Any positive stories???
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 20
Any positive stories???
Hi, just wondering...
Are there any positive stories out there relating to our loved ones facing addiction? Anyone with a recovering addict in their lives (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, sibling, etc.) who is/has been successfully going through recovery for a time and there's a positive story to tell or inspiring words to share?
I can't tell if there just aren't any...which is hard to believe that there aren't any recovering addicts /loved ones in the world with successful stories to tell...or those that have positive stories don't come to SR?
Are there any positive stories out there relating to our loved ones facing addiction? Anyone with a recovering addict in their lives (husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, sibling, etc.) who is/has been successfully going through recovery for a time and there's a positive story to tell or inspiring words to share?
I can't tell if there just aren't any...which is hard to believe that there aren't any recovering addicts /loved ones in the world with successful stories to tell...or those that have positive stories don't come to SR?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 98
I found SR while looking for positive stories. You can find some in the Substance Abuse, and Stories of Recovery forums. I think this forum tends to draw those who have the biggest struggles with family members and their own responses trying to save them.
I have seen reports that claim that opiate addicts average about 11 years before getting clean for good. YMMV. Some will be less, some will never get clean. ISTM that those who struggle the most with addiction have other unresolved issues - childhood abuse or abandonment, bipolar, family history of alcoholism or drug abuse. Some people experiment with drugs and never get addicted.
Some people get addicted to their addicts. I have a personal history dating back to early childhood of avoiding conflict and giving in too easily to the wants and needs of others. My mother wondered if I would learn to stand up for myself. I don't have any of the other issues mentioned above. I grew up in a stable 2 parent family in a middle class neighborhood, never abused, no traumatic events, a little odd but no serious mental issues - just a tendency to be more accommodating than most. I have to watch that. If someone in my family crosses the line into addiction, I need to be careful that I don't get sucked into codependency.
I have seen reports that claim that opiate addicts average about 11 years before getting clean for good. YMMV. Some will be less, some will never get clean. ISTM that those who struggle the most with addiction have other unresolved issues - childhood abuse or abandonment, bipolar, family history of alcoholism or drug abuse. Some people experiment with drugs and never get addicted.
Some people get addicted to their addicts. I have a personal history dating back to early childhood of avoiding conflict and giving in too easily to the wants and needs of others. My mother wondered if I would learn to stand up for myself. I don't have any of the other issues mentioned above. I grew up in a stable 2 parent family in a middle class neighborhood, never abused, no traumatic events, a little odd but no serious mental issues - just a tendency to be more accommodating than most. I have to watch that. If someone in my family crosses the line into addiction, I need to be careful that I don't get sucked into codependency.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I have the privilege of witnessing positive stories every time I volunteer at the Salvation Army ARC. The men in there have made the courageous decision to fight for their lives. It is awe inspiring. TODAY they are sober.....and that's huge. No one can predict their future but just for today......they are clean. There are 100 men in the ARC at any given time. Their efforts are monumental. Their changes are significant. They are funny, polite, kind, caring men trying to tackle a horrible disease.
I work with their families/loved ones.....and unfortunately......we sometimes see the families/loved ones undermining the recovery of the recovering addict and they don't even know it. It's wonderful to see the light turn on in those loved ones eyes when they "get it" and begin to understand the difference between support and enabling.
There are lots of positive stories regarding addiction out there. Just like there are successful auto races......but sometimes the only thing people want to see is the ones who crash and burn.
gentle hugs
ke
I work with their families/loved ones.....and unfortunately......we sometimes see the families/loved ones undermining the recovery of the recovering addict and they don't even know it. It's wonderful to see the light turn on in those loved ones eyes when they "get it" and begin to understand the difference between support and enabling.
There are lots of positive stories regarding addiction out there. Just like there are successful auto races......but sometimes the only thing people want to see is the ones who crash and burn.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
I hear success stories any time I go to an AA or NA meeting; many people there are in recovery from their addiction for many years. I suppose it is a bit sad that more don't post here, but one of the great gifts of being in recovery is that one gets so busy with life.
Lots of those meetings are "open" (check a directory) and I encourage anyone who has become weary of failure to go to one of those meetings. We have, in both of my home groups, a few who are not addicts themselves but who are living with it in someone else. Just as I have found alanon very helpful, they seem to have benefited from the AA meetings.
Lots of those meetings are "open" (check a directory) and I encourage anyone who has become weary of failure to go to one of those meetings. We have, in both of my home groups, a few who are not addicts themselves but who are living with it in someone else. Just as I have found alanon very helpful, they seem to have benefited from the AA meetings.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: California
Posts: 99
I used to look for these too... like happily ever after..
My AH is clean over a year and working a program (aa)
This has been the HARDEST 5 years of my life
Addiction is so much more complex, deep, & cunning then I ever imagined
We live seperately for now.. I may live with him if he gets to two years... that is how carefully I need to take this...
It didn't make sense to me until I went through it but being involved and "helpfull" with his recovery actually didn't help him.. he relapsed, blamed me, said I put too much pressure on him..and it wouldn't have worked anyways since he got clean for me..
He got clean all by himself..I love him and enjoy spending time with him but I struggle with healing the trauma the last 5 years has caused.. the lies, manipulation, moving, financial problems... and a child was out of the question (I could never intentionally bring a child into active addiction) and the ugliness I experienced that I didn't know existed
So that's my positive story.. he's clean.. he's changing.. we're still together and very much in love...ALL HUGE MIRACLES.. but he lost his home to addixtion.. spent his $100,000 401k on drugs.. lost his job...his reputation and makes half what he used to.. Shattered my trust.. And lost the last of my childbearing years...got accidentally pregnant at 42 &lost the baby at 10 weeks probably because my eggs were too old.. so we're building up from zero again.. we actually talk all the time about how lucky and grateful we are that we're still together.. that he didn't die fron this.. How lucky we are to have love... But it was a journey through hell to get here.. and if he relapsed.. I don't know if I coupd go through it again
My AH is clean over a year and working a program (aa)
This has been the HARDEST 5 years of my life
Addiction is so much more complex, deep, & cunning then I ever imagined
We live seperately for now.. I may live with him if he gets to two years... that is how carefully I need to take this...
It didn't make sense to me until I went through it but being involved and "helpfull" with his recovery actually didn't help him.. he relapsed, blamed me, said I put too much pressure on him..and it wouldn't have worked anyways since he got clean for me..
He got clean all by himself..I love him and enjoy spending time with him but I struggle with healing the trauma the last 5 years has caused.. the lies, manipulation, moving, financial problems... and a child was out of the question (I could never intentionally bring a child into active addiction) and the ugliness I experienced that I didn't know existed
So that's my positive story.. he's clean.. he's changing.. we're still together and very much in love...ALL HUGE MIRACLES.. but he lost his home to addixtion.. spent his $100,000 401k on drugs.. lost his job...his reputation and makes half what he used to.. Shattered my trust.. And lost the last of my childbearing years...got accidentally pregnant at 42 &lost the baby at 10 weeks probably because my eggs were too old.. so we're building up from zero again.. we actually talk all the time about how lucky and grateful we are that we're still together.. that he didn't die fron this.. How lucky we are to have love... But it was a journey through hell to get here.. and if he relapsed.. I don't know if I coupd go through it again
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
My husband has 20 months recovered so far and is still going strong ! When he was in rehab (based on private therapy) they held a reunion during that time and we were very encouraged to hear all of the success stories of people who had been through treatment, went home and returned to normal and productive lives. This year we returned for the reunion event and my husband told his story of recovery. It was an amazing feeling standing there by his side.
I think you wont find as many positive success stories on the friends and family forum because I feel like most people post when there is some sort of trauma in their life and they are looking for help. You will find more people in recovery posting on the Substance Abuse, Newcomers and Secular forums. People utilizing all different methods of recovery, having success. There is also a forum here for Stories of Recovery.
I think Stucco is correct, its common for people to need multiple treatments, and that is usually over a period of time so it can seem hopeless for many. But addiction has so many variables because of the way it affects not just the brain, but the whole person & their social structures as it progresses. Best outcomes are when the person gets treatment specific to their individual needs (as quickly as possible), looking for root cause, dealing with past trauma, or childhood issues.
I think if you are looking for negative stories you will definitely find them, but if you look for positive ones you will find those also.
I think you wont find as many positive success stories on the friends and family forum because I feel like most people post when there is some sort of trauma in their life and they are looking for help. You will find more people in recovery posting on the Substance Abuse, Newcomers and Secular forums. People utilizing all different methods of recovery, having success. There is also a forum here for Stories of Recovery.
I think Stucco is correct, its common for people to need multiple treatments, and that is usually over a period of time so it can seem hopeless for many. But addiction has so many variables because of the way it affects not just the brain, but the whole person & their social structures as it progresses. Best outcomes are when the person gets treatment specific to their individual needs (as quickly as possible), looking for root cause, dealing with past trauma, or childhood issues.
I think if you are looking for negative stories you will definitely find them, but if you look for positive ones you will find those also.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8
I keep looking for success stories also, but I'm looking for the "quick fixes". I want my son better, and I want him better now, and that just isn't going to happen. When I take a step back though, and really think about it, I know several success stories. The man that just did some construction on my home I later learned is a recovering addict. You would never know it to meet him or talk to him. I only know from someone that has met him at a meeting. A great friend of mine is a recovering addict. (recovered may be a better term for these two men, as both are clean and sober, mature, responsible, healthy, everything we want for our family members)
part time member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,910
I was in denial of my son's heroin problem. The call from the police saying that he had been shot was a wake up call. He got shot in the groin in his own bedroom while we were off camping for the weekend. Only he and the girlfriend were there and they aren't saying what happened. I think the girlfriend shot him, don't know why. They were both high. The bullet went completely through him and his rectum. He currently has a colostomy bag and still has a huge hole in his azz that needs packing every day. It has been 5 months. The first couple of months were awful and it was touch and go (regarding behavior and drug use) and I didn't think that he would make it. Right now he says that he is clean. He acts like he is clean. But I can't seem accept that. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He didn't want to go to rehab he said that the only thing that can help him is him. He wants to be reconnected, as he puts it, so badly. He said that is the driving power with him. I am worried that if he gets all put back together he will relapse. But as of today it is a positive story because he is number one, alive (he came soooo close to dying) and clean.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I think it all depends on what your vision of a "positive story" is?
If the vision is on the fairy tale side of life and looks something like this: addict goes to a 30 day rehab comes home better then ever and will never use again........then NO not to much of those kind of stories here.
The kind of positive stories here at SR and there are a great many, lies in the reality side of life. Addiction is a life long needing to be addressed every single day effort which the addict wants more then anything. They have to work hard and attempt to get to the root issues of addiction which are often deep deep pain. They have to learn new ways to cope with life on life's terms. They have to become familiar with and comfortable with all those feelings they numbed away with booze and drugs. They have to want to make better choices for themselves every minute of every hour each day.
A life lived with an addict can change in a heartbeat with just one bad decision on their part. Addiction waits for them, builds in strength and waits for the opportunity of that bad decision and comes out stonger then it was before.
The best positive stories are from the ones who work their own programs and have found peace in their own lives with or without the addict.
If the vision is on the fairy tale side of life and looks something like this: addict goes to a 30 day rehab comes home better then ever and will never use again........then NO not to much of those kind of stories here.
The kind of positive stories here at SR and there are a great many, lies in the reality side of life. Addiction is a life long needing to be addressed every single day effort which the addict wants more then anything. They have to work hard and attempt to get to the root issues of addiction which are often deep deep pain. They have to learn new ways to cope with life on life's terms. They have to become familiar with and comfortable with all those feelings they numbed away with booze and drugs. They have to want to make better choices for themselves every minute of every hour each day.
A life lived with an addict can change in a heartbeat with just one bad decision on their part. Addiction waits for them, builds in strength and waits for the opportunity of that bad decision and comes out stonger then it was before.
The best positive stories are from the ones who work their own programs and have found peace in their own lives with or without the addict.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 111
But as of today it is a positive story - this from Loves to Travel
While we all know that it is a day at a time process, I agree with findthelight-
hearing some long term success stories, meaning on going success which is still a day at a time - from addicts who are there..... would give me some support.
I have reached out to the substance abuse board.
Sad that there are not day at a time success stories on the parent board.....
b.
While we all know that it is a day at a time process, I agree with findthelight-
hearing some long term success stories, meaning on going success which is still a day at a time - from addicts who are there..... would give me some support.
I have reached out to the substance abuse board.
Sad that there are not day at a time success stories on the parent board.....
b.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
deek alkie/addict, active in my addiciton for 30 yrs on and off. In jail 7 times, multiple institutions and suicide attempts. Lost everything! Home, family , job, vehicles,
Sober 1 yr, happy
Life is good! Rebuilding 24 hours at a time.
Sober 1 yr, happy
Life is good! Rebuilding 24 hours at a time. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by oneday66 
I used to look for these too... like happily ever after..
My AH is clean over a year and working a program (aa)
This has been the HARDEST 5 years of my life
Addiction is so much more complex, deep, & cunning then I ever imagined
We live seperately for now.. I may live with him if he gets to two years... that is how carefully I need to take this...
It didn't make sense to me until I went through it but being involved and "helpfull" with his recovery actually didn't help him.. he relapsed, blamed me, said I put too much pressure on him..and it wouldn't have worked anyways since he got clean for me..
He got clean all by himself..I love him and enjoy spending time with him but I struggle with healing the trauma the last 5 years has caused.. the lies, manipulation, moving, financial problems... and a child was out of the question (I could never intentionally bring a child into active addiction) and the ugliness I experienced that I didn't know existed
So that's my positive story.. he's clean.. he's changing.. we're still together and very much in love...ALL HUGE MIRACLES.. but he lost his home to addixtion.. spent his $100,000 401k on drugs.. lost his job...his reputation and makes half what he used to.. Shattered my trust.. And lost the last of my childbearing years...got accidentally pregnant at 42 &lost the baby at 10 weeks probably because my eggs were too old.. so we're building up from zero again.. we actually talk all the time about how lucky and grateful we are that we're still together.. that he didn't die fron this.. How lucky we are to have love... But it was a journey through hell to get here.. and if he relapsed.. I don't know if I coupd go through it again
My AH is clean over a year and working a program (aa)
This has been the HARDEST 5 years of my life
Addiction is so much more complex, deep, & cunning then I ever imagined
We live seperately for now.. I may live with him if he gets to two years... that is how carefully I need to take this...
It didn't make sense to me until I went through it but being involved and "helpfull" with his recovery actually didn't help him.. he relapsed, blamed me, said I put too much pressure on him..and it wouldn't have worked anyways since he got clean for me..
He got clean all by himself..I love him and enjoy spending time with him but I struggle with healing the trauma the last 5 years has caused.. the lies, manipulation, moving, financial problems... and a child was out of the question (I could never intentionally bring a child into active addiction) and the ugliness I experienced that I didn't know existed
So that's my positive story.. he's clean.. he's changing.. we're still together and very much in love...ALL HUGE MIRACLES.. but he lost his home to addixtion.. spent his $100,000 401k on drugs.. lost his job...his reputation and makes half what he used to.. Shattered my trust.. And lost the last of my childbearing years...got accidentally pregnant at 42 &lost the baby at 10 weeks probably because my eggs were too old.. so we're building up from zero again.. we actually talk all the time about how lucky and grateful we are that we're still together.. that he didn't die fron this.. How lucky we are to have love... But it was a journey through hell to get here.. and if he relapsed.. I don't know if I coupd go through it again
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8
Bad and good
My adult son asked to go to rehab today. I took him to meet the intake worker today. Bad news was that he wouldn't go. But... The intake intern is a 14 month sober graduate. Heroin and meth history for several years. Really impressive young man. So.... A positive in my heartbroken world. I will keep praying and trying to stay strong.
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