Nramire2

I have been with my fiancé for over 3 years now and we have been thru a lot of mountains I guess u can say when it comes to my past alcohol and sever drug usage. I am recovering from opiates and recently from alcohol. I finally hit my rock bottom.
He has confronted me about both issues in the past and helps me work thru it but time to time he gets in these angry, resentful almost moods where I feel like all the support he gave just was thrown out the window. I can kinda understand the addiction makes us all lie, cheat and do things our sober self wouldn't dream of doing but I'm trying to change but it's. Not overnight. One moment he's by my side and being supportive and kind and then the next he gets angry at my addictions.
No one in my family has the kind of issues as I do so I feel like a black sheep. I just know what I need to do but it's heartbreaking and almost breaks my spirits to have someone I care about so much to treat me this way.. Idk??

EverySngleNight

I'm sorry for what you're going through with your partner. It sounds like you understand where they're coming from, and why they are sometimes resentful- but are having a hard time dealing with their negative emotions as you don't seem to have many other sources of support.

You're not in the best position to help your partner cope with their feelings, while you're in recovery. Do you think your partner would consider counseling? Maybe you could join him and work on this together.

It will take time, and you could both could really benefit from a source of additional support.

All my best. Congrats on getting clean, and welcome to SR.

Raider

Bunches of us get it. Hang in there!

KateL

Give it time. Adjusting can be tricky for both of you and I agree with the counseling ideas .. can't hurt xxx

least

Give him more time to get used to the sober you. If you've been together three years and he's seen your addiction up close, it may be hard for him to understand why you can't just give it up. Give him time to see you change yourself. And counseling wouldn't hurt either.

Dee74

Hi Nramire

Fair or not, I found people got tired of me making promises I never kept.

You'll find that people attitudes will change and that trust will return if you stay in recovery

I saw you have 4 months - thats great but it may take a little longer for people to see the changes in you.

do you have a recovery plan?

D

kflee

I agree. It may not be true for all people, but I have been witness to many spouses acting confused and fluctuate so much on how much support they give. Its hard when they atsrt acting the opposite the next time you guys talk. He has been on a roller coaster ride as well, so give him some time as he has given you at times. When someone loves and cares that much it is hard to cope when they see their loved ones unhappy or lost in translation with their addiction. It becomes hard for them to think it is easier said than done. You seem to know what you want. Glad you are here in SR. It is changing my life moment by moment.

Nramire2

I guess you all have a point, and a very logical...it's hard to make someone believe you are on the right track "this time" when for the most part he's heard that too many times n I would fall right back in.
I do want to just so the right thing, for myself and then my family I just hope they all can see the progress and the chNge.

Thanks for your supportive words

Dee74

have faith and a little patience - you'll get there!

D