steelman1649

Does anyone else deal with an spouse that constantly writes embarrassing things on Facebook in their stupor?

Hammer

naw. I write embarrassing things in my sober.

readerbaby71

ahahahah

Mountainmanbob

just another reason why I dropped out of Facebook a while back

Bob

readerbaby71

Steelman, I know it's easier said than done, but ignore them. A good friend of mine whose wife is an end-stage alcoholic unfriended her on facebook. They are still together but he just didn't want to see it anymore. She may make a fuss, but at least you won't have to deal with her comments that upset and embarrass you.

healthyagain

Mine used to argue with his so-called friends, which BTW are not his friends anymore, and I am not sure who deleted whom. A couple of months ago, AH was throwing toddler tantrums every weekend and deleted himself twice, two weekends in a row. Then he would come back a day after. It was not embarrassing, just very very symptomatic. I even wrote about it here.

steelman1649

Yeah good points. Unlike when I wake up to see the collateral damage to the house it's private. I dread seeing what was posted the night before each morning.

hopeful4

We have an aunt that is addicted to Rx pain meds. You cannot even talk to her most of the time. She has begged me to friend her on FB but I won't because I just cannot tolerate her ramblings. It is a stressor to me, so I eliminated it. Could you do the same? You can hide people from your timeline....I cannot remember how to do it but know you can.

PippiLngstockng

I unfriended xah and modt of his family. Started breathing more freely ever after. He's so out of it, took him a long while to realize.

The best, I can post without thinking how he would react. What a difference that simple fact makes!

He unfriended my brother, who wrote on his FB page something about deadbeat dada. After child support didn't come for 7 weeks last summer. So xah unfriended him!

Drama.

People tell me about xah's pity-me-please postings, but at least I don't have to suffer them first hand.

With four children, I can't exactly go no contact with xah. But I can limit the venues as much as possible. I recommend it!

Florence

I have no qualms about unfriending people. It's just social media.

I unfriended/blocked my mom, for chrissakes. I also unfriended my ex and his family, and a lot of other people whose contributions to my life were little, or were harmful. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of people I don't care about so much (if we're being honest) but since they don't offend me, so be it.

There are also ways to arrange people into groups so you can restrict what they see of your information. I recommend this for family.

The rules of doing social media well are all about having good personal boundaries. If you don't like it, if it makes you cringe, don't read it. You can not read it by hiding or blocking the people that make you squirm with discomfort and/or rage.

formyboys

fb is the devil!....I blocked XRAH long ago because even though he was not my "friend" everytime he would post and a mutual "friend" would like or comment on his post it would show up on my wall...the day a picture of him and the woman he cheated with showed up on my wall that was it. I was also tired of the unending post of how much he missed and loved our son yet there was no attempts at contacting him at all....ugg!..I can do with out it ...period!!

petmagnet

Yep, mine will post things out of boredom while drinking alone at the bar, things like old photos or make comments on things previously posted looking for any feedback or attention. He posts how much he loves his wife and kids, seriously... It seems desperate and fake to me, it's just annoying.

Carlotta

I use facebook mainly for my organizing and advocacy work and cannot afford to be associated with "bottom feeders".
I have no qualms unfriending and blocking toxic people on Facebook.
I did it very recently with a coworker who always has some drama going on on her page and feeds even though it has nothing to do with me. Why? because sooner or later, she might share her nonsense on my page and try to drag me into the madness.

I have no qualms blocking people's texts and calls either if they are stressing me out.
I have learned to prize my peace of mind.

wolfpackfan45

When my son was drinking his posts never embarrassed me, it was the pictures he posted. Omg. His profile pic was of him totally blitzed at a frat party. Another guy was holding him up and his tshirt was wet with beer (or whatever he was drinking). It was awful. Why in the world would anyone put that pic up as their profile picture? When he got sober he deleted all his drinking/drunk pictures, and I'm not his FB "friend". I don't want to be, even though he's over a year sober. I think I'd try to read stuff into his posts, even if they were innocent. So I chose to stay away from him on there.

patientlywaitin

My husband and I no longer have ours. It was nothing but DRAMA. I was a little bummed at first because it meant cutting another tie to my friends and family I had just moved 400mi away from. Now? Ha! Never been happier. It give me peace of mind and in a sense an opportunity to see who really cared to keep in touch. I went from 200 friends to maybe 10, half immediate family. If someone mistakes what I've said its because they aren't listening not misinterpreting. You can't make her get rid of hers if she doesn't want to but there are alternative measures.