LadyBlue0527

There are multiple threads with the question as to whether an event would be considered a slip or not. Let's be realistic. Before the question is even asked on the board, or to a sponsor, or whoever the person is, don't we really already know in our own minds if it's a slip or not?

There are only two different possible scenarios.

1.You did it completely unknowingly. This is not a slip. You had no intent to drink alcohol nor did you realize that you were ingesting something that had alcohol in it. Upon the realization of what it was, point blank, you stopped. You were upset and horrified and concerned that this would count against you. It doesn't. It was completely unintentional.

2. You had a momentary lapse of judgement and set yourself up in a situation where you ingested alcohol and you knew full well what you were doing. However, it was a situation where you could make an "excuse" or you set one up for that momentary lapse of judgement be whatever it may.

All the answers on this board in response to the question won't change the above. It is what it is. If you were involved in scenario 2 but 20 people all agreed in response that it wasn't a slip it still does not make a difference, it was a slip whether you feel better about it or not.

That's where honesty comes in. If scenario 2 is the case then it's what you do with the incident that determines the outcome. So what, it was a slip. Do you choose to learn from it and not repeat the same (because you know where that's going to lead) and do you do what's necessary to not repeat it again? If this is the case then don't sweat it, you can get past this. In fact, dwelling on it is a great way to fully relapse. Own it, get over it, and fix it.

If it's scenario 1 put tools in place so that you won't ever be in that situation again, don't leave things to chance.

Honesty with yourself is key and all the opinions in the world won't change the logic.

Tang

Nice thoughtful post. Thanks.

LadyBlue0527

It's hard to watch the pain of someone who truly meant nothing by what they did when they're searching for answers. It happens. We eat or drink something that has alcohol and had no idea. For someone who is 100% dedicated to recovery that's horrifying and painful when discovered.

Then, there are those of us (myself fully included) who know the mind games that come with recovery. I've been there. What I know is that when I tried to lie to myself as to why I did something then that opened the door for me continuing to lie to myself. That led back to the same place every time. Mindfulness dissipates.

That's where it's so important (if it was a slip) to not focus on the slip itself rather than deciding what to do about it. If you beat yourself up about a momentary lapse the AV will find a way to talk you right into another momentary lapse, and then another until you're right back not caring when or how much you use. It took me 4 long term tries and many short term ones to get that into my thick head.

Honesty with one's self is key, opinions can make us feel better but in the end, we know what we know.

foolsgold66

This, a thousand times, this.

RobbyRobot

Quitting drinking is its own reward. Having another drink after quitting is as much admitting that quitting is no longer worth staying quit for whatever reasons. A return to drinking is only a problem if quitting made sense in the first place, and its here that the delusions and lies are born, and the justifications for believing the lies are created. The original reasons for quitting don't hold up in the drinkers mind anymore, and yet they persist to be ever present nagging all the same because of course we can't really drink away any of our problems with life. We can drink away our lives of course, but not our problems. This is an obvious truth that must first be ignored and justified away to be able to pick up that future drink.

It really comes down to the reality of people will continue to struggle with their drinking and quitting cycles for the rest of their lives until they make the required and essential changes to live a life that doesn't allow for such struggles.

MyTimeNow

I think you just described my past behaviour to a tee!

Mentium

I think the word 'slip' is misleading. I have used it myself so I'm not making a judgement. But I don't think I will use it any more.

A 'slip' in the context of this forum and people here means drinking when we have decided we are not going to. It is a victory of our addiction over our hard won sobriety. For us to use a word that implies an almost accidental event or an oversight or some such is to minimise the potential damage that a slip, could do. A slip can turn into regular drinking which could turn into dangerous drinking and potentially deadly drinking. The word 'slip' is far too innocent and trivial.

I think a better word would be 'catastrophe'. It may be over the top, but a great many slips have led to people ending up dead.

bigsombrero

I agree. It implies there is no blame assigned. It's akin to a violent offender who says: "I slipped and robbed a bank last night" or "I had a little slip and punched a stranger in the face".

If you had a hard day at work and then drank when you got home, that's not a "slip". You drank because you wanted to drink. It's an "excuse". And that's totally fine, we all have to battle with it. But there's no reason to put lipstick on a pig here. The more honest we can be about our conditions, the better off we'll be. Just my opinion.

Louise82

Agree with your posts LadyBlue. For me this kind of thing is a big part of what it means for me to be honest with myself about my drinking.

Tang

Very true.

jkb

I don't like the term "slip". I have to be honest with myself. If I choose to drink I am making a very poor decision. I did not slip at all I chose to do it.

Little "slips" lead to further problems for me. I cannot drink normally. I know that. Therefore, for me to consume alcohol is a horrible decision. PERIOD.

However, sometimes when one is fresh off of a bad decision to drink they try to lessen it in their minds and say "I slipped" which I also fully understand. AND if that keeps them from saying "F this it is too hard I may as well give up" then call it a slip by all means.

I drank one night after 8 months sobriety. I did not beat myself up for it and that is what kept me from returning to old behaviors. I did not say "this is too hard I am not capable." I said "that was really dumb Jess, don't do that again".

Then I forgave myself, looked at why it happened and moved on SOBER. Just my thoughts,

Jess

IOAA2

I had a long time sober friend who insisted keeping alcohol in the house because his wife had a very occasional drink and he had a few very light drinking friends who he made drinks for when they visited. One day he was mixing something and it fizzed over the top and he instinctively bent over to suck it up, as I might have done. Fortunately he caught himself. I feel many people who might have sucked it up might feel guilt and say the hell with it and had the whole drink, leading to ?? Having an accident is one thing along with having a solid footing.
The big thing to me is being honest with MYSELF and my footing.

BE WELL

EverySngleNight

Great post LadyBlue!!!

"A return to drinking is only a problem if quitting made sense in the first place", and if it weren't a problem you wouldn't need to try and validate it. I like this ^.

A "slip"... That implies an accident to me. When I went out for hibachi, I honestly didn't know that the chef would be squirting sake into people's mouths- thank goodness I asked what it was and was able to avoid it!! But still, it could've happened. I would've spit it out and not done it again, which wouldn't "count" against my sobriety obviously. However, I could've honestly not known or easily KNOWN while pretending not to, then once I "accidentally" got a taste, said "Oh well, I slipped- Hit me again!!!" LOL.

The concept of "slipping" is sometimes convoluted, and I never really thought of it before. I don't think I've ever claimed a "slip". I think I've RELAPSED. LOL For sure...

I've never seen anyone trying to justify and not "count" intentional drinking by using the term "slip", but if they ARE... I call MEGA BS on that!! SRSLY? Dude... SMH

ACT10Npack

I think using the term "slip" is fine and appropriate to I had a slap of judge. As long as you don't go back to your old ways. Its almost like say, I quit but you really didn't because almost every alcoholic will fall at one or part of sobriety.

hypochondriac

I was slightly horrified in a relapse prevention group recently where the group leader was describing the difference between a lapse and a relapse. Basically a lapse is a slip... I get the point that it is to no one's benefit to beat people up if they 'slip' but even as I was listening to her say this I was thinking how it would be okay then if I slip just once... minimising 'slips' to addicts is tantamount to giving them a green light to continue in my opinion. It is a balance, don't worry too much if you have slipped because you can't change the past but don't go down the 'it's okay cos I didn't get drunk' justification...

justinJustQuit

Great post. Yeah I had this problem for a while. Be sober about 5 - 7 days, and say "Oh well if I slip". Now I'm detoxing again as we speak...
The idea of slips are very worrying.