Mags1

Yep, that's me. I don't give myself a break. I've forgotten how to laugh. I analyse most everything. My brain doesn't get a rest. I worry about what might happen.

No misgivings for what I might have done, no hangover, no passing out drunk, no empty bottles to hide, no blurry eyes, no throbbing head , no hangover, full stop.

There are a lot worse people than me in the world, self pity has never been one of my faults, so forgive me if I sound like a spoilt brat who doesn't know she's been born, with all the other stuff going on in the world.

I am embarrassed how pathetic I can be. Just rambling. Please accept my apology in advance. How do I move on, I'm taking baby steps, firm and always going forward. What do I do now. Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

Dee74

I'm not sure what you're apologising for, but stop it

I remember I was deadly serious there for a while. I'd forgotten how to laugh.
I'd forgotten not to sweat the small stuff because I'd made everything into big stuff.

The first step for me was resigning from being the General Manager of the Universe.
Not everything is my responsibility and not all problems are mine to fix.

I needed some 'me time' - second time in two days for that concept - so I could restore some balance to my life. I needed some light to go with my shade, some yang top go with my yin and some laughter to my unrelenting seriousness...

everything needs a complementary part to be a whole I think - that goes for us too

D

Mags1

Haha general manager of the universe, there must be two of us, unless I got it when you resigned lol.

I think I will resign too, Dee, don't get paid much, no job satisfaction, just worry, stress and sleepless nights.

I resign! Thankyou x

Mags1

Hi YoungTom

into CBT / MoodGym, not heard of it, will look when I leave work later, better get my skates on have a good day

Louise82

Mags, you have nothing to apologize for. I think a lot of us go through what you're going through in our early sobriety so you don't sound like a spoilt brat at all. I for one can relate to what you're saying. My brain just doesn't have a day off; it's constantly whirring round, trying to predict the future, guessing what everyone else is thinking...on and on it goes. And I definitely take things too seriously.

I have to keep reminding myself that a) not every conversation is about me b) I don't need to be part of every conversation.

As Dee said, scheduling some "me time" has also helped. I have some downtime to do pilates, meditate, dance, read or do something else I enjoy. I just focus on what I'm doing at that moment and my enjoyment of it.

I've also found that reading about mindfulness and doing online mindfulness meditations is helping me learn how to live only in the present moment and appreciate it for what it is. Thanks to a couple of SR members, I found this link to a series of free meditations that I'm really enjoying doing: Mindfulness - Meditation Audio Tracks

As for taking things too seriously, I'm training myself to laugh at myself more...to laugh when I do something embarrassing, have crazy prediction thoughts in my head or whatever. It's hard because I'm pretty egotistical and proud but I am trying!

Mags1

Thanks Louise I've always took the hard route in life my reasoning that if I want to go the easy way I will be able to a lot quicker. The reasoning sounds insane but that's me. Yes you're right, we should laugh more, I did do, honest but then again it was probably drunken. My husband said I just used to keep topped up all the time, aswell as my binges.
I will look into the audio tracks for meditation. Thanks again x

alphaomega

This.

KateL

Don't feel bad about yourself. You will laugh again. xxxxxxxx