First bad trigger
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 139
You can do it. Remember the drink will make you feel worse and make you take a step back. We're all here for you! Feelings and emotions are really raw for us right now, alcohol will just amplify what you are feeling, (anger, sadness) - you can do this 
xx
xx
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Drinking will not only make you hate him and cry more, but it will make you hate yourself too for drinking. And you will be hung over most likely and wishing you never took that first drink. And it won't be just a half of a pint - that will just get you started.
Getting sober isn't easy - it' about facing our problems rather than just getting drunk to avoid them. Physical exercise, rest, food, water, having a rational conversation with your husband about the fight, all would be good ways to deal with this particular situation.
Getting sober isn't easy - it' about facing our problems rather than just getting drunk to avoid them. Physical exercise, rest, food, water, having a rational conversation with your husband about the fight, all would be good ways to deal with this particular situation.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,683
Hi, it's what we used to do, drink to celebrate drink to commiserate drink to drown our sorrows. It didn't help though, just same problem still there when we got sober with the addition of hangovers etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: na
Posts: 151
You are all right. I took a break, did something else and even apologized but I believe it is his fault. He is lacks empathy. Something happened with the car I didn't want to distribute him at work as he may be with a client. So I text messaged him thinking he would see the urgency and feel empathetic enough to call. No. He text messaged back very slowly and not very responsive. Then I finally call him. No answer twice. I finally get through. By then I'm exploding. He tells me he didn't answer because "he's a at work." No. There was no client, nothing. Just thinks that it did not need urgency. I just think he could have called back very quickly and said "hey, I know it's stressful, why don't you do this to get it fixed quickly?" But no. He can't be bothered. Instead of that one minute call to show empathy, I fought and cried on the phone with him for 30 minutes.
I actually felt like I was drunk (not in that way), but that's the same way I used to rage at him when drunk. That makes me feel bad because I've been in control of those rages lately with stopping the alcohol. But today, I might as well have been drinking because I was yelling and screaming and crying just like I would while loaded. What gives with that? Have I just learned to be my drunken self even when sober.
Bottom line:
He under reacted by not calling and just checking in for a second (the car problem started because of his negligence)
I way overreacted (maybe he even suspected I'd be drinking)
I'm angry and raw right now BUT I'm not even thinking about drinking for the cyclical reasons you've all mentioned.
I actually felt like I was drunk (not in that way), but that's the same way I used to rage at him when drunk. That makes me feel bad because I've been in control of those rages lately with stopping the alcohol. But today, I might as well have been drinking because I was yelling and screaming and crying just like I would while loaded. What gives with that? Have I just learned to be my drunken self even when sober.
Bottom line:
He under reacted by not calling and just checking in for a second (the car problem started because of his negligence)
I way overreacted (maybe he even suspected I'd be drinking)
I'm angry and raw right now BUT I'm not even thinking about drinking for the cyclical reasons you've all mentioned.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by letustrythis123 
But today, I might as well have been drinking because I was yelling and screaming and crying just like I would while loaded.
You may find that putting down the bottle was just the first step.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by letustrythis123
I actually felt like I was drunk (not in that way), but that's the same way I used to rage at him when drunk. That makes me feel bad because I've been in control of those rages lately with stopping the alcohol. But today, I might as well have been drinking because I was yelling and screaming and crying just like I would while loaded. What gives with that? Have I just learned to be my drunken self even when sober.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by letustrythis123
But today, I might as well have been drinking because I was yelling and screaming and crying just like I would while loaded. What gives with that? Have I just learned to be my drunken self even when sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Our emotions are overly sensitive early on. And when our loved ones don't understand or ignore us, things can easily spiral out of control. Give yourself a moment or two or more to understand where we're at and just understand everyone is not going to placate us. I have been feeling some of this myself the past two days as I detox.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: McKinlyville, Ca.
Posts: 214
mini storm
Originally Posted by Kris47
Our emotions are overly sensitive early on. And when our loved ones don't understand or ignore us, things can easily spiral out of control. Give yourself a moment or two or more to understand where we're at and just understand everyone is not going to placate us. I have been feeling some of this myself the past two days as I detox.
Good job on making it through the "mini storm" without getting wet and staying DRY.
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