Another newbie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 4
Another newbie
So this is day one...again. I joined because I feel I will need some support, and there's something about talking online that I couldn't do in AA. I'm only 25, but am already afraid for my health. Little backstory, I am a music composer - that's where it starts. I have always felt I needed the drink to be creative. Some of my best work has come from, not just being buzzed, but so drunk that my mind is completely clear. I also use it as a crutch when going in public. I cannot be around people. I'm too scared of them, and if I drink a little, I can keep the panic away.
It also doesn't help living in Los Angeles, where the thing to do is get drinks every night to meet and network. I've done well at not going out to the bars the past few months, but that has only caused me to be, what L.A. calls, anti-social. The good thing with composing is that I can work alone, which I enjoy; but, being alone makes me drink more and more. I write every day - so, I drink every day. But now I have realized that I want to live more than I want to create great work. Part of it just scares me that I'll never create anything good again.
So, today is day one. Knowing I can't drink has made me eat. I can't go from one addiction to the next. Any advice for the first two weeks? I have tried many times to quit, but usually only make it a week. How to get through the second week?
Sorry for the long post. Thanks.
It also doesn't help living in Los Angeles, where the thing to do is get drinks every night to meet and network. I've done well at not going out to the bars the past few months, but that has only caused me to be, what L.A. calls, anti-social. The good thing with composing is that I can work alone, which I enjoy; but, being alone makes me drink more and more. I write every day - so, I drink every day. But now I have realized that I want to live more than I want to create great work. Part of it just scares me that I'll never create anything good again.
So, today is day one. Knowing I can't drink has made me eat. I can't go from one addiction to the next. Any advice for the first two weeks? I have tried many times to quit, but usually only make it a week. How to get through the second week?
Sorry for the long post. Thanks.
Last edited by MrArtist; 01-14-2014 at 01:22 PM. Reason: Added text
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 524
Welcome MrArtist
It's not easy reaching out for help with this even if it's online...
I'm new to this as well but have found this place very helpful.. There are many on here with years of sobriety under their belt and many like us just starting off..
It's not easy reaching out for help with this even if it's online...
I'm new to this as well but have found this place very helpful.. There are many on here with years of sobriety under their belt and many like us just starting off..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR MrArtist 
There is lot's of support to be had here.
Your post reminded me of Stephen King thinking he wouldn't be able to write sober. So many of us ascribe super powers to alcohol which actually belonged to us.
I know from personal experience that alcohol as a coping strategy for social situations does not work long term. It is funny though isn't it that we drink to be more social but being alone makes us want to drink too...? Maybe we just use everything as an excuse to drink.
I know that professionally and socially it can be tough making that transition into sobriety but I know you won't regret it. If you are struggling reach out here or look into other forms of support.
Glad you are here x
There is lot's of support to be had here.Your post reminded me of Stephen King thinking he wouldn't be able to write sober. So many of us ascribe super powers to alcohol which actually belonged to us.
I know from personal experience that alcohol as a coping strategy for social situations does not work long term. It is funny though isn't it that we drink to be more social but being alone makes us want to drink too...? Maybe we just use everything as an excuse to drink.
I know that professionally and socially it can be tough making that transition into sobriety but I know you won't regret it. If you are struggling reach out here or look into other forms of support.
Glad you are here x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi and welcome Mr Artist
for many years I believed I needed to be drinking or high to be creative...but then the creativity dried up and the drinking and using continued...
I got sober and, eventually, my creativity came back - along with a lot of others gifts too....among them the self confidence to be me and march to the beat of my own drum
glad to have you with us
D
for many years I believed I needed to be drinking or high to be creative...but then the creativity dried up and the drinking and using continued...
I got sober and, eventually, my creativity came back - along with a lot of others gifts too....among them the self confidence to be me and march to the beat of my own drum
glad to have you with us
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 16
You're just like me! I'm 24 and I'm also worried for my life. A shame that we're so young and yet so terrified for an illness that's completely preventable. Before I turned to alcohol, food was my crutch. When I drank (I'm only five days sober, so it's not like I'm out of the woods), I would still eat insane amounts of food. Now that I've been sober, sure enough, I'm still eating. I'm hoping to stop drinking and then tackle the issue with food. I write, and I find that my writing suffers when I drink because I start typing gibberish. Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
I am REALLY surprised by how much more creative and focused I've become since quitting. I'm not going to lie- it takes time and effort for that lightbulb to come on. But it CAN!
I call BS on your inability to write without booze. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that a creative person "needs" alcohol to create. It's in there, and it will find it's way out- or you'll find your way to it. So BS ON THAT "can't" thing. It's a trap, and it's not true. I'm sure you can think of more than one noteworthy composer/musician that's fallen into that trap. Right?
You have issues that are holding you back from reaching your creative potential. You're using alcohol to cope with those issues, and you know that's destined to end badly. Just because you've only learned to cope with whatever that issue is through using alcohol, doesn't mean that it's the only way!
I'm not sure if you're in any form of therapy? It may really help you get to the root of this issue and develop good coping skills, rather than relying on maladaptive behaviors. Part of my IOP is an art therapy group, and it's really inspiring! Maybe you can learn new ways to get inspired, or at least open yourself up to the possibility of new things inspiring you?
All my best!
I call BS on your inability to write without booze. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that a creative person "needs" alcohol to create. It's in there, and it will find it's way out- or you'll find your way to it. So BS ON THAT "can't" thing. It's a trap, and it's not true. I'm sure you can think of more than one noteworthy composer/musician that's fallen into that trap. Right?
You have issues that are holding you back from reaching your creative potential. You're using alcohol to cope with those issues, and you know that's destined to end badly. Just because you've only learned to cope with whatever that issue is through using alcohol, doesn't mean that it's the only way!
I'm not sure if you're in any form of therapy? It may really help you get to the root of this issue and develop good coping skills, rather than relying on maladaptive behaviors. Part of my IOP is an art therapy group, and it's really inspiring! Maybe you can learn new ways to get inspired, or at least open yourself up to the possibility of new things inspiring you?
All my best!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome MrArtist! We're glad you joined us. It helps so much to be part of this community, where we all understand.
It's good that you see where things are headed if you don't quit. At 25 I was ages away from acknowledging that I had no control over it. I'd give anything to go back and do what you're doing. Be proud of yourself for taking action now.
It's good that you see where things are headed if you don't quit. At 25 I was ages away from acknowledging that I had no control over it. I'd give anything to go back and do what you're doing. Be proud of yourself for taking action now.
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