myself in these situations either. When I go to any function or event I ALWAYS have a plan for leaving early if I have to.

No situation, event, or person is more important than my sobriety and I won't risk my sobriety for any event that is for sure. That is just the way it has to be.

MaggieMai

I tried it one time. It was AWFUL. I rather have seltzer with cranberry juice than that.

By the way, I call my seltzer/cran/lime mix a "Chuck Norris."

foolsgold66

I've had non-alcoholic wine and beer before during a long period of sobriety. There is usually about one-half percent of alcohol in it, which to me meant I felt no affect. This didn't cause me any distress, but I've heard that it was the road back to drinking for others. Regardless, I spent very little time in bars. Non-alcoholic wine generally doesn't taste very good, but there are some na beers now that do. If you do choose to drink NA wine and beer I would suggest months of sobriety before you do so, not days.