autan

In July 2013, before I came across this great website, I was drinking everyday. I drank more on some days than on others.

One day in July last year, I woke up with no hangover or sickness. I opened the curtains of my bedroom and it was a lovely English summer day.

Now for those of you not from the UK or Ireland. England doesn't get many sunny warm days. Its usually cold, raining or both.

I realised it was my day off and my Wife was working, my Son in Nursery and so I had a rare free day on a lovely sunny day.

I rang up my mate, Dave and said "What are you doing today, I have the day off, what about you?". Dave was always up for taking a day off, so he didnt need his arm twisting that much. We arranged to meet at Preston Marina at 11am.

I took a taxi because I knew I would be drinking and we ate a lite lunch and have a few drinks outside in the sun. What a lovely day I said, yeah he replied beautiful. We talked for hours and drank swiftly.

Around 10 or 12 pints later, I went inside to order some more and the barman said "Sorry mate, cant serve you anymore, your drunk."

Now I never understood, why in England they cant serve you alcohol if your drunk, after all, its like a bank saying we cant give you cash because you already have some.

Anyway, we left and stumbled into the city centre of Preston and decided to go on a pub crawl.

More drinks were consumed and . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thats all, I remember of that day. I woke up with a blistering hangover in an alleyway behind a commercial bin. I had been sick, although I dont remember being sick. I still felt sick. I had urinated myself and accidentally poohed myself too, I smelt bad.

I checked for my wallet and iPhone, both were missing, I check my pockets and had 60p in change. (Around a $1 USD). I called my Wife, who went berserk, she had had to bath the baby, put him to bed, wake him up and get him off to nursery again, she didn't know where I was or who I was with.

I made my apologises and asked to be collected as I lived 6 miles away.

She just slammed the phone down on me, so I decided to walk. People were looking at me in disgust and crossing the street to avoid me. It was of course the next day and businessmen and women were looking at me like I was a hobo, which of course wasnt too far from the truth.

My Wife didnt speak to me for a couple of days. I slept in the spare room or downstairs. Still drinking heavily. My friends Wife, called my Wife, to say her Husband, my friend was found by the Police after climbing an electrical pylon (250,000 volts National Grid), to light a cigarette.

He fell off being he was so drunk, broke his collar bone and was rushed to hospital. Me and Dave thought it was hilarious our antics, at the time.

Look back now, I bearly recognise myself or my life and what I had become.
I think of the pain I have caused my family and the damage to my body and I have made amends.

I tell this you this now, because last night, my Wife told me she loved me, so did my Son and that she was very proud of the turn around I had made. She said she feels relieved and she is trusting me again.

I am 16 days Sober and no plans to relapse. Before this I was 2 month Sober, which she has combined together to mean I have been sober since October 16th. To be 3 months Sober.

I disagreed, I said the clock starts again, when you relapse, she said did you relapse or were you confirming sobriety works for you. (Which I thought was lovely).

I have been forgiven, which gives me resolve not to repeat the mistakes of the past. A bright future lies ahead for all those who would lead a life drink free.

Thank you for reading, I needed to get this off my chest and share my experience, I hope it can help someone else as it has helped me.

ClearMind

What a great post, autan! I have so many horror stories of nights I spent drinking too much and ending up in terrible places, and having my girlfriend not wanting anything to do with me when all was said and done. My recovery journey is much like yours, with a couple of months sober and then a slight couple of slip-ups, but back on the wagon now.

TucTee

I was about to start a thread eliciting opinions about past regret. If you want to share this or other stories, by all means. Sounds like a hell of a day, but sounds more like a hell of a commitment to cleaning up.

autan

I am happy to share this. It was a hell of a day, sadly another occasion of many occasions over the past 20 years or so that have spiralled out of control.

I think by sharing our experiences it serves as a valuable resource to anyone looking to remain sober and become sober. It aids in our recovery because as the person here telling my experiences it is getting a burden off my chest, making the load easier to bear by getting it out there and getting it said.

To the readers point of view, others can reflect and perhaps when it comes to the choice of picking up a drink or not, they might say, that guy Autan, he was in a bad way and has come through it. They can learn from my mistakes so they dont have too or remind themselves of mistakes they have made in their own life and not pick up a drink.