At least I know he's breathing...
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 34
At least I know he's breathing...
I just looked in my son's truck to see if he was in there. He is. Thank God he is breathing deeply under that blanket. ( : ) and : ( at the same time.) He called me last night at work and I told him he had to do what he had to do for him. I have no idea if he made his appointment or not. I have not spoken to him. I told him to not spin whatever around and put it on me. Acting like I've done something... : (
I have been trying so hard to keep it together. I just feel the need to write a little before I go to work. I will do my readings at work. I am also going to a "parent's meeting" tonight. I think it's an Alanon meeting. I know it's not a Naranon. There aren't too many of those locally.
So hard...
Prayers gone up for all of us and our families who are dealing with this beast of a thing.
Take care.
su : )
I have been trying so hard to keep it together. I just feel the need to write a little before I go to work. I will do my readings at work. I am also going to a "parent's meeting" tonight. I think it's an Alanon meeting. I know it's not a Naranon. There aren't too many of those locally.
So hard...
Prayers gone up for all of us and our families who are dealing with this beast of a thing.
Take care.
su : )
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Hello SpiralingUp:
Yes, with addiction our desires for our children do change. When once I desired for my son to develop his artistic talents (especially if it were to be in manual labor like the construction industry where he can look at the back view of a blueprint and know what the front should look like!), I now am grateful that he survived this arctic blast (I am in Michigan). At least, I think he survived it. I have not gotten a call from any hospital or police department or coroner's office saying otherwise.
Hang in there. Addiction sucks for our loved ones and for us. You are doing the right thing!
Yes, with addiction our desires for our children do change. When once I desired for my son to develop his artistic talents (especially if it were to be in manual labor like the construction industry where he can look at the back view of a blueprint and know what the front should look like!), I now am grateful that he survived this arctic blast (I am in Michigan). At least, I think he survived it. I have not gotten a call from any hospital or police department or coroner's office saying otherwise.
Hang in there. Addiction sucks for our loved ones and for us. You are doing the right thing!
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 34
Oh sojourner : ) , I feel bad. That is so scary in that brutal cold. But you are right, you heard no "news". *hugs* for you.
I let my son come in today while I was at work. I had a little "chat" with him about does he really want to live that way and some other stuff. I told him I cannot do this anymore. I won't do it either. It seems that "just for today" he doesn't. He said he thought all day about the past two nights sleeping outside in the truck. I know the first night it was only about 16 degrees out. Brrrr.... Last night wasn't much better. And unfortunately, his truck just stinks because of what has gone on in it. (The drugging.)
He hooked up this afternoon with his one roommate from rehab and another guy who lives down the road from us who was at rehab at that time as well. They came a little while ago to take him with them to a meeting. We had another "chat" and somehow, someway, I have to have some sort of faith for this evening. This moment. That may sound stupid, but I have to. He seemed to be remorseful and feel bad. But I know that's how they act. Some of the people who know of the "situation" think I am being "mean" in some way. I tell them I have to do this. I have to take care of me. And even though it hurts me a lot, I have to do this. I cannot have this in my little world anymore. I am back to sleeping with my keys, medicine and money where I put it and I think it sucks.
Right before he left, he sold his quad and a dirt bike he had bought with his last check. I made sure that I got the money. Not him. He willingly handed it over. Next week, God willing, we will go to the bank and fix a little problem there. I do NOT trust him in the least to give him the money and have him do it himself... : \
Anyway, I just needed to write again. I think it helps me and my readings help too. I ended up going to sleep when I got home from work today. My pain from the stupid "cRAp" and fibro that is in me is just off the charts today. The cold rain is not helping. The fatigue trashes me too.
So with that, it's time for me to go to bed and read.
Prayers for ALL of us and our troubled ones. I pray for peace for us and them. : )
Take care.
su : )
I let my son come in today while I was at work. I had a little "chat" with him about does he really want to live that way and some other stuff. I told him I cannot do this anymore. I won't do it either. It seems that "just for today" he doesn't. He said he thought all day about the past two nights sleeping outside in the truck. I know the first night it was only about 16 degrees out. Brrrr.... Last night wasn't much better. And unfortunately, his truck just stinks because of what has gone on in it. (The drugging.)
He hooked up this afternoon with his one roommate from rehab and another guy who lives down the road from us who was at rehab at that time as well. They came a little while ago to take him with them to a meeting. We had another "chat" and somehow, someway, I have to have some sort of faith for this evening. This moment. That may sound stupid, but I have to. He seemed to be remorseful and feel bad. But I know that's how they act. Some of the people who know of the "situation" think I am being "mean" in some way. I tell them I have to do this. I have to take care of me. And even though it hurts me a lot, I have to do this. I cannot have this in my little world anymore. I am back to sleeping with my keys, medicine and money where I put it and I think it sucks.
Right before he left, he sold his quad and a dirt bike he had bought with his last check. I made sure that I got the money. Not him. He willingly handed it over. Next week, God willing, we will go to the bank and fix a little problem there. I do NOT trust him in the least to give him the money and have him do it himself... : \
Anyway, I just needed to write again. I think it helps me and my readings help too. I ended up going to sleep when I got home from work today. My pain from the stupid "cRAp" and fibro that is in me is just off the charts today. The cold rain is not helping. The fatigue trashes me too.
So with that, it's time for me to go to bed and read.
Prayers for ALL of us and our troubled ones. I pray for peace for us and them. : )
Take care.
su : )
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Sending you my hugs and prayers for your peace. It is very hard to be MOM to an addict. You are doing what is right for you and it does drain your spirit. Know he has many resources and unfortunately for us Moms, it rarely is US who can pull them out! Many of us Moms have forgotten we are people too!
Love and Hugs
TT
Love and Hugs
TT
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Spiralingup I am glad to hear your son is ok. I pray for the small things all the time although I'd say going to a meeting is a big first step. I think you are doing a good job letting him know you are done. It is very hard to be firm and see them hurting but it is what brings them closer (we hope) to recovery. At the least we know we are not enabling them to continue to use because of our help.
Your son sounds a lot like mine. He is very remorseful, feels bad and is a decent kid really (I call him a kid but he is 30). It tears me apart to see him struggle just with life in general but Ive given it over to God and pray he figures it all out. I know I do not have that kid of power!
I would be thankful for the big and small steps he is taking. I know they say things all the time but I believe they mean it. For some reason it seems addicts are very weak when it comes to sticking it out through the really tough part or even hard times in their lives. Im not sure what makes them that way. I pray every night for everyone here and I will certainly say a very special prayer for you and your son tonight. Hugs.
Your son sounds a lot like mine. He is very remorseful, feels bad and is a decent kid really (I call him a kid but he is 30). It tears me apart to see him struggle just with life in general but Ive given it over to God and pray he figures it all out. I know I do not have that kid of power!
I would be thankful for the big and small steps he is taking. I know they say things all the time but I believe they mean it. For some reason it seems addicts are very weak when it comes to sticking it out through the really tough part or even hard times in their lives. Im not sure what makes them that way. I pray every night for everyone here and I will certainly say a very special prayer for you and your son tonight. Hugs.
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