she's at the center of it all, but is she a user?
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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she's at the center of it all, but is she a user?
My sister's last three men have all been drug addicts. One is currently in jail, one in prison for meth, and the other is her current boyfriend who has a new sob story every day related to financial difficulties.
Between the two of them, we have heard some of the most far fetched sob stories, mostly about car trouble, terrible gas mileage in their vehicle (her boyfriend claimed to have spent 1,200 in one month on gas...after doing that math I realized that the most they could spend is 600), sudden urgent needs for new work boots, urgent needs for $40 to $60 cash, items allegedly being stolen from them, loosing jewelry and/or cell phones constantly,
She never has any money, she has almost never provided her kids enough to eat. She is very secretive, cannot stand to have her picture taken, and will not use facebook.
However, she doesn't look like she uses meth or any other drugs. She is good looking and young looking for her age. She is thin, but not as thin as your typical druggie. Despite all of this, is it still possible that she is abusing drugs?
Her daughter recently was arrested on drug related charges as well. To protect my identity as much as possible, I won't say much more.
How is it that she's in the center of all of this and NOT a drug user?
Are these financial sob stories common for drug users?
Between the two of them, we have heard some of the most far fetched sob stories, mostly about car trouble, terrible gas mileage in their vehicle (her boyfriend claimed to have spent 1,200 in one month on gas...after doing that math I realized that the most they could spend is 600), sudden urgent needs for new work boots, urgent needs for $40 to $60 cash, items allegedly being stolen from them, loosing jewelry and/or cell phones constantly,
She never has any money, she has almost never provided her kids enough to eat. She is very secretive, cannot stand to have her picture taken, and will not use facebook.
However, she doesn't look like she uses meth or any other drugs. She is good looking and young looking for her age. She is thin, but not as thin as your typical druggie. Despite all of this, is it still possible that she is abusing drugs?
Her daughter recently was arrested on drug related charges as well. To protect my identity as much as possible, I won't say much more.
How is it that she's in the center of all of this and NOT a drug user?
Are these financial sob stories common for drug users?
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
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How is it that she's in the center of all of this and NOT a drug user?
If she is a very sick codie, even if she is not using herself, she will make up bs stories to cover up for the addict and to hide her enabling.
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Having been on this merry-go-round for a few years with my AS, I have to say that all the red flags are present. It could be possible that she's not using, but if it were my sister, I would work on the assumption that she is. The constant and urgent needs for money is the biggest red flag of all.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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You never really know. Some codependents are just so codependent that they believe the lies and then repeat them. Their codie behavior does not have a BS filter. You know it sounds crazy..but she may not. Or she may be a druggie herself.
There is a girl who is 15 that goes to my daughter's school. She is ate up with drugs and openly admits to taking them, and I have seen photos of her doing drugs on Instagram. I called the police.
She is thin but other than that, looks normal. She is a beautiful girl and it is a true shame. Not all of them look like a hot mess all the time. This girl's parents are losers and her grandmother has custody of her. Unfortunatly grandma is aging and has not been taught any education how to spot this or what to do about it, so she keeps giving her money and enabling her. It's very sad.
Lucky for me, my daughter at this point is disgusted with drugs and alcohol, she is 14. I hope she stays this way forever!
I am sorry to hear that about your sister. Even if she is not a user herself, it sound like she is in a toxic relationship. I hope you do whatever you can to protect (and feed) her children.
Gentle Hugs.
There is a girl who is 15 that goes to my daughter's school. She is ate up with drugs and openly admits to taking them, and I have seen photos of her doing drugs on Instagram. I called the police.
She is thin but other than that, looks normal. She is a beautiful girl and it is a true shame. Not all of them look like a hot mess all the time. This girl's parents are losers and her grandmother has custody of her. Unfortunatly grandma is aging and has not been taught any education how to spot this or what to do about it, so she keeps giving her money and enabling her. It's very sad.
Lucky for me, my daughter at this point is disgusted with drugs and alcohol, she is 14. I hope she stays this way forever!
I am sorry to hear that about your sister. Even if she is not a user herself, it sound like she is in a toxic relationship. I hope you do whatever you can to protect (and feed) her children.
Gentle Hugs.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 88
Originally Posted by Carlotta 
She could be a very sick codie. Codependents often take on the traits and behavior of the addict or alcoholic,
I didn't understand addiction back then... and I didn't know the term codependent... it was just "love" to me back then... a twisted, sick, controlling, manipulative love... but it was the only thing I understood at the time.
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