Back toSquare One :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 32
Back toSquare One :(
So my sister is an 28 yo addict (she graduated a University with a Bachelors Degree). Her DOC are pain pills that we know off. In June 2013, we got her to a 7 day Detox, then she was suppose to do a 28 day OP program. She had relapsed before she finished.
My parents give her money, put her up in her own house and of course she has an addict boyfriend living with her. The OP was a result of her stealing from my parents and it was that or jail. Since then she has stolen from them multiple times. She did right before Christmas. When caught she said she would get help "after Christmas" The day after Christmas she stole again and disappeared for4 days. My mother went and pressed charges. She is DONE. After her calling and saying she had No where to go, My stepfather ALLOWED her home after that. WTH????? So she then proceeded to steal Again!! and the investigator was at the pawn shop (investigating my mom's charges) and she was caught red handed. She was arrested.
I was sickened and relieved at the same time. Hated to think about her in jail but at least we knew she was safe and not able to use. We all agreed that she needed to stay in jail until her court date. Not even 24 hours later my stepfather had bailed her out b/c she had "diarrhea and was dehydrated.
My mom came to stay with me for a couple of days bc she was so mad. Then she comes home, he had left her at their house alone for several hours. )someone with a known history of taking anything she can get her hands on) My mom was LIVID!! Stepdad now says me , my mom and my older sister don't care about her and we are being cruel.
I fear he will never Let go and continue to enabler her to Death.
I love my sister and just want her clean. Any advice on how I can approach her or him?? He doesn't "believe in addiction" and when referred to Naranon says he "doesn't need anyone to tell him how to raise his child" REALLLY???? Because what you are doing now........How is that working for ya? URGGGHHH FRUSTRATED BEYOND BELIEF!
My parents give her money, put her up in her own house and of course she has an addict boyfriend living with her. The OP was a result of her stealing from my parents and it was that or jail. Since then she has stolen from them multiple times. She did right before Christmas. When caught she said she would get help "after Christmas" The day after Christmas she stole again and disappeared for4 days. My mother went and pressed charges. She is DONE. After her calling and saying she had No where to go, My stepfather ALLOWED her home after that. WTH????? So she then proceeded to steal Again!! and the investigator was at the pawn shop (investigating my mom's charges) and she was caught red handed. She was arrested.
I was sickened and relieved at the same time. Hated to think about her in jail but at least we knew she was safe and not able to use. We all agreed that she needed to stay in jail until her court date. Not even 24 hours later my stepfather had bailed her out b/c she had "diarrhea and was dehydrated.
My mom came to stay with me for a couple of days bc she was so mad. Then she comes home, he had left her at their house alone for several hours. )someone with a known history of taking anything she can get her hands on) My mom was LIVID!! Stepdad now says me , my mom and my older sister don't care about her and we are being cruel.
I fear he will never Let go and continue to enabler her to Death.
I love my sister and just want her clean. Any advice on how I can approach her or him?? He doesn't "believe in addiction" and when referred to Naranon says he "doesn't need anyone to tell him how to raise his child" REALLLY???? Because what you are doing now........How is that working for ya? URGGGHHH FRUSTRATED BEYOND BELIEF!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 731
My goodness...some people take alot of time to get to their endpoint! Your stepfather isn't there yet.
Your mother may have to come to an agreement with him as this is her house and she is entitled to live in her own home without having to watch her back. This is also a marriage problem since they aren't in agreement of your sister living with them.
Perhaps a sober living home can be her option? He can help her with that for a month or until a jail sentence. She can get a small job to pay. There are options other than living in your parents home. However, they need to figure these out together.
He still thinks he can save her.
Your mother may have to come to an agreement with him as this is her house and she is entitled to live in her own home without having to watch her back. This is also a marriage problem since they aren't in agreement of your sister living with them.
Perhaps a sober living home can be her option? He can help her with that for a month or until a jail sentence. She can get a small job to pay. There are options other than living in your parents home. However, they need to figure these out together.
He still thinks he can save her.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Unfortunately there is not a single thing you can do. You did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. He is enabling her. Since she is being enabled by him she is not going to change her behavior. Until he actually sees this he will continue to enable. It's an evil cycle.
Really the only thing you can do is pray and detatch from the entire thing. I am so sorry. Hopefully one day he will see what he is doing. Until then, pray.
Really the only thing you can do is pray and detatch from the entire thing. I am so sorry. Hopefully one day he will see what he is doing. Until then, pray.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Unfortunately there is very little to nothing YOU can do about your sister or step dad’s behavior. But YOUR MOM can take some action by either removing herself and her prized possessions out of the house he allows your sister to come to or she can begin to work on getting him removed from the house. It may seem extreme and it doesn’t have to be a divorce she just needs to get herself out of hurricane alley and both of their ill behaviors. Allow your sister to do her thing and hope step dad FEELS the impact of it.
It’s such a slap in the face to your mother and all her efforts in trying to be strong and do the right things. Can’t imagine the court when it comes to her charges of stealing when It becomes knows she was allowed right back into the same home she stole out of, it defeats all your mothers efforts.
It’s such a slap in the face to your mother and all her efforts in trying to be strong and do the right things. Can’t imagine the court when it comes to her charges of stealing when It becomes knows she was allowed right back into the same home she stole out of, it defeats all your mothers efforts.
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Lexy, all of that is so awful & stressful & very frustrating. I'm so sorry for your Mother especially. She is really the one who has the ball in her court. The next big move is hers. I know this from experiencing a situation alot like that in the past. She'll have to be so determined to stand her ground no matter what. It will be what's best for your sister too. I am sad for every one in your family though. Each of you are being devastated in your own ways by her addiction. I hope that you & your Mother are able to go to lots of meetings right now. Please know I care & can empathize.
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