kflee

I have made it 21 days sober and even though I had rough few days, it seemed pretty easy so far. I am highly educated and understand Chemistry and the body. I know that my body needs to learn how to function without drinking. I forgot how to be myself. I felt good all week and dealt with a few situations very well. So why now TODAY do I want to drink so bad? Really Really bad...I just keep justifying it in my head. I have put out the alert to husband and one sponsor, so I won't be left alone today, but today I work at three different clients, so thats lots of driving by myself. I am going to carry my ipad with me to stay on SR today.
To many things are being thrown at me right now, and I know I should stop complaining and grow up. I did this to myself...I hate how I have no problem digging the whole that I jump in, but want to get out before my feet even land.
TANTRA FOR TODAY; Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is our future, but today is a gift and that is why it is called "The Present".

PurpleKnight

Hey Kflee, yeap sticking close to SR is a great plan!!

I don't think there's much rhyme or reason to when cravings crop up, the body has to adjust to not having what its been used to for so long, and that will take time, we just need to ride the wave and take each day as it comes!!

My first few weeks, fridays used to always be difficult, after work drinks to wrap up the week was something that was always staring me in the face!!

But it can be done . . . you can do this!!

doggonecarl

We get lulled, I think, into thinking we are through the worst, while the addiction lays quiet, gathering strength for an all-out assault. Good of you to recognize your weakening position and taking steps to confront it.

You can do this. Stay strong.

Ethos23

I know that when I get triggered (like being at a function where alcohol is served) the craving wouldnt manifest itself until a few days later. Usually, it was a function of resentment or me being bitter that all those other people could drink normally and I could not.

least

You are still in early recovery. Expect your feelings to be up and down for a while. It will settle down with more sober time.

Dee74

it would be great if recovery was a straight line...but it's not...just like everyone has good and bad days we have good and bad recovery days...for a while anyway.

The important thing is to continue to have faith you're doing the right thing (you are!) - tomorrow should be better kflee

D

kflee

This is definitely a not so good day. I have been through so much more since my first post today that it is ridiculous. None of it my drama, just other friends and people having to deal with a lot of drama. The rush came and went throughout the day. As I watched my friends drama escalade the more they drank, the less I wanted to drink myself. Now I lay on couch with 3 bags of Chamomile in my tea glad that I am once agin going to bed sober. Thanks gang.

OliveDog

Well done.

Hope you get some sound sleep.

justinJustQuit

You got this!!!

ReadyAndAble

Nice work!

I don't think we should ever feel bad about having the thoughts; what matters is how we handle them. And wow, did you ever handle them.