520
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
520
Five hundred and twenty. That is how many weekends are in a decade.
The finiteness of life scares me sometime, but pausing to think about how brief our time is here also makes me realize that getting sober is not something to be put off…until later. I truly believe that being sober means that 520 possible weekends of excitement may lay ahead of me in the next decade (if I am lucky enough to still be alive). There are very few things in my life I am certain about, but I do believe absolutely that drinking would rob me of that potential.
For any newbies who are struggling in their first days or weeks keeping the idea of what you are adding rather than subtracting is so important. And each one of us ultimately hold our own destiny in our hands, that is a pretty amazing and overwhelming thought. Getting sober is not an event, it is a decision. (thanks Dee for this thought very early on, it has stayed with me). I believe it is a series of small decisions, not a big bang…and that's what makes the early days so hard.
No one else can see those choices we are making, daily, hourly, sometimes minute to minute. And sometimes those little choices feel so trivial in light of all the problems that started adding up while we were drinking. But it is exactly those small choices that put us on the same exact path as anyone who has gone before us successfully.
520 weekends……the thought of family, friends,working, traveling….not holed up alone drinking. I have no choice about how long I will be on earth, but I do have a choice about whether I am allowing myself the possibility of truly living and not just existing.
The finiteness of life scares me sometime, but pausing to think about how brief our time is here also makes me realize that getting sober is not something to be put off…until later. I truly believe that being sober means that 520 possible weekends of excitement may lay ahead of me in the next decade (if I am lucky enough to still be alive). There are very few things in my life I am certain about, but I do believe absolutely that drinking would rob me of that potential.
For any newbies who are struggling in their first days or weeks keeping the idea of what you are adding rather than subtracting is so important. And each one of us ultimately hold our own destiny in our hands, that is a pretty amazing and overwhelming thought. Getting sober is not an event, it is a decision. (thanks Dee for this thought very early on, it has stayed with me). I believe it is a series of small decisions, not a big bang…and that's what makes the early days so hard.
No one else can see those choices we are making, daily, hourly, sometimes minute to minute. And sometimes those little choices feel so trivial in light of all the problems that started adding up while we were drinking. But it is exactly those small choices that put us on the same exact path as anyone who has gone before us successfully.
520 weekends……the thought of family, friends,working, traveling….not holed up alone drinking. I have no choice about how long I will be on earth, but I do have a choice about whether I am allowing myself the possibility of truly living and not just existing.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Beautifully said jaynie. So true - we're adding, not subtracting. In the early days of quitting I was focused on what I'd be missing. I perceived it as a huge loss. I don't know how I could've looked at it that way - I was so sick and miserable.
Thank you for the encouraging post.
Thank you for the encouraging post.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 14
Today I was thinking about all the changes I need to make in my life in order to continue my sobriety in the early stages, including canceling plans with "drinking" friends, avoiding happy hour with co-workers or avoiding that first drink right after work. I was pretty bummed out, lonely and lost. After reading this, it lifted those negative thoughts and I honestly believe I will sleep better tonight knowing those negative thoughts are replaced with your positive words. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Melbourne Beach, FL
Posts: 253
Thank you Jaynie for the great post. You are right, it's the little decisions that accumulate over time that make us successful. I'm not afraid of my time being finite, but I do want my time to be worthwhile, not looked back on with regret and wasted moments in a bottle. Life is so precious and so easy to take for granted. It's high time I start remembering that. 
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by jaynie04 
The finiteness of life scares me sometime, but pausing to think about how brief our time is here also makes me realize that getting sober is not something to be put off…until later. I truly believe that being sober means that 520 possible weekends of excitement may lay ahead of me in the next decade (if I am lucky enough to still be alive). There are very few things in my life I am certain about, but I do believe absolutely that drinking would rob me of that potential.
If we knew that we lived forever, why do anything? Every act, every behavior would be equally meaningless. Life itself would be meaningless.
It's precisely because we know that we will some day die that we create, take risks, procreate, mark milestones, suffer, fail, triumph, and strive to live in the moment. With eternal life, living in the moment would carry no meaning, one moment being as devoid of urgency and meaning as the next.
Life awaits. No one gets out alive.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC
"I can always do it later..." is either an act of bad faith or a conviction born of denial for mere mortals, if only because we cannot be certain of the truth of that statement. And because we know that, at some point, it will no longer be true. The appeal to "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die," is not only a nod to our mortality, but a further plea to make the most of the little time we have.
If we knew that we lived forever, why do anything? Every act, every behavior would be equally meaningless. Life itself would be meaningless.
It's precisely because we know that we will some day die that we create, take risks, procreate, mark milestones, suffer, fail, triumph, and strive to live in the moment. With eternal life, living in the moment would carry no meaning, one moment being as devoid of urgency and meaning as the next.
Life awaits. No one gets out alive.
If we knew that we lived forever, why do anything? Every act, every behavior would be equally meaningless. Life itself would be meaningless.
It's precisely because we know that we will some day die that we create, take risks, procreate, mark milestones, suffer, fail, triumph, and strive to live in the moment. With eternal life, living in the moment would carry no meaning, one moment being as devoid of urgency and meaning as the next.
Life awaits. No one gets out alive.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Alcohol is a silent killer - it secretly takes from us our most important possession, which is the time we have here on Earth. Since I got sober in August, I have felt like the brakes have been put on in my life. Time is not racing by as it once did - I am also not living from one purchase to the next too - or at least trying. Living in the moment is so powerful and I truly believe true happiness and serenity lie here - I have not found it yet but working towards.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
My dogs are teaching me how to live in the moment. 
A good quote from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, one of my favorite books.
"To see things as though you are seeing them for the first or last time; thus will your days on earth be filled with glory."
I like that.
A good quote from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, one of my favorite books.
"To see things as though you are seeing them for the first or last time; thus will your days on earth be filled with glory."
I like that.
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