enufznuf

That might seem like a dumb question, or a big fat denial, but it's actually a real question I have. Here's why.

About 25 years ago, my 1st marriage was on the rocks. I began to drink kind of a lot, and I noticed it and became somewhat concerned. After everything (the divorce, etc.) was over, I drank in moderation (2-3 drinks on Saturday and Sunday) without any cravings or anything like that. Recently, my 2nd marriage has been hell. I found myself drinking way too much for several months, after every fight, etc. I quit drinking on January 1, and it hasn't been real hard, but I have thought about it.

So, does that sound like I need to quit drinking or like I need to quit getting married? Isn't there some list of questions that will tell me what to make of this? Thanks to anyone who can steer me in the right direction!

Dee74

Hi enufznuf

Noone here can diagnose you and tell you what you are.

There is a fairly standard test that may help you decide - but it's only fair to tell you many people here at SR have scored low on this test:

Michigan Alcohol Screening Test (MAST), Revised

I know that my alcoholism started with me resorting to bottle to feel better about stuff.

Sounds like you've identified the same tendency and have decided to stop?
I think that's a wise move

D

least

It's been said that it doesn't matter what you drink, or how much, or how often - it's what happens to you when you drink. How it's affecting your life, your health. Sounds like drinking is your go to response to stress. Not a good reason for drinking. Drinking only adds to the stress.

If you've gone since the first of the year sober, why not continue and see how it goes? Your health will benefit, your bank account will benefit.

FreeOwl

alcoholic or not.... I've observed in my own life and those of many others that booze does absolutely nothing to bring about improvements in life's difficult situations, and NOT turning to booze provides you greater capacity to confront and deal with life's difficult situations....

so.... maybe sobriety is a good place to start for now.

safe2breathe

my mast - lol - answered in the past tense form
Total score of: 17
(6 or More, Problem Drinker)

enufznuf

Thanks to all! I took the test and it gave me a 6, which sounds like it is a problem. I don't know if, when this high stress time is over, it will drop back down, but I do think you all are right in that, for now at least, abstinence is the safest option. To add a twist to a common saying, "No one ever looked back from their death bed and said, 'I wish I had spent more time drunk.'"

I have noticed that my marital problems feel much worse without going numb, but my productivity at work and at home are much higher, and my blood pressure has dropped from 140/90 (bad) to 116/69 (healthy). I didn't know alcohol could mess up your BP?

This was my first post here. What a nice community! I think I'll come here often. Thanks again!

DoneStumblin

I got an 8. I know I belong here. Reading everyones posts and being able to relate to so many others about my addiction helps me stay on track to a sober life.

least

You're right! This is a fine community we have here. I depend heavily on it to get my daily dose of common sense and sanity. SR and my counselor have helped me stay sober for over four years now.

Bobster

I'm kind of the same. Don't really crave it but will binge to numb pain.

Also when I drink every day my job performance and general judgment go down.

Better to abstain as much as possible.

Soberween

FWIW, I scored a 6 and I consider myself an alcoholic.

peanutty

I got a 5. Thing is, I could probably get to a 9 in about 2 weeks if I started drinking again. If you could too, you're probably an alcoholic.

FreeOwl

I got a 14 on that quiz ; "problem drinker"....

yet I've never lost it all, been hospitalized, had any significant withdrawals, needed to drink daily, had any problem stopping at a couple (though eventually it always leads to more), or really been at what most would consider a 'bottom'. In fact, I'm pretty sure a lot of people would be surprised to learn that I now consider myself alcoholic or at least well-established on the road to becoming one.....

just a reference point.

sugarbear1

try not drinking for a year. if it's difficult and you may find you have a problem not drinking, that might indicate a problem....

ClearMind

While the quiz is interesting to take, I feel that if someone has a problem with addiction, deep down they will realize this, whether they choose to be honest with themselves or not.

For what it's worth, I took the test and scored a 15 (it says "6 or more is a problem drinker") - that's the highest score on a test I got in a while

DoPerdition

For me it wasn't about how much or how often I drank but why I drank and my relationship with alcohol.

That said, it will never be my place to call out someone else for their drinking. Part of my recovery has been to work on my own issues. I will say that I had the same kinds of thoughts when I first quit but my reaction to quitting really opened my eyes to the fact that I did have a problem. I had obsessive thoughts after quitting and discovered my AV. Once I starved it, it got louder and then much quieter. Some days now at 63 days it doesn't bother me at all. It is still there often enough to remind me that I will always be an alcoholic and that it will only take one drink to start be back on the path I was on before.

Threshold

Usually, if we find ourselves repeatedly reaching for a drink to numb ourselves from difficult situations in life, it's a bad sign. We tend to find ourselves reaching more often and less and less willing to deal with life sober. The habit doesn't reverse on it's own.

Quit while your ahead! No point in doing further damage to your health, and giving up more of your life to alcohol.

Zeepa

If you are concerned enough to look for a sober recovery forum and make a post, then its likely you arent happy with drinking right now. This is a good place to be

kcbf

Enufzenuf,

I agree with Zeepa. I think if you are asking the question, then your answer is it is most likely a problem or you wouldn't be here posting. Just being honest and I hope I am not offending.

Stick around. You will find a lot of support here. Good luck.

kflee

Yes Zeepa has very good point. I know that I researched SR site before I chose to quit...But I came on because I knew I had a problem and could not figure out how to identify it. The gang at SR helped me to learn how to find the honesty within me. Thats great that you are looking at your life and choices in relationship with alcohol. Hope to see you back soon.

Kensho

For me, when I started asking the question (of myself), that itself seemed like it might be a clue. And I am still asking the question (still grappling the 1st Step). I don’t think that it matters how much one is drinking, but—again, just for me—my own reactions to asking the question seem to provide a second clue.

Although I had sporadic bouts of really heavy drinking (and a few straight-on drunks) over the years, it has been only the last couple of years that I have been drinking fairly heavily day-in and day-out—and progressively more so. I haven’t gotten blindingly drunk in years (again, that was a sporadic thing), and haven’t been drinking recently as heavily as some—so my withdrawal over the last 4 days hasn’t been so bad (agitation, achiness and some recurring headache—rather like a running low-level hangover). But I have embarrassed myself several times in the last couple of years because I had too much to drink.

I don’t have any advice—let alone any answers. But perhaps, like me, just the fact that the question is there indicates that it is worth looking into more deeply. This seems like a good place to do that. Be well.