Serotonin

My childs mother is type 2 bipolar with rapid cycling. Lastnight she was being very difficult and manipulative to me and saying very hurtfull things. In her defense she was facing some difficult issues yesterday, and she is exhausted being on chemotherapy for cancer (which is getting much better) so I had that in mind, although its not an excuse for abusive behavior. I was able to change my thinking in this situation in which has in the past had me running to the closest place that sold alcohol. I don't know exactly what was different in me lastnight but I didn't crave alcohol. It didn't even cross my mind. It turns out that she had stopped taking her meds a few days ago, as I had suspected. Maybe the though of my son growing up with both of his parents being totally dysfunctional was in the back of my mind.

I had a brief craving, actually in the middle of typing this...... I used the "play the tape foreward" technique, and it helped tremendously. I think an AA meeting is in order today and some reading from the big book.

Day 2 here!

Toffee1

Well done on avoiding the trigger and urge to drink. I am sure you are well on the way to a sober life , something that your son can be proud of.all the best

kflee

Good job on passing the "crave test". My heart goes out to your wifes health.

Zeepa

Good job! keep at it and remember this next time you have a craving

Jessicacat1

Serotonin that is a fantastic achievement

Serotonin

Thanks for the kind words. I am so sick of alcohol and the disappointment I have in my progress because of my relapses. I have spent more time sober in the past month than I have in a long time, but it's time I reach out more and fight harder. I'm tired of the self loathing and feeling weak. I AM NOT WEAK! I lack confidence and the only way to build that up is to stay sober. I have so much to offer and need to cut out the bs and stay the course no matter what.

Thanks for everyone for sharing you thoughts and experiences here. Because of you I have more tools to fight for my life and my family. The play the tape foreward thing is really profound for me. An idea so simple, yet I never used.

Hollyanne

Ever hear of HALT?
Don't let yourself become (or stay)
Hungry,
Angry,
Lonely,
Tired.
Really helped me at the beginning.
Don't drink, even if your arse falls off!!!!
Well done.

Dee74

I'm sorry you had a bad night Seroptonin but I've glad you stayed strong.

Hope your ex and your son are both ok.

D