Thatdeliveryguy

Today I've come roaring into day six. The worst physical withdrawals are gone, lack of sleep persist, but is highly livable. For the first time, in over a year, I have generally happy disposition. I am enjoying life, and riding a sober high. I have some abdominal pain, mild burning sensation, but it too is fading. Even that doesn't bother me because it seems to be gradually tapering, and if it
doesn't fix it self soon, I will seek medical help. Bottom line though, I am feeling great!

Now for the hard part, after all this I am still convincing myself I can, at sometime, drink again. I won't do it today, or tomorrow or even in the near future, but I can't shake the feeling, one day I will drink again.

I know once my abdominal pain goes away and I've seen a doc and all the metabolic panels are good, I am going to slip into a place of absolutely complacency. I am assuming by then the high of sobriety will be gone and I will be left to my own devices, understandably for both good or evil. I know, based on my past behavior, I can't drink or I will invariably slip and slid back to day one! Why does the mind play such evil game?

I am open to any advice on, how, why, what etc... I do to get beyond the stage of complacency? I know its coming, I've read many a post about people falling in the 30 to 90 day ( comfy zone) range. You know, the phase where many of peoples immediate issues have been fixed and there are no more critical issues.

In closing, I generally enjoy my time I've spent here. What an awesome community of people culled together to stand united on one front against whatever addiction they I have. I thank all of you, particularly for supporting me in my first week. In just one short week, I've gone from shear desperation (see my relapse post from last week) and a general feeling of life is going to end, to being happy! 6 days has been a lifetime for me, but I fear the complacency that inevitably will come. Thank you for reading.

SoberMama13

You're amazing. I'm assuming this is not your first "rodeo", as they say?
You're so aware of the inevitable, of the parts of yourself that are intrinsic to this disease we all share. At day 6 I am in awe of that.
Not one to give advice being in early recovery myself (60 days tomorrow!), all I can tell you is what I'm telling myself:
If I don't drink today,
I am not going to drink
Because it is always today...
And right now, that's all I can do.
You're amazing.

freshstart57

It sounds pretty simple - you just haven't quit drinking yet. You've stopped but you haven't quit. You said that you can't drink, but you haven't said that you won't. This improvement in the quality of your life you are now experiencing follows directly from your sobriety, and it is not a reason or justification to destroy it.

You are like me, ThatDeliveryGuy - we can have a life that is long and healthy and worth living, OR we can drink. We simply cannot do both.

A question for you to ponder and a decision for you to make - what is your plan for your continued use of alcohol?

KateL

Congrats on 6 days. You will have highs and lows but everything improves over time. Just be vigilant xx

Dee74

Posting here regularly, posting about my problems and helping others with there helped remind me this is a serious and permanent condition.

I'd always rationalised it away before - 'I feel fine... how bad could I be?' - but it's harder to argue when it's there in front of you.

D

bigsombrero

Rome wasn't built in a day. Or six.

Recovery is a long process, and at this point it might be a good idea to remind you how much more is out there for you. On day 30, 60, and 90 you will come up with mind-boggling questions and feelings that you never knew existed! Recovery is a wild, amazing ride...I'd suggest that perhaps you think ahead to all of the great things that are just over the horizon. If Einstein stopped at 2+2 and said "I know math" and dropped the chalk, the world would have been deprived of some serious advances in science and physics. Don't let yourself get distracted, you have so much more to accomplish. And it can only be achieved by staying sober TODAY. Keep that in the front of your mind!

Good luck.

IOAA2

Hi. I needed to think for a long time that I will not drink today. It was a choice I'm glad I made as my options were diminishing.

I think your fear is justified and we need to accept the fact that we cannot drink in safety. It's really that simple.

BE WELL

EndGameNYC

If I didn't know any better, I might think that you're signing off.

least

It need not be inevitable. You can be just as certain that you'll stay sober and vigilant.

Inca

A sponsor once told me, if you feel complacent or feel like you're going to drink, then you're not doing enough to stay sober. Stay connected with the program, post often, go to meetings, talk with a sponsor. Six days is great! Keep doing the right things and you will likely diminish the opportunity for complacency because being sober will such a great new way to live that you won't be willing to give it up.