Why I had to stop the madness.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 5
Why I had to stop the madness.
I'm on my 4th day of sobriety and I'm doing great. I've finally made it back to the gym and I'm actually starting to sleep without gasping for air and sweating all night. One of the many reasons I decided to quit is because of my withdrawal symptoms. I drank a bottle of maker's mark and a bunch of beers the night before New Years Eve day. I woke up the next day feeling bubbly to say the least. I had two very strong cups of coffee and some breakfast and then started the long drive to Atlanta to meet some friends to celebrate. I was about two hours into the drive when panic took hold. This was a full on hyperventilating anxiety attack. I tried dealing with it for a little while and I thought I was going to pass out. I exited the interstate as soon as I could. I went to a gas station and tried to look normal. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't look away. Every time I did I would shutter and start to pass out. My solution? Buy beer ASAP. I must have looked like a crack head buying that sick pack. I pounded the first beer and then sipped two more on the road. After New Years I went on a 4 day bender. I finally had to get back to Carolina for work. My drive was hell. Less panic, but still hell. I slowly started to ween myself from alcohol. Gasping for breath and sweating all night. I convinced myself at work I was having a heart attack and locked myself in a bathroom stall until I either died or shook off the panic attack. I can't go through that again. I almost went to emergency a few times. I feel great now. My head is clear and I'm motivated. I'm only sober 4 days because I had to slowly stop drinking. Cold turkey was terrifying and I thought my heart was going to explode. Life is good on the wagon y'all.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and welcome. OMG you posted a huge remember when for me I never want to repeat. when I finally became sober and look back it became clear why/how I was insane and the reason alcoholism is powerful, cunning and insidious. Because my head and thinking was under the influence and I had no logical thinking process even though I thought I was a rocket scientist and every thing was under MY control, my decisions were correct in not seeking medical help for my daily bumps.
Eventually I found AA and following advice of their veterans life has become more manageable when I let it. It's been work but well worth it.
These pages can be of great help in the process onto the path of sobriety if we get out of the way and accept..........
BE WELL
Eventually I found AA and following advice of their veterans life has become more manageable when I let it. It's been work but well worth it.
These pages can be of great help in the process onto the path of sobriety if we get out of the way and accept..........
BE WELL
Congratulations on four days! I suffered something similar from the sounds of what you describe during the months leading up to a decision to quit. Mostly in the mornings after something to eat and usually in the bathroom after showeing I would feel as if the blood had left my head and that I was going to pass out or die. The panic was awful and the sensation terrible. Once or twice I subsided to my knees to try to get rid of the feeling. It was one of the scares that helped me decide to quit. Haven't had any episodes like that since I did thank goodness!
All the best and good luck with your journey!
All the best and good luck with your journey!
Congrats on 4 days sober. It is amazing how good it can feel to be sober, especially early on. There will be ups and downs along the way as I've discovered but if you stay committed, and have a plan, it will get easier. My plan is pretty simple, my sobriety comes first. That means if I can't handle a situation that might trigger drinking I remove myself from the situation and don't berate myself for it. I try to think the drink through when I start to romanticize drinking iny mind, and not get to hungry, too angry, too lonely, or too tired (HALT). SR and drinking blogs keep me grounded and inspired. Pity parties are ok but remember that it will pass and things will always be better in the (sober) morning. Good luck to you and let us know how you are doing.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 5
Wow, thanks everyone. This is great feedback. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this. This is my first weekend sober and I'm trying to stay busy. Just ran for 40 minutes and now I'll be headed out for nine holes a little later. This hunger is ridiculous!!!! I ate so much last night. I figured ice cream and snacks was better than a fifth.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 452
Good job on 4 days. I had a similar experience one time driving. I was about half way to my destination and was FREAKING OUT. What was made it more scary is that I was not near a gas station or somewhere where I could go and grab something (alcohol) to make myself feel more comfortable.
Great job on Day 4!!
I can relate to that experience, I was on week long fishing trip back in August, it was one of my last binges, it was a week of by day fishing, by night drinking pretty hard, after a week of not really eating that much and survivng on a liquid diet, I was on the drive home.
It was about 4hrs to get home, about an hour into it, i felt I was gonna pass out, my heart was pounding and for fear of crashing, pulled off the motorway into the nearest town, to see if I could find a restroom . . . I did and the irony is, it was a public restroom in a hospital!! . . . I remember thinking at least if I pass out I'm in the right place.
I eventually made it back home, the 4hrs took about 6hrs, with multiple stops every hour to straighten myself up!!
We DON'T need to go back to those dark times . . . Sobriety can turn life around!!
I can relate to that experience, I was on week long fishing trip back in August, it was one of my last binges, it was a week of by day fishing, by night drinking pretty hard, after a week of not really eating that much and survivng on a liquid diet, I was on the drive home.
It was about 4hrs to get home, about an hour into it, i felt I was gonna pass out, my heart was pounding and for fear of crashing, pulled off the motorway into the nearest town, to see if I could find a restroom . . . I did and the irony is, it was a public restroom in a hospital!! . . . I remember thinking at least if I pass out I'm in the right place.
I eventually made it back home, the 4hrs took about 6hrs, with multiple stops every hour to straighten myself up!!
We DON'T need to go back to those dark times . . . Sobriety can turn life around!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 5
Anxiety is what turned one weekend of drinking into a week of drinking for me. I think once you get well into your addiction it's easier to drink than deal with withdrawal. I'm hiking with my brother this weekend and he was talking about drinking whiskey because of the cold and I told him I'd quit drinking. Going to be a challenge to not drink with my bro. I'll get through it.
Welcome SoberBP. I'm so glad you joined us and are off to a great start.
Reading your first post brought back memories of how I used to live. I went on that way for decades, always intending to control the amounts I drank. It was hard to admit I couldn't predict what would happen once that first drink hit. No amount of willpower was enough. It is wonderful to be free of it. Happy for you.
Reading your first post brought back memories of how I used to live. I went on that way for decades, always intending to control the amounts I drank. It was hard to admit I couldn't predict what would happen once that first drink hit. No amount of willpower was enough. It is wonderful to be free of it. Happy for you.
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