Yeah, I'm new...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Philly area, PA
Posts: 3
Yeah, I'm new...
I know this is probably a revolving door of people posting in this particular forum, but I'll keep things as simple as I can...which probably is not possible...
I'm a 33/yr old guy from the Philly area that most likely has a problem currently with alcohol. To be blunt and not to discredit those who have began the sobriety process, I'm still an active drinker. I've realized the harm I'm doing myself physically and emotionally over the past couple of years and have successfully (for now) maintained my problem to be anonymous other than the two closest people to myself...my mother and long term girlfriend. The girlfriend is aware that I'm a beer drinker but I don't think realizes the extent of my issues since we are apart for most of the week since we work opposite schedules. I'd like for things to continue to work out between us but deep down I know that my drinking has began to grasp a hold of my routine.
To put it simple... I don't drink ALL day. I work second shift in a field that provides direct care to the mentally and emotionally disabled. I clock out at 11pm and hit either the liquor store open until 12am or the dive bar close to me to grab a six pack. This is probably 5-6 times a week. The denial may set in and part of my conscious will argue that I'm great at what I do. I'm praised by co-workers and supervisors alike, I was recommended recently to apply for a management position...but I only have an associate's degree which disqualifies me for that particular spot. I'm social when sober...I'm funny...likeable, etc. Anyway, I like my job. I love making a difference. I do have regrets of not quickly finishing school for my BA but I plan to go back. I'm scared, however. The thought of this "routine" interfering w/ schoolwork bothers me, even though the strong side of me insists that I'd nip it in the bud when the time comes and I have deadlines and classes in the early AM. But the thought of failure with this bothers me..
My last semester before the Associates degree was rocky...grades-wise, I was fine but I'd lie if I said that I never did a term paper drunk. It scares me at 33 that I worry about 20 year old problems. Add in the fact that drinking alone at night consumes my life. I prefer the soltitude.
Anyway, I definitely have the symptoms of an addictive personality but I guess self question now consumes me. Why did this start at 30? Why do I drink when I'm not depressed (other than dreams that I've been putting off)? Which leads me to my next question to myself... Why do I put off finishing school, when I know that I want to be in Tampa, FL in several years? Why do I instead read up on Florida in a OCD fashion when I could just register for classes one step at a time?
Basically, I'm self searching for answers but this is all in moot to my self medication....
Anyway, whassup from this crazy guy...
I'm a 33/yr old guy from the Philly area that most likely has a problem currently with alcohol. To be blunt and not to discredit those who have began the sobriety process, I'm still an active drinker. I've realized the harm I'm doing myself physically and emotionally over the past couple of years and have successfully (for now) maintained my problem to be anonymous other than the two closest people to myself...my mother and long term girlfriend. The girlfriend is aware that I'm a beer drinker but I don't think realizes the extent of my issues since we are apart for most of the week since we work opposite schedules. I'd like for things to continue to work out between us but deep down I know that my drinking has began to grasp a hold of my routine.
To put it simple... I don't drink ALL day. I work second shift in a field that provides direct care to the mentally and emotionally disabled. I clock out at 11pm and hit either the liquor store open until 12am or the dive bar close to me to grab a six pack. This is probably 5-6 times a week. The denial may set in and part of my conscious will argue that I'm great at what I do. I'm praised by co-workers and supervisors alike, I was recommended recently to apply for a management position...but I only have an associate's degree which disqualifies me for that particular spot. I'm social when sober...I'm funny...likeable, etc. Anyway, I like my job. I love making a difference. I do have regrets of not quickly finishing school for my BA but I plan to go back. I'm scared, however. The thought of this "routine" interfering w/ schoolwork bothers me, even though the strong side of me insists that I'd nip it in the bud when the time comes and I have deadlines and classes in the early AM. But the thought of failure with this bothers me..
My last semester before the Associates degree was rocky...grades-wise, I was fine but I'd lie if I said that I never did a term paper drunk. It scares me at 33 that I worry about 20 year old problems. Add in the fact that drinking alone at night consumes my life. I prefer the soltitude.
Anyway, I definitely have the symptoms of an addictive personality but I guess self question now consumes me. Why did this start at 30? Why do I drink when I'm not depressed (other than dreams that I've been putting off)? Which leads me to my next question to myself... Why do I put off finishing school, when I know that I want to be in Tampa, FL in several years? Why do I instead read up on Florida in a OCD fashion when I could just register for classes one step at a time?
Basically, I'm self searching for answers but this is all in moot to my self medication....
Anyway, whassup from this crazy guy...
to SR. I'm sure you're not the first person to join whilst actively drinking and I doubt you'll be the last Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Originally Posted by delcometsguy420 
I know this is probably a revolving door of people posting in this particular forum, but I'll keep things as simple as I can...which probably is not possible...
I'm a 33/yr old guy from the Philly area that most likely has a problem currently with alcohol. To be blunt and not to discredit those who have began the sobriety process, I'm still an active drinker. I've realized the harm I'm doing myself physically and emotionally over the past couple of years and have successfully (for now) maintained my problem to be anonymous other than the two closest people to myself...my mother and long term girlfriend. The girlfriend is aware that I'm a beer drinker but I don't think realizes the extent of my issues since we are apart for most of the week since we work opposite schedules. I'd like for things to continue to work out between us but deep down I know that my drinking has began to grasp a hold of my routine.
To put it simple... I don't drink ALL day. I work second shift in a field that provides direct care to the mentally and emotionally disabled. I clock out at 11pm and hit either the liquor store open until 12am or the dive bar close to me to grab a six pack. This is probably 5-6 times a week. The denial may set in and part of my conscious will argue that I'm great at what I do. I'm praised by co-workers and supervisors alike, I was recommended recently to apply for a management position...but I only have an associate's degree which disqualifies me for that particular spot. I'm social when sober...I'm funny...likeable, etc. Anyway, I like my job. I love making a difference. I do have regrets of not quickly finishing school for my BA but I plan to go back. I'm scared, however. The thought of this "routine" interfering w/ schoolwork bothers me, even though the strong side of me insists that I'd nip it in the bud when the time comes and I have deadlines and classes in the early AM. But the thought of failure with this bothers me..
My last semester before the Associates degree was rocky...grades-wise, I was fine but I'd lie if I said that I never did a term paper drunk. It scares me at 33 that I worry about 20 year old problems. Add in the fact that drinking alone at night consumes my life. I prefer the soltitude.
Anyway, I definitely have the symptoms of an addictive personality but I guess self question now consumes me. Why did this start at 30? Why do I drink when I'm not depressed (other than dreams that I've been putting off)? Which leads me to my next question to myself... Why do I put off finishing school, when I know that I want to be in Tampa, FL in several years? Why do I instead read up on Florida in a OCD fashion when I could just register for classes one step at a time?
Basically, I'm self searching for answers but this is all in moot to my self medication....
Anyway, whassup from this crazy guy...
To put it simple... I don't drink ALL day. I work second shift in a field that provides direct care to the mentally and emotionally disabled. I clock out at 11pm and hit either the liquor store open until 12am or the dive bar close to me to grab a six pack. This is probably 5-6 times a week. The denial may set in and part of my conscious will argue that I'm great at what I do. I'm praised by co-workers and supervisors alike, I was recommended recently to apply for a management position...but I only have an associate's degree which disqualifies me for that particular spot. I'm social when sober...I'm funny...likeable, etc. Anyway, I like my job. I love making a difference. I do have regrets of not quickly finishing school for my BA but I plan to go back. I'm scared, however. The thought of this "routine" interfering w/ schoolwork bothers me, even though the strong side of me insists that I'd nip it in the bud when the time comes and I have deadlines and classes in the early AM. But the thought of failure with this bothers me..
My last semester before the Associates degree was rocky...grades-wise, I was fine but I'd lie if I said that I never did a term paper drunk. It scares me at 33 that I worry about 20 year old problems. Add in the fact that drinking alone at night consumes my life. I prefer the soltitude.
Anyway, I definitely have the symptoms of an addictive personality but I guess self question now consumes me. Why did this start at 30? Why do I drink when I'm not depressed (other than dreams that I've been putting off)? Which leads me to my next question to myself... Why do I put off finishing school, when I know that I want to be in Tampa, FL in several years? Why do I instead read up on Florida in a OCD fashion when I could just register for classes one step at a time?
Basically, I'm self searching for answers but this is all in moot to my self medication....
Anyway, whassup from this crazy guy...
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, no doubt. I still can't look back and pinpoint the day I when from a heavy drinker to an alcoholic or when I went from a several nights a week binger to an all day everyday drinker, but the progression is there.
The earlier you can get if the hamster wheel, the better for you and the easier it will be delcometsguy.
That's not to say it's ever easy but I wish I'd quit at 30 and not 40, y'know?
you'll find a lot of support here - glad to have you aboard
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Philly area, PA
Posts: 3
Thank you for your response...
I hope that the admittance doesn't infer that I'm making a mockery of the purpose of this site. I have respect in the highest regards whom have kicked any habit. It's just hard communicating with others on a normal conversation basis about the issues I've brought upon myself. I really haven't attempted. I guess I'm in the why or how did this happen stage if that makes any sense. Questioning oneself I guess is healthy but guilt has been ongoing lately. I've paid my bills, but the gf asking me where my extra money has gone over the past couple of months makes me sick. I could list a ton of excuses:
1) I have to be at full attention all day so this mellows me out
2) The crazy things I see on the regular at my job in regards to what's "normal" in society
3) This is my way to unwind
...and the list goes on. I know six beers a night isn't insane by some ppl's standards, but the reason I only buy six at a time is bc if I bought a case in the beginning of the wee, I'd go over 12 at night in a couple hours easily.
I hope that the admittance doesn't infer that I'm making a mockery of the purpose of this site. I have respect in the highest regards whom have kicked any habit. It's just hard communicating with others on a normal conversation basis about the issues I've brought upon myself. I really haven't attempted. I guess I'm in the why or how did this happen stage if that makes any sense. Questioning oneself I guess is healthy but guilt has been ongoing lately. I've paid my bills, but the gf asking me where my extra money has gone over the past couple of months makes me sick. I could list a ton of excuses:
1) I have to be at full attention all day so this mellows me out
2) The crazy things I see on the regular at my job in regards to what's "normal" in society
3) This is my way to unwind
...and the list goes on. I know six beers a night isn't insane by some ppl's standards, but the reason I only buy six at a time is bc if I bought a case in the beginning of the wee, I'd go over 12 at night in a couple hours easily.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Philly area, PA
Posts: 3
Thanks Dee74.
I'd want to attack this early. I've been fortunate in regards to DUI's and so on since I drink from home mostly. I've caught a couple of breaks. In due time, I want to be a special ed teacher but know that I have to change my routine to healthily adjust from that role in a tough environment to enjoying regular leisure activities. With alcohol, I've become less active obviously... basically a set schedule of wake up, clean up, laundry, work, drink. My interests have become less interesting. Work has become my pride.... outside of that I'm a different person
I'd want to attack this early. I've been fortunate in regards to DUI's and so on since I drink from home mostly. I've caught a couple of breaks. In due time, I want to be a special ed teacher but know that I have to change my routine to healthily adjust from that role in a tough environment to enjoying regular leisure activities. With alcohol, I've become less active obviously... basically a set schedule of wake up, clean up, laundry, work, drink. My interests have become less interesting. Work has become my pride.... outside of that I'm a different person
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Welcome delcometsguy. As Dee says, SR is a wonderful place for anyone wanting to quit any kind of substance.
I'm glad you want to deal with this early. I've quite drinking at 31 but I still wish I'd quit a year earlier, at 30
I could only really start working out why I drank the way I did once I stopped drinking. It was then that I could clearly see all the issues and factors that I'd been trying to avoid by drinking, and start working on them.
I'm glad you want to deal with this early. I've quite drinking at 31 but I still wish I'd quit a year earlier, at 30
I could only really start working out why I drank the way I did once I stopped drinking. It was then that I could clearly see all the issues and factors that I'd been trying to avoid by drinking, and start working on them.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: McKinlyville, Ca.
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by delcometsguy420
Thanks Dee74.
I'd want to attack this early. I've been fortunate in regards to DUI's and so on since I drink from home mostly. I've caught a couple of breaks. In due time, I want to be a special ed teacher but know that I have to change my routine to healthily adjust from that role in a tough environment to enjoying regular leisure activities. With alcohol, I've become less active obviously... basically a set schedule of wake up, clean up, laundry, work, drink. My interests have become less interesting. Work has become my pride.... outside of that I'm a different person
I'd want to attack this early. I've been fortunate in regards to DUI's and so on since I drink from home mostly. I've caught a couple of breaks. In due time, I want to be a special ed teacher but know that I have to change my routine to healthily adjust from that role in a tough environment to enjoying regular leisure activities. With alcohol, I've become less active obviously... basically a set schedule of wake up, clean up, laundry, work, drink. My interests have become less interesting. Work has become my pride.... outside of that I'm a different person
Special Ed is great. My mother ran the program for Special Ed when I was growing up,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi. I looked this up for ANYONE who might be wondering about the big unmentionable.
Are You an Alcoholic? To answer this question, ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
You do not ever have to show this to anyone, nor should you!
1. Do you lose time from work due to your drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of your drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or troubles?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of your drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been in a hospital or institution on account of drinking?
If anyone is interested in the answers look them up.
BE WELL
Are You an Alcoholic? To answer this question, ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
You do not ever have to show this to anyone, nor should you!
1. Do you lose time from work due to your drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of your drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or troubles?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of your drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been in a hospital or institution on account of drinking?
If anyone is interested in the answers look them up.
BE WELL
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 139
My situation is a little like yours. I'm successful too somehow, despite drinking 4 bottles of wine a day four days a week (at my worst), then a bottle of vodka on Fridays, on top of going out drinking all weekend every week and often in the week too.
I didnt really think anything of it until all of a sudden, BOOM a huge array of health problems out of the blue. No symptoms until I just collapsed one day. My liver was playing up, doctors told me I would develop cirrhosis within two years if I didnt stop now. I also had multiple stomach ulcers that were bleeding (what caused me to collapse) and needed emergency surgery. My pancreas was also swollen and I was told I was not far off developing acute pancreatitis.
This all happened recently and I am only 24 years old, drinking slowly increasing in volume since I was 18.
My work is still going well, and when I was at university I sobered up enough to get work done on time...it's still a one way road to dying horribly though, and this becomes a reality when the physical symptoms hit you out of nowhere. I was honestly feeling fine until the day it happened. I actually thought none of it could happen to me until I reached my 30s at least, not true.
So yeah, a bit gloomy lol sorry about that but I felt exactly the same way. I started off at about the same level of drinking as you, then my tolerance starting to increase I gradually needed more and more. Oh yeah, and then it stops being fun too.
It's good to cut back now to the weekends at least, if thats hard to do then you should definitely consider giving sobriety a shot.
Good luck and welcome x
I didnt really think anything of it until all of a sudden, BOOM a huge array of health problems out of the blue. No symptoms until I just collapsed one day. My liver was playing up, doctors told me I would develop cirrhosis within two years if I didnt stop now. I also had multiple stomach ulcers that were bleeding (what caused me to collapse) and needed emergency surgery. My pancreas was also swollen and I was told I was not far off developing acute pancreatitis.
This all happened recently and I am only 24 years old, drinking slowly increasing in volume since I was 18.
My work is still going well, and when I was at university I sobered up enough to get work done on time...it's still a one way road to dying horribly though, and this becomes a reality when the physical symptoms hit you out of nowhere. I was honestly feeling fine until the day it happened. I actually thought none of it could happen to me until I reached my 30s at least, not true.
So yeah, a bit gloomy lol sorry about that but I felt exactly the same way. I started off at about the same level of drinking as you, then my tolerance starting to increase I gradually needed more and more. Oh yeah, and then it stops being fun too.
It's good to cut back now to the weekends at least, if thats hard to do then you should definitely consider giving sobriety a shot.
Good luck and welcome
x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
"It's good to cut back now to the weekends at least, if thats hard to do then you should definitely consider giving sobriety a shot."
Sorry to see you have such horrid complications due to drinking alcohol. It's been proven that moderate drinking soon escalates back to the same old same old, like it or not. Abstinence will short circuit the complications, past, present and future. And it's a given our health will get worse ready or not if we continue to drink.
BE WELL
"It's good to cut back now to the weekends at least, if thats hard to do then you should definitely consider giving sobriety a shot."
Sorry to see you have such horrid complications due to drinking alcohol. It's been proven that moderate drinking soon escalates back to the same old same old, like it or not. Abstinence will short circuit the complications, past, present and future. And it's a given our health will get worse ready or not if we continue to drink.
BE WELL
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by IOAA2
Hi.
"It's good to cut back now to the weekends at least, if thats hard to do then you should definitely consider giving sobriety a shot."
Sorry to see you have such horrid complications due to drinking alcohol. It's been proven that moderate drinking soon escalates back to the same old same old, like it or not. Abstinence will short circuit the complications, past, present and future. And it's a given our health will get worse ready or not if we continue to drink.
BE WELL
"It's good to cut back now to the weekends at least, if thats hard to do then you should definitely consider giving sobriety a shot."
Sorry to see you have such horrid complications due to drinking alcohol. It's been proven that moderate drinking soon escalates back to the same old same old, like it or not. Abstinence will short circuit the complications, past, present and future. And it's a given our health will get worse ready or not if we continue to drink.
BE WELL
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