nicole100

well everyone on these boards has been so helpful and wonderful.

why, then, did I take it upon myself to get a script for klonapin from me very smart, very sweet doctor?

I don't know. but I started drinking again..with a mouth full of klonapin.

and now, my brand new car is totalled. I do not even remember hitting anything (apparently it was a tree and no one was injured...not even myself)

UNTIL a friend from my mom's neighborhood took me to his home as no one was at my mom's. He raped me. I came to with a 69 year old man kissing me and telling me how much he loved me.

My mom too me to the ER and from there they performed a rape kit.

I am apparently going to a 90 day live-in rehab (my insurance will cover it). But I lose everything. my friend Jeff (that I adore) left me with this man (he is well-known and well_liked and he had no reason not to). But I love Jeff. now I doubt we will ever speak.

I want this MF to be locked up. how can anyone do this???????

I hate myself and everyone right now.

ScottFromWI

Very sorry to hear all that Nicole, can't imagine it even really. I am glad that you are going someplace safe...hopefully they can help.

Skye2

Oh Nicole - I am so sorry to hear what you've been through That old (bleep) is a vile sleaze-bag and I am really glad that you went to ER and he is not getting away with it.

It's good that no-one got hurt also and cars can eventually be replaced.

The 90 day rehab sounds brilliant and I wouldn't worry too much about Jeff for now - he's probably feeling a little guilty about leaving you with the old guy, even though he didn't realise what would happen.

You have an excellent chance of a new start now - be good to yourself Xx

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear all that Nicole. I hope you'll go to the police.
The National Sexual Assault Hotline may help too 1.800.656.HOPE(4673)

RAINN.org | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

I'm glad to hear you're going to rehab - it's really terrifying to hear how quickly things can spiral out of control.

This is not the end of your life, although it may feel like it now - it can be a new beginning.

sending you best wishes - please do keep us informed on you and how you're going.

D

nicole100

but how can I not remember crashing the brand new car I worked so hard to get? my heart is broken.

KateL

I agree with Skye. Your car must be insured? The man sounds horrible and Jeff can't possibly blame you for what happened with the man. No matter how bad things are, we can always pull ourselves back up, believe me. I had an umpleasant encounter with a dirty old man once ... not nice xxxx

nicole100

I just feel so awful for letting everyone on here down. I am so sorry.

Carlotta

Maybe your old crazy life is over but you have the opportunity for a brand new sober one.
Gentle hugs to you

ScottFromWI

Drugs and alcohol take a lot of things from us unfortunately. What is important now though is that a car is just a thing...it can be replaced. Your life cannot..and you are still here.

Dee74

The important thing is to get yourself well Nicole - you need never have to feel this way again.

Stuff like the car can be sorted out later.

D

nicole100

Without sounding contrite--I really do love you all. In my currently insane world, you make me feel sane--and loved. Nothing can repay that.

Kat60

Oh Nicole, how awful!!

I am sorry that all this has happened. Alcohol can put us in some awful situations...

I really hope and pray that you go to the 90 day rehab and work it for all it has to offer you so that you never have to go through this again.

This could be the beginning of a new life for you Nicole if you just grab on to it!!!!

Prayers that you find peace and your way out of this addiction. We'll still be here when you get out to celebrate and support your recovery!

When do you go???

Junegirl

Nicole,

I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I hope everything gets sorted out, and with time and lots of self-care, you come back healthier and stronger.

Junegirl

Renarde

We do care. I'm so sorry this happened. You are going to go to rehab and get well. You never have to feel this badly again. Wrapping you in love and support.

courage2

Nicole, I'm sorry that this happened to you. Rape is a trauma and I hope that rehab will give you some time and help with healing from that as well as from your alcohol problem. (( ))

LadyinBC

You didn't let us down. You are back here and trying again. That is all that matters.

We will always be here for you, good or bad, we are here.

PurpleKnight

Nicole, you haven't let anyone down, there is nothing to be sorry about, SR is here for you whenever you need us!!

HeadLump

Oh, Nicole, I'm so very sorry for what you've been through.

But, Skye is right. You have the perfect chance for a new start. Grab it

ClearMind

So sorry you had to experience that, but the important thing is to focus on yourself and your sobriety. It will make dealing with other issues much better.

Good luck.

CaliButterfly

It's ok Nicole, we're all human, so be kind to yourself. And yes, your life is over. Your OLD life, your self-destructive life. And it's going to make way for a new, happy, healthy one. My heart aches to hear what you went through and I hope that SOB gets what's coming to him. Your 90-day rehab will do wonderful things for your mental health and when you get out, I'm sure your friend Jeff will be there with open arms. If you love him, you two will talk and perhaps all of this will bring you closer together. You know he only wants the best for you. Hugs from me also, and remember this is a new beginning.